Jolie84 Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 I think im smuthering my b/f too much. like im always hugging ,kissing wanting him to talk to me give me advice but he doesnt, telling him to call me. I just want to step back a little and just be calm and take things easy, i know im giving him headaches everytime i ask a question like' what time do you finish work?' 'can i see you tomorrow' and i just am finding myself to be annoying and i want to learn how to just walk through situations easily and not be an annoying person.
ciara12step Posted July 25, 2005 Posted July 25, 2005 its understandable .. u just love him that much .. people like u and i need to stay busy .. busy busy busy .. my stupid butt stayed home the last 3 days and ended up callin her .. be strong !
Jolene Posted July 25, 2005 Posted July 25, 2005 If this relationship is new, then yeah, cool off before he thinks you're psycho. Ask him if your love is smothering him...maybe he likes the needy type. Maybe you feel desperation because he is not reciprocating. If this is a longer term relationship, he needs to connect, not distance himself. He's either into you or not. Find out the answers by talking it out WITH HIM. Be courageous and you may be pleasantly surprised with his reactions. If, however, he is being cool with you, you may never be able to really connect. The problem is that women give in to having sex with men too easily and confuse themselves into thinking they have a relationship that doesn't exist. Don't be a doormat! Go get what you need from this guy...he may be waiting for you to take the relationship to the next level.
Author Jolie84 Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 i talked to him last nite about how he doesnt talk to me like if theres a prob with mum or a friend or im just feeling down. me:u dont tel me how can i fix it if i dont get ur side him:bull **** me:i need to know how U feel him:i dont know ... i just dont know what to say that will hepl right now me:u give advice to other ppl but me him:maby coz im the one who adjusts to any issues i have with you ... so u dont have to.most people tell the other person when they have a problem ... hoping that the other person will change to the way they want them to be. i dont ... i am the one who changes so u dont have to worry me:but u use to help me when we first met and all the stuff we went through when we began u wrote paragraphs now its one word. him:i dont think we need to impress each other any more me:why? cause we love each other enough? him: i guess i dont understand all this? it slike he just cant cope with me doesnt wanna deal with me. And he says i complain and am not happy with ANYTHING
XNemesisX Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Maybe he does feel a little smothered...how long have you guys been dating though? The guy that I have been trying to date recently....about 7-8 months ago, he was ALWAYS there for me. He even went to this guy's house who was bothering me and told him to leave me alone. He was always calling ME, begging ME to hang out with him. Now....it's a miracle to get one sentence out of him or to even get him to listen to what is going on in my life. Also, I know that this is not because I only talk about myself...I ask him TONS of questions and want to know about his day, but he gives me one word responses to these questions such as "fine" or "yeah it was ok" nothing detailed. Do you ask your guy questions about himself or do you generally tend to focus your conversations around yourself and your problems? It may just be that he feels like you are not caring enough about his life. If it isn't that...it's very possible that he is losing interest.
Jolene Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Okay....based on the summary of your conversation with him, he is emotionally unavailable. Emotionally retarded, challenged, stunted...call it whatever you like...he cannot express himself and will likely avoid any confrontation. And when people love each other, they fuel their passion by healthy conversation and yes confrontation is part of that. Stop Trying to figure him out! Worry about yourself and how to repair any damage emotionally so far. Then start enjoying your life with or without him. He sounds very sour and frustrating. Stonewalling is what he does best, and that means you will never be vindicated for any of your feelings, so be careful when deciding to talk to him about what he cannot relate to (emotions). If he does have feelings for you, he will try harder once he realizes that you are losing interest and his state of mind is no longer the forefront of your mysteries to unravel. Geez! What a waste of energy this guy sounds to be! I'd rather poke my eyeballs out than flog a dead horse like him.
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