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Should I cancel this date over lack of contact?

damni

By damni
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damni Established Member

damni

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I posted on this forum before http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/611185-texting-but-not-asked-me-out-again-6th-date

What happened is I ended it with this guy only for him come back to say he did like me, was not seeing anyone else etc. We went on two more dates before he ended it with me, saying he felt something was missing.

 

I now been dating this new guy for 4 weeks, we have a 6th date friday but I am very tempted to cancel. I feel I may be ANOTHER 'miss right now girl' since the start he has only texted me to confirm dates. With this guy we have moved much slower, we had our first kiss on our 5th date for example. I told him on our 5th date I like more contact between dates...I suppose there has been a bit more texting but not much and what makes this worse is knowing he is always online on whatsapp, so its like your talking to other people so why cant you bother to send me a text asking after me??

 

What makes this more complicated is this guy is working in the same field I want to end up in and we may eventually cross paths in the future career wise. I do not want to be the girl he dumped you know.

 

Should I end it now? go on the date tomorrow and let it fizzle out? I feel his level of interaction at this stage is a bad sign.

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
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I think you should. This early on and the communication from him is sparse indicates a low level of interest particularly after you told him it was adequate for you. He's not changing.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

I agree to cancel. If he hasn't shown more interest in you than this why bother. It would seem he'd want to talk to you if he really was into you. He is probably dating others as well.

  • Like 2
Miss Peach Established Member

Miss Peach

Posted
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Are you thinking of cancelling because the communication is slowing down? Or something else?

 

Even though it's usually a bad sign I'll offer the contrarian position. My XBF was very slow moving at the beginning and only called me for dates with no communication in between. He was very into me (and even wanted to get married by the end of our first year). The thing is, that's likely not to improve. My XBF never stepped up his communication between dates the entire time. Even if he is into you, that's not likely to change.

 

Now if he was very hot and it's cooled off, then I would say it's a bad sign.

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damni Established Member

damni

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Are you thinking of cancelling because the communication is slowing down? Or something else?

 

Even though it's usually a bad sign I'll offer the contrarian position. My XBF was very slow moving at the beginning and only called me for dates with no communication in between. He was very into me (and even wanted to get married by the end of our first year). The thing is, that's likely not to improve. My XBF never stepped up his communication between dates the entire time. Even if he is into you, that's not likely to change.

 

Now if he was very hot and it's cooled off, then I would say it's a bad sign.

 

I think your situation is unique and most people would want be in touch with people they are dating. I have texted him now, telling him we want different things. As time goes on I am feeling insecure and I dont want that...

 

The day I do not have post about someone on an forum, is the day I know I met someone right :laugh:

  • Like 5
coolheadal Established Member

coolheadal

Posted
Posted
I posted on this forum before http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/611185-texting-but-not-asked-me-out-again-6th-date

What happened is I ended it with this guy only for him come back to say he did like me, was not seeing anyone else etc. We went on two more dates before he ended it with me, saying he felt something was missing.

 

I now been dating this new guy for 4 weeks, we have a 6th date friday but I am very tempted to cancel. I feel I may be ANOTHER 'miss right now girl' since the start he has only texted me to confirm dates. With this guy we have moved much slower, we had our first kiss on our 5th date for example. I told him on our 5th date I like more contact between dates...I suppose there has been a bit more texting but not much and what makes this worse is knowing he is always online on whatsapp, so its like your talking to other people so why cant you bother to send me a text asking after me??

 

What makes this more complicated is this guy is working in the same field I want to end up in and we may eventually cross paths in the future career wise. I do not want to be the girl he dumped you know.

 

Should I end it now? go on the date tomorrow and let it fizzle out? I feel his level of interaction at this stage is a bad sign.

 

Sounds like he's following a gentleman Technic using text to setup the dates. That's normal, Calling on the phone is just small talk at best. If you want more you need to convey this to this new guy. Go on the date and see what happens but let him know he can text more to you than just to setup future dates it's okay with you to do so..

TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted
Sounds like he's following a gentleman Technic using text to setup the dates. That's normal, Calling on the phone is just small talk at best. If you want more you need to convey this to this new guy. Go on the date and see what happens but let him know he can text more to you than just to setup future dates it's okay with you to do so..

 

He's following a playbook.

 

She already conveyed this, but the guy is still following the rules of minimal contact and setting dates. This is an easy example where he hasn't learned the "rulebook" fully.

 

I personally wouldn't go on the date. I would end it

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damni Established Member

damni

Posted
  • Author
Posted
He's following a playbook.

 

She already conveyed this, but the guy is still following the rules of minimal contact and setting dates. This is an easy example where he hasn't learned the "rulebook" fully.

 

I personally wouldn't go on the date. I would end it

 

Well pretty sad if he is following a playbook. I might have let things run a bit longer if I did not know he was online sooo much.

 

Well I did end it last night and I think he blocked me as he has not read my message or been online on whatsapp since.

Cjaxrun85 Member

Cjaxrun85

Posted
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I'm kind of going through the same thing with a girl that I've been dating for a month. He's probably talking to other girls just like the girl I've been dating probably has come across another guy she likes more.

TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted

 

Well I did end it last night and I think he blocked me as he has not read my message or been online on whatsapp since.

 

You have your answer

TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted
I'm kind of going through the same thing with a girl that I've been dating for a month. He's probably talking to other girls just like the girl I've been dating probably has come across another guy she likes more.

 

Nope.

 

The OP had kissing, probably holding hands, making out, touching, and had sex.

 

You? You had 8 platonic dates.

 

And yes in your situation she's definitely talking to other guys via online

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