B-Romantic Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 (edited) Hello Everyone, I just wanted some advice as to what I should do. My boyfriend broke up with me a little over two weeks ago. Things between us recently got very difficult when he left to college. He is a few states away, so we only see each other every few months. Before leaving, we were absolutely in love. Everything was wonderful and the passion was real, once he told me he was leaving we were both devastated. I was proud of him, wanted him to get into a great school and make something of himself. It was difficult. He left and we slowly started falling apart. My insecurities really played a toll and all the fighting and trust issues we faced. We fought often and when he would come down to visit, we were often reminded of the love we shared and things seem to be okay. The moment he would leave again, things slowly fell apart. We have "broken up," but this time is different. We have been in No Contact. I begged and pleaded (mistake, I know) but I was desperate when he told me this would be best for him. I know all the fighting killed the relationship, but when we were happy- it was magical. I now realize my insecurities pushed him away. I should have loved MYSELF rather than seeking affirmation in him all of the time. It took THIS for me to really see what went wrong. He told me he is completely done and I am afraid that though this was my wake-up call, it might be too late. He says we will never work and will never be together again. He apologized many many times and told me he really loved me, but this would be best. I decided to give him space. I have not contacted him. I miss my best friend dearly, I love him and I know it my heart what needs to change. He comes down in two weeks to visit. His friend explained he is still deciding whether or not he will see me when he returns. I just need some advice, is it too late? Is there a chance to try again? Should I reach out when I know he is down? I just want a sit-down conversation to really express the issues and let him know that I see it. I know it has only been two weeks. I know I still need time to grow and find myself, but at the least, I would like to have a conversation so he can see I am serious about making these changes. I love him. Please, any advice would be lovely. Edited February 25, 2017 by B-Romantic
Jimmyjackson Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 (edited) First of all, having a relationship were you only see each other every few months is extremely difficult to maintain. He likely got used to you not being around, out of sight out of mind and all that. For a relationship to work, you need to see the other person regularly, at least every week or two. He is at college, he will be meeting new people and that will include girls. I'm assuming he's fairly young? He will want to try new things and have new experiences. Is it too late, should you reach out? Of course you shouldn't reach out. You mention that he literally told you it's over for good. Why would you think there's a chance if he has told you point blank. You only want to reach out to try get him back which is understandable, but you know exactly how he feels so it's pointless. I know you want to sit down and explain how you can change etc but you have to realise it doesn't matter. He is only concerned about how he feels, and so should anyone when deciding to end a relationship. He is putting his needs first and listening to you tell him what YOU want will make no difference because it's about him, not you. All you can do is give him space, if what his friend says is true and he decides to meet you when he is home, let him contact you and take it from there. Best thing you can do is give him a life without you in it. The likelihood is that he would only go back to college for a few months and forget about you again. Stay NC, do not reach out or anything, he has told you it's over so believe him. IF he does get in touch, please post it in here before you reply to get some advice and don't act on impulse. I hope I don't come across as harsh but the answers to your questions are in your post, you've kinda answered them without realising. Good luck. Edited February 25, 2017 by Jimmyjackson
Maldives Posted February 28, 2017 Posted February 28, 2017 Hang in there give him space don't contact h8m tho and let him decide to see u. I was him and we were apart 2 yrs she finally moves up and then 9 mths later dumps me crazy hey and we work ton ether. In ur case don't panic just let him come back to u. U hav to be patient if he doesn't mmm but I'm thinking he will if u allow him the opportunity to miss u
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