SSun Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 During my 7 year relationship with my ex fiancé I grew attached to his daughter, and she to me, despite an initially bumpy start. My ex has full custody of his daughter so she was a constant presence in our relationship as she lived with him. She was extremely distressed by my engagement to her dad at first and we had to halt the wedding and enter family therapy. Eventually she warmed up to me but by then I'd realized that me and her dad weren't going to work for reasons unrelated to her. The last time I saw her (I was at my ex's house, she gave me the biggest hug and thanked me for not leaving her. or giving up on her. Not long after that, me and her dad broke up. I sometimes look at her videos on social media and I can't believe how much she's grown. I also am a little bothered by some of her posts which are occasionally suicidal and extremely sad in nature. I struggle with knowing about these posts because I am no longer in her father's life and shouldn't even know what is happening in her life. However, I do and am concerned about her. I desire no interaction with her father, who recently contacted me after a year of me not contacting him. That said, I also am not sure what to do with the information. Does anyone have any idea how I can help her? Am I overstepping boundaries? 1
darkmoon Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 (edited) she needs a doctor, medication, maybe anyway, tell them both the same things at the same time, same words, and then see who replies, duty calls Edited February 22, 2017 by darkmoon
Sweetfish Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 During my 7 year relationship with my ex fiancé I grew attached to his daughter, and she to me, despite an initially bumpy start. My ex has full custody of his daughter so she was a constant presence in our relationship as she lived with him. She was extremely distressed by my engagement to her dad at first and we had to halt the wedding and enter family therapy. Eventually she warmed up to me but by then I'd realized that me and her dad weren't going to work for reasons unrelated to her. The last time I saw her (I was at my ex's house, she gave me the biggest hug and thanked me for not leaving her. or giving up on her. Not long after that, me and her dad broke up. I sometimes look at her videos on social media and I can't believe how much she's grown. I also am a little bothered by some of her posts which are occasionally suicidal and extremely sad in nature. I struggle with knowing about these posts because I am no longer in her father's life and shouldn't even know what is happening in her life. However, I do and am concerned about her. I desire no interaction with her father, who recently contacted me after a year of me not contacting him. That said, I also am not sure what to do with the information. Does anyone have any idea how I can help her? Am I overstepping boundaries? Working once for the suicide hotline ... its less of a chance for a person to commit suicide if they announce it publicly... however any hint that you or you think someone is thinking about suicide they need to seek attention quickly. I would break no contact for this one time and go back to no contact. If something does happen by a SLIGHT chance.. I don't think you could sleep comfortably every night knowing you could have done something. I would let him know and clearly state why you are contacting him and this is no way a way to get back with him. If she is still young, at least she may start getting guidance NOW before she takes it on into adult hood. this is my advise 2
Abhainn Posted February 23, 2017 Posted February 23, 2017 I think it is up to you to decide if you feel like you can intervene at all. If you feel like you have the strength, than I definitely would. There are a number of things you can do. Though perhaps a lot of people wouldn't think to do this for someone else, the national suicide prevention lifeline takes calls from people who are concerned, not about their own suicidal feelings, but someone else's. They will likely have suggestions for talking with her, or depending on the circumstances, may want to get in touch with her themselves. Or if you think she would, and would be amenable to it, you could always give her their number, so that she could call for herself. I think people often are scared to call the line. They don't know what to expect, but the people behind those phones are highly trained, and often the people who are feeling suicidal have ambivalence, have things that they do want to live for that they just can't see, and they need people who won't freak out on them when they admit their suicidal feelings, who will sit with them and listen closely and work to understand their pain, while also drawing out their ambivalence and the things that they do value enough to live for. the people behind the phones are trained for this, and also are sensitive to how scary it can be to call. I hope that at the least, you will consider calling to ask about her and how best to help her and they will talk with you about the situation, how much you feel you can do to help given your circumstances, and make the best recommendations to ensure that she gets the help she needs! I hope this helps a little! The number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. I do encourage you to call!
Recommended Posts