CanisMajor Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 So my "maybe" girlfriend wants a break. Brief History: The relationship would have turned to years at the end of May. The relationship was fun and i love her we hit some rough patches 6 months into the relationship....the usual fights and stuff. We used to see each other everyday when she was going to school (i was working) but then she graduated and started work so i saw each other less. That is understandable and i very much expected that. Lately we have been problems of promises/word not being kept. Inappropriate actions on her part. I don't want to sound like i am holy but i have been pretty well behaved in this relationship. If i go on into details, this will be long so i will just hit bullet points on the recent (past 3 months) issues. entertain her former bosses sexual comments for a recommendation Cancelled plans for new years eve stating she had family plans only to find out she was out of state entering the new year with "friends". i don't know this friends cancels for valentines because she is tired only to go out to have drinks with her friends. She never got me my Christmas gift even till now. She first pushed it back because she was moving in and would rather spend her money for her new place (which i understand). but she kept pushing and pushing until one day she this month she asked me what she was getting for valentines (mind you she in the span of DEC to JAN I got her a christmas gift, birthday gift, replaced her broken phone). I told her in a joking way, where is my christmas gift. She felt bad and said that honestly she just did feel comfortable spend the money $120. I have talked to her numerous thing about my observations and whether i was doing something wrong. she said no. She starts this new job that is stressing her out. Now we rarely see each other.if we are lucky we may see once a week and we are just 25 mins apart. the sex is non-existent at this point. I am beginning to feel that she really isn't in it anymore but i keep going my boyfriend duties. I prepare for the worse but hop for the best. 3 Days ago. So we finally see each other after 3 weeks. one of those week we got into a fight. She calls me around 6am in the morning because she was worried about her job, i try my best to tell her that everything will be ok...but she is barely listening to me. She then cuts me off tells me that she will talk to me later and that she needs to call her former boss. Call someone that we both agreed was interested in you and texting you all types of sexual stuff?? also you are that cool that you will call a married man at 6am?? that was one week. 2 weeks i didn't see her because she was hanging with her friends. So we are hanging out in my place, we start making out she starts giving me a blowjob but said she didnt want to have sex. I mean its been 3 weeks i would think she would be ripping my cloths off. THE BREAK: She said we needed to talk. then she told me that she needed a break for a month (How nice, a break on my birthday month lol). I asked why that we barely see each other anyways so its not like i am smothering her nor do i tell her what to do or where not to go. She says that doesn't think she can be a good girlfriend right now and she doesn't think she can make herself be one as of now. That she is just stressed. Normally i don't do breaks but i want to hear her out as long as it was stress and not that she needed time to see if she wanted to be with me, but i really am not liking what i am hearing. She said that she didn't want to feel bad about her actions when she did certain things like cancelling on me. she didn't want the responsibility or expectations of being in a relationship. I said that she was barely expected or responsible for anything. I don't place requirements of how often to call or see each other. All i required was that she keep her promise when she made on and not disrespect me or play me for a fool. She replied that for her her sense of a relationship was spending time together and doing things together and that since that wasn't happening (She takes responsibility for that) that she would rather not be in a relationship for now. That right now her job is the most important thing to her. With my doubts that she is not really telling me the whole truth (It is a pattern with her). I don't want to argue so i like ask her whether after this month of break this issue with be nipped in the butt. She said she was sure and that i should pray for her (-_-)...then it was maybe, then it was yes. She was getting annoyed and i told her that she should consider that i am going to have to wait for her and i don't know what will happen during that time and who knows she may like her new situation tell me that she will not be getting back together and i hope she understands that i would have questions. She states again that this is what she is doing and that i could either understand or i could not but she is doing it. Then she asked me to rub her back, i told her i was leaving that i couldn't do stuff like that as that is something reserved for someone in a relationship with me. She replies that even i a relationship i didn't do it lol. I got up and left. Emotional i am fine people, i am just here to ask if i should be handling things a different way. Should i have been more understanding of her stress or i am being stupid. Thanks!
mightycpa Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 You're being stupid. You asked. This girl doesn't like you as much as you'd like her to, that much is clear. You're wasting your time. Everybody who replies will tell you that. It's so obvious. Give her the heave-ho, for good. It will be empowering! 1
basil67 Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 Ditch her. Don't ever wait for someone who doesn't know if they want to be with you or not.
Alpha_Male Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 She doesn't love you at all. Real couple dint act like this. call her Say good bye And straight goes nc I have this kind of experience too with my previous ex
ExpatInItaly Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 This girl is barely into you. Forget her. You're completely wasting your time. Next!
keiji Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 I'm afraid I can't be more positive than previous posters. Every time she feels like going out with her friends instead of you her first option is lying? Do you really want to be with someone you can't trust? She doesn't love you or in case she does, it's a very selfish and weird kind of love. You should move on.
Grathblagg Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 (edited) You're Plan B. Plan A is either an existing relationship, a relationship that she's working on, or shopping herself out for a new relationship. Look at what Alpha_Male said, and do it: call her Say good bye And straight goes nc Her "stress" is a bunch of bull. You could be her stress reliever. Instead, she relieves her "stress" with others. Right now, she's got you buying her presents, allowing you to come over any time that she wants, for anything that she wants, and emotionally attached to her. In return, you get the occasional blowjob. This is exactly where she wants you. The monkey doesn't let loose of one vine before she's grabbed on to another. If you do what Alpha_Male said, you'll front load the pain, getting it over quickly and sharply, instead of dragging the dull pain out for weeks or months while she shops around, and/or sleeps with other(s). There's someone out there for you, someone who will love you and give 100 percent to the relationship, as you will for her. This one, not so much. If you call to say "goodbye", be ready for anything, but do not be fooled, her actions have shown you more than anything that she's going to say on the phone to keep you hanging. You may not even want to say "goodbye", just show her what you think of her behavior by going no contact and skipping the call. After all, she's disrespected you enough already, that even a call to say "goodbye" is more than she deserves, and she should know that... you should know that too. Edited February 24, 2017 by Grathblagg
Author CanisMajor Posted February 24, 2017 Author Posted February 24, 2017 Thanks people, i am doing as you say. I called and told her that i won't be continuing with the relationship. She tried to guilt trip me but i just hung up because if i listen to it i will just feel bad. I have learnt a re-enforcing lesson. I'm a nice guys but i am not that romantics and **** (not saying i am stone cold). I let her know this before the relationship started and she was fine with it. i few months in she starts complaining that i am not romantic (shocker), that used to be her problem with me but i choose to against my better judgement change for her, i got better at doing things she wanted (even she admits it). The point is, it was a waste of time and effort. All i need to do now is maintain my resolve (that's my weakness) 1
Grathblagg Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 Thanks people, i am doing as you say. I called and told her that i won't be continuing with the relationship. She tried to guilt trip me but i just hung up because if i listen to it i will just feel bad. I have learnt a re-enforcing lesson. I'm a nice guys but i am not that romantics and **** (not saying i am stone cold). I let her know this before the relationship started and she was fine with it. i few months in she starts complaining that i am not romantic (shocker), that used to be her problem with me but i choose to against my better judgement change for her, i got better at doing things she wanted (even she admits it). The point is, it was a waste of time and effort. All i need to do now is maintain my resolve (that's my weakness) It's most peoples' weakness. Your weakness only hurts you. Every minute that you spend investing in a snake oil relationship is another minute spent not working on yourself and moving on to more fulfilling relationships. You have everything within you to do anything that you need to do. Just do it.
fromheart Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 Your history, should have dumped her then. 3 days ago, should definitely have dumped her then. Now, I'm not sure what else she has to do for you to dump her. She doesn't spend any special days of the year with you, including your birthday, and is most probably sleeping with someone else. Please MAN UP for your own sake!!!
Author CanisMajor Posted April 2, 2017 Author Posted April 2, 2017 Update: Thanks for the advise guys. Well i gathered it been a little bit now. After my last post, i did give her a week then i called her. I told her that i had a few thing to say. I told her that at the point of the call, i would not be considering getting back together even if she wanted to. For some reason she wanted to do a 180 and blame it on me saying things like "this is what i always wanted". I stood my ground, she said she would like me to say it to her face so she knows its real. We met and i said what i said to her again. I am doing fine and have decided to stay away from relationships for an extended period and be happy again being by myself. Thanks guys!
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