RonChalant Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 She left because I wouldn't propose. Started the year off (2017) saying that if I didn't propose this year she was going to leave. I don't like ultimatums, felt super pressured, we started arguing more. Wouldn't commit to marrying her because of sex life was boring, didn't want to go into a marriage with sex issues already. Loved her a lot, was happy just far from satisfied. We had had the sex talk multiple time and she always said she would do better, but it never stuck. I tried being romantic, asking if I was doing something wrong/not enough, nothing did the trick and I refused to willingly opt into a marriage that would end up with sex twice a month being my life. Her friends got into her head that she deserves someone who doesn't have to be forced to make a decision. Hell I even tried changing my own sexual needs multiple times over the years but all that ever did was turn me into a creeper who stared down females shirts in public every chance I got. When "communication" isn't working as far as relaying your issues, is it really my fault that I didn't want to marry into a sexually lame/inconsistent life? She was almost perfect otherwise, loved me like I'm sure no one else will ever love me again, but I couldn't get over her sexual conservative nature and lack of care for making me feel wanted as far as I was/am concerned. Am I wrong for that? I miss her already and know that she will be gone when I get home today. Need input please
spiderowl Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 Really sorry to hear it. It sounds like you two were sexually incompatible. I know sex is not the whole story in a relationship but you were withholding marriage because of it so it mattered a lot to you. Maybe the break-up will ultimately be for the best?
BC1980 Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 Neither of you are wrong. You just aren't going in the same direction, and you don't have the same goals for the relationship. She has a right to want to get married, and you have a right not to marry her. You were fine not being married, and she wasn't. That's the long and short of it. Ultimatums usually have the opposite effect. Once you have to come to an ultimatum, you have lost. I agree with her friends that she shouldn't have to be with a guy that she feels she needs to coerce into marriage. You should want to marry her freely, but, if you don't want to, you don't want to. You can't force yourself to want to marry her. I don't think any reason for a breakup is necessarily wrong. If the sex issue was a deal breaker for you, that's okay. People are not always sexually compatible, and it's sometimes a deal breaker. Sometimes, it's not a deal breaker. We all have different deal breakers. 1
oldshirt Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 She may be nice and she may be a good person, but trust that she was not right for you and was not "the one." Bad sex is the body's way of telling you that that person is not the right one. Romance/sexuality is what makes our special someone special. It is what separates our special someone from all the rest. If that is not there, that person is just another friend at best or just another face in the crowd. Additionally, when a man loves a woman and wants to be with her and wants to marry her and have a home and family with her, nothing will stop him from proposing on his own and of his own volition. His friends may tell him to throw her back. Her daddy and family may tell him to stay away. His family may tell him they will not accept her......but none of that will matter. he will still get down on one knee and ask her to be his wife. If a man has to be pressured, nagged, manipulated or given ultimatums - that already means he knows she isn't the one. You're doing the right thing. 1
chix Posted February 25, 2017 Posted February 25, 2017 I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. I hope you manage to still enjoy the Springtime unfolding nonetheless. The other posts here are great, and I support the idea that it's just incompatibility. I have made a list of 20 topics and the surrounding questions that, for me, encompass in/compatibility. Let me know if you'd like me to add it to the thread. I reckon most relationships end because of incompatibility. Incompatibility is not about any person beign awful or doing something wrong - it's simply that the 2 will never have an healthy relationship because they have no commonality in key areas.
Maldives Posted February 27, 2017 Posted February 27, 2017 I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. I hope you manage to still enjoy the Springtime unfolding nonetheless. The other posts here are great, and I support the idea that it's just incompatibility. I have made a list of 20 topics and the surrounding questions that, for me, encompass in/compatibility. Let me know if you'd like me to add it to the thread. I reckon most relationships end because of incompatibility. Incompatibility is not about any person beign awful or doing something wrong - it's simply that the 2 will never have an healthy relationship because they have no commonality in key areas. Sex is important not everything but it's gonna have a impact if ur wanting and she's not the ex wife was a lil like that I cldnt go like that again. Having SaI'd that maybe I guess u could o tried som supplements like horny goat weed or certain foods to increase her libido. This begs the question tho was she into u physically no disrespect just an observation
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