Mkn1010 Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 (edited) So a New Year's Resolution of mine was to give up OLD. I previously had a Bumble profile so I deleted that and have been living life date free since. The thing is, I ran into a guy recently (I've actually seen him 3 times) on my street that I matched with last year and went on a date with in September 2016. I didn't speak to him when I saw him in the street as he was with company each time (other men), and he was seated and I was just walking by, but we smiled at one another. Over the weekend my sis re-installed the Bumble app on my phone and her and our housemate were playing on it on my behalf. And they matched with the above guy. I laughed and then thought I would message him on the app (girls can only talk first on this app, guys can't initiate). So I said hey and made a joke about how we'd seen each a bit on our street. He replied saying it was really nice to match with me again and he also said he had a great night back in Sept on our date and that he still had my number. He then resumed talking to me via text on my number that he still had saved. However, the thing is, after our Sept date, neither of us contacted the other again. The date was nice, he was really funny but he was talking about how love is really a hard thing to find and how you cant search for it. At the time, I perceived that to mean that he wasn't on the app looking for love as that would be a false economy, and I therefore assumed he maybe wanted something casual. At the end of the date, we were outside on a very busy street and I was waiting for my Uber to arrive and he randomly planted a kiss on me but I kind of froze as I was just surprised and I had to quickly leave as my Uber arrived. So my goodbye definitely didn't scream 'interested'. So I don't know if that's really why he didn't follow up after our date. So in the present, we texted a bit over that weekend and as we both recently turned thirty (and joked about that) he said that we'd talk more about tips to avoid our age crisis when we meet in person. I said "that sounds good, I need all the tips I can get". He mentioned getting coffee this week on our street since we both work so close by and I agreed. However, I now have not heard from him, and it's Thursday (that convo was on Sunday)! I deleted the dating app again and so he may be under the assumption that I deleted him on there...I don't know. And I'm not sure if I have given him much of an interested vibe particularly after the Sept date so he could possible be apprehensive about being rejected. BUT MORE LIKELY he is not that keen! What do you guys think? Do I text him to follow up on the coffee catch-up or just wait it out and forget about it? This may seem like a no-brainer but I'm just so over the OLD disappointments that I don't even know how the game works and never have to be honest! Edited February 22, 2017 by Mkn1010
Miss Spider Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 (edited) My experience has taught me that when a guy is really into me I don't have doubts or have to read into every little thing and how he may have have interpreted my little actions. This is because there are HUGE neon signs saying he's totally digging me. It's only when they're meh about me and I get "mixed messages" and have to ask myself if something small put him off. It wouldn't. Sure, follow up, it may put your doubts to rest then or later on but he doesn't seem all that interested. Oh and "I'm looking for love, when it happens it happens" is just a cliche phrase people use. It does imply the person has a more casual stance towards dating, but I wouldn't take that to mean anything, really. Edited February 22, 2017 by Cookiesandough 5
Sara1989 Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 So you have not set a date and time? hmm I ask that as some guys set up dates then there is no contact until a day or two before the actual date to confirm. If he has not even set a day and just faded....yes forget him!!
preraph Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 I think since you deleted the app, in this case I would just touch base with him and say, "Hi. When's good for coffee?"
Larryville Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 when a guy is really into me I don't have doubts or have to read into every little thing and how he may have have interpreted my little actions. This is because there are HUGE neon signs saying he's totally digging me. Cookie this is probable the absolute strangest thing that I read on this site, how some women are absolutely and completely incapable of truly getting whether or not a guys is sincere in his GENUINE interest. I always wonder why that is? Low self-esteem, poor human interaction skills, low EQ, fear. 2
coolheadal Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 Way to much into this. What do you really want? If you want this guy you can chase after him today most women would chase and most men too. Norm is change we men will do anything we want to do, just like the women do. I say if they want to be with you they're going to do whatever it takes to be with you. You on the other hand might not feel the same way. Depends on this guy what type he is and what he wants. The Bumblebee app you removed it as you get bored with it as most do. You can text this guy say hi and then say what are you plans for tonight? Want to grab coffee and sandwich? You can be direct or let him lead? If he's not a leader then you will decide and make the choices.
Author Mkn1010 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Posted February 23, 2017 Hey guys, thanks all for your input! I don't necessarily agree with the point of view that men will make their interest glaringly obvious and always do what it takes to go after someone they want etc, it's a TWO WAY STREET! I believe many men would apply the same very advice above to their own situation and deem the woman uninterested. So how exactly do we move forward in dating if both parties (especially women) expect a certain hardcore courting process. Some people are just more subtle or easily discouraged, I am one of such people. Another point is that men who pursue ardently are often d-bags/a-holes/narcissists in my opinion. It's often the shy guy, who will be easily perturbed by a women who is not readily expressive about her interest, that will be the kindest and best matched with my personality, I think. But in this case, I decided to leave it. As I'm not currently looking to put myself out there until my mindset is a little clearer!!
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