Struggling most with the rejected feeling of being dumped

[Heartbrokenandhurt]

I feel like a failure at the moment because I feel I didn't have the ability to gain the love of the guy I love. And its the worst feeling in the world.

 

He pursued me, I wasn't sure to begin with and wanted to take it slowly... eventually I thought it was ok to feel. (I've had numerous bad experiences with men and dating in the past and have experienced the same heartbreak as now for the same reasons but different guy before)

 

It seems that as I started to fall in love, he started to pull away more and change... he wasn't putting in as much effort as before and stopped communicating his feelings (when in the first few months he was SO into me and showed it) I thought this may be because we were now in a relationship and he didn't feel he had to 'win' me over anymore. Anyway this caused me to become insecure and actually pull away more myself in the hope it would make him come back.

 

After 6 months, things came to ahead when I was getting fed up and stressed of not knowing how he felt anymore, this in turn was making me feel abit resentful and I was causing arguments. He broke up with me saying 'his feelings had changed' but he still 'likes me as a person' and wanted to stay friendly.

 

Its been over a month and I highly doubt he will be coming back to me. Apart from a few meaningless texts theres been nothing and we've been no contact for weeks. He is aware im not wanting to be on Friends terms. Im completely heartbroken and going through all the motions of being ok one day to feeling like i've lost the will to live the next and even thinking how it would be easier to die... (although im not suicidal, im just in so much emotional pain!)

 

I think about him and whats happened constantly... but the worst of it is the rejection im feeling. I keep thinking about what it was that put him off. Anaylising to the max. How it could start so promising and go so wrong? In his eyes, its 'just how relationships go sometimes' but im beating myself up that he didn't even want to try. Try to bring these feelings back or talk to me about it before dumping me. Im feeling a total failure that I couldn't keep this guys interest. His family all thought I was lovely!

 

Im worried its going to ruin this year for me... last time I felt this way with my first bout of heartbreak it took at least a year.

 

For now im staying NC and i've deleted him from facebook (which he was not happy about as he wanted to stay friendly) but everyday is a struggle. I don't really know what the point of this post really is... I guess I'd like advice on what to do to help myself at this point and opinions on the situation.. to know im not the only one whos been here, on the worst side of unrequited love.

[Miss Spider]

I don't really have anything to say that will make it better for you (obviously). But I just want you to know I understand how you feel and my heart goes out to you. I hope you heal soon stick to nc

[Maldives]

Ye same here man lov can really suc

[marky00]

2 years later, I still feel your pain. It sucks. Nothing else to say.

[basil67]

I think a lot of your confusion and hurt is there because you've handed over your power. If you're in a relationship and your partner isn't equally into it and discussion doesn't fix it, you leave.

 

Dont ever forget that you are your own master and the decision maker about what is part of your life,