Jet8419 Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 Long story short, a guy who was a co-worker kept in touch with me on and off over the last few years after I had left the company we both worked in. We had gone out on a few dates but nothing ever came out of it. We last met up few months before I moved overseas for a year (he last agreed we should go for some event together but he suddenly ghosted). During the year I was overseas, he suddenly texted me one day, asking how I've been etc, short chat then disappeared again. Fast forward 1 year after I returned from overseas, he's now suddenly messaged again "hey stranger! How have you been? Are we overdue for a catch up?" My reply was "I've been busy working. Yeah we are way overdue." And then radio silence again on his end... What is he thinking? I used to like him a lot but his disappearing behaviour is just frustrating. Should I ignore him if he texts me again? Why would he bother to ask me out again if he's not gonna follow through?
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 I wouldn't pursue this. He may enjoy having you in his phone but if he's ghosted before & not being concrete now, just assume he's a flake. If it's super simple to meet him & you want to go, fine but without more effort on follow through on his part, there is no incentive on your part to pick up the laboring oar here. 2
emsx0x Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 Long story short, a guy who was a co-worker kept in touch with me on and off over the last few years after I had left the company we both worked in. We had gone out on a few dates but nothing ever came out of it. We last met up few months before I moved overseas for a year (he last agreed we should go for some event together but he suddenly ghosted). During the year I was overseas, he suddenly texted me one day, asking how I've been etc, short chat then disappeared again. Fast forward 1 year after I returned from overseas, he's now suddenly messaged again "hey stranger! How have you been? Are we overdue for a catch up?" My reply was "I've been busy working. Yeah we are way overdue." And then radio silence again on his end... What is he thinking? I used to like him a lot but his disappearing behaviour is just frustrating. Should I ignore him if he texts me again? Why would he bother to ask me out again if he's not gonna follow through? Either he has severe ADHD and forgets to respond or he is just bored and seeing if you're still around. I wouldn't think too much of it but if he asks you on a date, I would ask him about it casually.
Author Jet8419 Posted February 25, 2017 Author Posted February 25, 2017 Either he has severe ADHD and forgets to respond or he is just bored and seeing if you're still around. I wouldn't think too much of it but if he asks you on a date, I would ask him about it casually. What do you mean by ask him about it "casually"? Like ask him "so is this a date?" kinda thing? He does tend to forget to respond - there was once he was following up on how I went with something he forwarded me, and I had no clue what he was talking about... turned out he screenshot me our past conversation, then realised he only typed it halfway and was never sent to me! Maybe ADHD indeed...
GoldSparkz Posted February 26, 2017 Posted February 26, 2017 I've come across guys who are flaky like this and I found that their disappearances are usually down to their insecurities. This guy is most likely seeing multiple women who satisfy his ego. He will happily stay in contact with you until someone he feels is better comes along. Then when it doesn't work out with her, he bounces back to you again. By responding to his 'texts out of nowhere', you are feeding him so he will keep flaking on you. So next time he messages you, delete and ignore. Keep his number in your phone so at least you know who the messages are coming from, but prefix with 'Timewaster...'
ohso Posted February 26, 2017 Posted February 26, 2017 Ignore him. He's a player and doesn't care much about you. It's all about him. If you want some casual fun, go for it though. But it's nothing for a long term. You're just an option. Sorry.
kidm Posted February 27, 2017 Posted February 27, 2017 He is multi dating but likes to ping likely prospects to see if they will "bite." Hell, maybe he even have a girlfriend. He gets his ego boost when you reply and then disappears until the next time. He is not interested. His actions are all you need to focus on.
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