Am I the only guy who feels this gives off a vibe she wants a one night stand?

[angel.eyes]

Enjoy your date on Friday.

[TheTraveler]

Would've needed more info if it was a potential one night stand.

 

You did mention she's in college versus you which is a ft worker. They run by a different set of rules/schedule(assuming she's in the 18-23 range).

[4kad]

Would've needed more info if it was a potential one night stand.

 

You did mention she's in college versus you which is a ft worker. They run by a different set of rules/schedule(assuming she's in the 18-23 range).

 

No we are both in our 30's. I said that college students probably meet fast like that because they have a wide open day unlike someone who is older with a full-time job

[TheTraveler]

No we are both in our 30's. I said that college students probably meet fast like that because they have a wide open day unlike someone who is older with a full-time job

 

Gotcha. As I said still cannot tell if it's a ONS as people do meet up quickly these days. Think of early bird catches the worm. She is a woman and will have multiple options easily via online assuming she's not a 500lb beast

 

Friday date is a bit far out from today, but good luck.

[4kad]

Gotcha. As I said still cannot tell if it's a ONS as people do meet up quickly these days. Think of early bird catches the worm. She is a woman and will have multiple options easily via online assuming she's not a 500lb beast

 

Friday date is a bit far out from today, but good luck.

 

 

 

Well im.not desperate for love or sex so 4 days is no biggie

[RecentChange]

Too busy

 

I leave the house at 6:20 am for work, and get back home at 7:00 pm at the earliest. Yet, I was still able to go to a last minute meet up with friends last night (gasp, on a Monday!).

 

Got home at 7, quickly changed and spruced up a bit, called my Lyft and was downtown by 7:45 - plenty early for some drinks and small plates (or a date!). Home a little after 11 - enough to get some beauty sleep and run a 15 hour day today (I don't plan on getting home until after 9).

 

Being able to do things at a drop of a hat doesn't mean someone has "no life". I tend to be so busy, last min stuff actually works best for me. Have to jump on it when I have a free moment.

[4kad]

Too busy

 

I leave the house at 6:20 am for work, and get back home at 7:00 pm at the earliest. Yet, I was still able to go to a last minute meet up with friends last night (gasp, on a Monday!).

 

Got home at 7, quickly changed and spruced up a bit, called my Lyft and was downtown by 7:45 - plenty early for some drinks and small plates (or a date!). Home a little after 11 - enough to get some beauty sleep and run a 15 hour day today (I don't plan on getting home until after 9).

 

Being able to do things at a drop of a hat doesn't mean someone has "no life". I tend to be so busy, last min stuff actually works best for me. Have to jump on it when I have a free moment.

 

It's a big difference between friends and someone who don't know

[RecentChange]

I have done the exact same for a date. Hell one time said sure, meet me after work before I have to catch my train.

 

He was a pass... But at least I found out before texting for a week!

[4kad]

Well I called her and wasn't too impressed with her conversation. First her tone wasn't upbeat enough and she mentioned that she was doing some business work on the computer. Then why agree to talk to me tonight?

 

Then I told her we should meet saturday because I saw on friday it's supposed to be very cold and rainy and a 40% of snow. She then said she is busy saturday and it HAS TO BE FRIDAY??? LOL

 

That;s when I ended the conversation lol

[Miss Peach]

Eh, back when I was dating I would propose a casual meet up (coffee, after work drinks) same day if he seemed cool.

 

Didn't mean I was looking for a one night stand - just rather I hate time wasting. A quick face to face will tell me much more than a phone conversation ever would.

 

I'm the opposite. I'm a planner so I typically have my week's activities planned so I can't just go meet on the drop of a hat. Plus I only have a few evenings per week to socialize. Assuming I'm ready, I still have to drive at least 15-30 minutes to get there and then 15-30 minutes to get home, plus an unknown amount of time at the coffee shop. It really makes it hard to keep up a social life outside of dating.

 

I've found the phone call has gotten me more excited about meeting some guys and it's saved me time with many others who I would have screen out once we met anyway due to some incompatibility that would have come out on the date.

 

Many guys out there don't give a woman much to go on outside of the pictures prior to a date. Women don't pick dates like men do. I get so many request from 'generic' guys I need something to make me want to pick them over the tons of others trying to get my attention. The communication is usually what sets the guys apart IME.

 

Having said that, I wouldn't want to do it endlessly. I can figure things out within a week or two. If it's been a month with no date then I move on.

Edited March 1, 2017 by Miss Peach

[4kad]

I'm the opposite. I'm a planner so I typically have my week's activities planned so I can't just go meet on the drop of a hat. Plus I only have a few evenings per week to socialize. Assuming I'm ready, I still have to drive at least 15-30 minutes to get there and then 15-30 minutes to get home, plus an unknown amount of time at the coffee shop. It really makes it hard to keep up a social life outside of dating.

 

I've found the phone call has gotten me more excited about meeting some guys and it's saved me time with many others who I would have screen out once we met anyway due to some incompatibility that would have come out on the date.

 

Many guys out there don't give a woman much to go on outside of the pictures prior to a date. Women don't pick dates like men do. I get so many request from 'generic' guys I need something to make me want to pick them over the tons of others trying to get my attention. The communication is usually what sets the guys apart IME.

 

Having said that, I wouldn't want to do it endlessly. I can figure things out within a week or two. If it's been a month with no date then I move on.

 

Then when I suggested saturday because it's supposed to be nasty weather on friday her response was

 

"It has to be friday"

 

 

Im like....."huh? Lol

[xUnknown]

She's busy Saturday. She wants to meet Friday, like you initially suggested.

 

Either go on the date with her you set up for Friday, or don't. Sounds like you're reading into things a little bit too much.

 

With you seeming so hot and cold (maybe its just me that gets that impression), I'd make sure (if you do go out with her Friday) to confirm beforehand, so she doesn't bail.

[4kad]

She's busy Saturday. She wants to meet Friday, like you initially suggested.

 

Either go on the date with her you set up for Friday, or don't. Sounds like you're reading into things a little bit too much.

 

With you seeming so hot and cold (maybe its just me that gets that impression), I'd make sure (if you do go out with her Friday) to confirm beforehand, so she doesn't bail.

 

The "it has to be friday" statement turned me off so now we won't be meeting at all.

[normal person]

Well I called her and wasn't too impressed with her conversation. First her tone wasn't upbeat enough and she mentioned that she was doing some business work on the computer. Then why agree to talk to me tonight?

 

You sound so formal. You can't meet someone the same day you talk to them. You assume someone has to give you their full devotion for a phone conversation for someone they've never met and can't look at a computer while they do it. Rather than just write it off or roll with it all you have to dissect it all. This girl and you are not on the same page -- not because you have different personalities or whatever (although still possible), you just have different dating practices. She seems pretty ready just to roll the dice on another guy and see what happens, you think you need time to plan a date, vet her ahead of time with a formal phone conversation, and get her undivided attention. If I was this girl, I would move on -- it wouldn't be worth my time. There are plenty of guys out there who aren't so stuffy or buttoned up about the whole process.

 

I don't think you need to be so incredibly formal about this. Just throw something decent on and meet her for a drink somewhere within walking distance of you both. It's really nowhere near as big of a deal as you're making it out to be. Most of my OLD conversations go like this:

 

Her: Hey, I like X about your profile, [funny question]

Me: Thanks, I appreciate Y about yours, [funny question]

Her: Answer

Me: Haha, cool. Give me your number and we can go out later this week

Her: Sounds good, 555-555-5555

 

I text her:

Me: Hey Sarah, [funny reference to thing we talked about in the message], are you around Thursday night?

Her: Haha, hey. Yeah, Thursday's good.

Me: What part of town/time works for you?

Her: 7ish / East Village?

Me: How about "X" Bar?

Her: Perfect

Me: Cool, see you there.

 

That's it. You don't need to do any more than that. Just because someone wants to meet up quickly doesn't mean they want a one night stand, it probably just means they're busy, efficient, realize that messaging and talking endlessly before you meet up is pointless, and don't care about whatever banal things you want to say ahead of time because she's not going to know if she likes you or not until she sees you in the flesh. I'd suggest you just take a more relaxed attitude towards this.

 

 

Then I told her we should meet saturday because I saw on friday it's supposed to be very cold and rainy and a 40% of snow. She then said she is busy saturday and it HAS TO BE FRIDAY??? LOL

 

That;s when I ended the conversation lol

 

I'm honestly struggling to understand why that's so utterly ridiculous to you. Can you not fathom someone being busy on a particular day?