Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 Just curious about your opinions. I met my ex online and we started a long distance after we met up. He was always lacking in communication, but got better when I asked him for a little more. Shortly after coming to visit, I could tell something was off. When I would leave him after a visit, he would go on for days about how much he enjoyed his time, how much he missed me etc. That time though, I was very easily forgotten. I got super insecure after he told me he couldn't give me what I wanted, I deserved a better established guy etc. I asked him outright if he wanted to break up and he said no. A couple weeks after his departure, the communication went down to a significant level and it was something we were stuck on for a week or 2. I found out he had been unhappy in the relationship and wanted to be single, he told me he still loves me, but lost the connection, something that has happened before in 1/2 of his relationships. Did insecurity kill the relationship or did he never care for me that much? Btw we never had sex, so that's not the motive.
preraph Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 Maybe he was disappointed because you never had sex. I mean, guys don't usually hang around long and especially long distance if it's not going anywhere sexually. I'm not saying you should have rushed yourself, but I am saying it could be a reason for him.
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted February 23, 2017 Author Posted February 23, 2017 Maybe he was disappointed because you never had sex. I mean, guys don't usually hang around long and especially long distance if it's not going anywhere sexually. I'm not saying you should have rushed yourself, but I am saying it could be a reason for him. We were both on the same page about sex....
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 It's never easy when one person in the relationship is insecure. The other partner feels like they can't do anything to fix it & if they are giving their all get resentful that it's not enough. Based on what you posted -- which is all we have -- we don't have enough info to tell you why this relationship didn't last. LDRs are tough to begin with. If you had certain expectations about communication & your partner couldn't meet them he probably did the right thing in bailing. It's not so much that one of you -- especially you -- was wrong as much as that you were not a good match for each other.
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted February 24, 2017 Author Posted February 24, 2017 It's never easy when one person in the relationship is insecure. The other partner feels like they can't do anything to fix it & if they are giving their all get resentful that it's not enough. Based on what you posted -- which is all we have -- we don't have enough info to tell you why this relationship didn't last. LDRs are tough to begin with. If you had certain expectations about communication & your partner couldn't meet them he probably did the right thing in bailing. It's not so much that one of you -- especially you -- was wrong as much as that you were not a good match for each other. He did tell me he lost the connection to me, something that has happened w/past relationships and he doesn't know why.
SevenCity Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 He did tell me he lost the connection to me, something that has happened w/past relationships and he doesn't know why. Past behavior is usually a good indicator of future trends. I would not blame yourself. This is likely his issue, not yours. 1
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted February 24, 2017 Author Posted February 24, 2017 Past behavior is usually a good indicator of future trends. I would not blame yourself. This is likely his issue, not yours. I wish he had told me before, I wouldn't be in this heartache had he been upfront.
d0nnivain Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 He did tell me he lost the connection to me, something that has happened w/past relationships and he doesn't know why. You have to take him at his word that this happens to HIM. It's more about him then you. 1
SevenCity Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 I wish he had told me before, I wouldn't be in this heartache had he been upfront. Yea it sucks. Usually you don't find out what someone is really like until the RL is over. Sorry you are going through this - but you've come to the right place
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted February 24, 2017 Author Posted February 24, 2017 Yea it sucks. Usually you don't find out what someone is really like until the RL is over. Sorry you are going through this - but you've come to the right place Some days are better then others, it makes me feel a bit worthless. I know I shouldn't seek validation from men, but I was completely content being single before I met him. Earlier this week I met another guy totally by accident and its going well after our 1st date.
preraph Posted February 24, 2017 Posted February 24, 2017 Yeah, seeking validation from men is a losing proposition. Even when they think they're trying to be good to you, sometimes the little slights are hurtful. It's his issue, so don't take it personal. He is a mess.
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