SadBabyGirl Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Its been about 15 months since my ex dumped me. The last time he emailed me was July 2004. Ever since then not a peep, call or email or Im. Nada. Its as if he forgot me completely. Must have moved on, dont know. Ok here is my story... I met this man around Oct of 2002. I saw him, it was love at first site and I did Everything to try to get him to fall in love with me back. And Happy me, in November he was all mine. We moved in together around april 2003. I moved cross country, leaving all of my life behind to be with him. We were very happy, he wanted to marry me, however one of the problems were that I had already married in the past and we were still mutual friends , not lovers, it was more of one of those marriages thats a tit for a tat u know, he was taking care of me financially and i was helping him. When I met the new bf I was already married which I had to tell him... and in the beginning stage of the relationship everything was euphoric and blissful, I thought i met my soulmate and he kept talking about marriage. So that summer he sends me back to california to get a legal divorce from my ex so that we could get married. I found out my bf was on a student visa from another country and was only here a limited time so I naturally felt stressed and wanted to divorce asap so i could marry him so i didnt risk losing him. Boy what times. I went back to him in Dec 2004 around Christmas. We spent the holidays together, everything was happy, blissful again and then we started to hit road blocks. He was overworking, coming home late and acting cranky... started nit picking me' trying to change me; telling me what clothes and makeup to wear...sometimes would go to his "cousins" at night to watch movies and smoke hookah with them for a few hours and come back with a sad puppy dog look on his face as if he felt guilty or Missed me--which at the time I thought he missed me. When we were together sex wise and romantic it was amazing. But other times he bitched and nagged at me like he was my dad or an old man. With that said he had good qualities too. I just always had a gut feeling he was cheating on me or that one day it was gonna end with some sorta bombshell or bang. IF u KNOW what i mean. Like just Poof! Anyhow around Spring break he sends me home to california to "visit my family", he was crying in the airport... I felt something was "up" so I wasnt kissing or being affectionate at that point I was like I dont like this idea too much but u better get ur ass here jokingly. he said if everything works out financially hes gonna come here n marry me. So i come home. 2 weeks later he calls me crying Im goin back to my country now. The INS found me working illegally. Somebody snitched on me and I have less then 2 weeks to get out of here. I was so so shocked and upset, I Cursed at him trying to get him to come here to marry me asap to save his ass and our relationship. He got upset and said it wouldnt work coz i was having a divorce pending. So then he sends back all my stuff and all of the sudden out of nowhere starts NC. I thought he was really gone i kept emailing and emailing. I tried calling his family, psychics, god knows. Everyone said he was gone. A month later in agony I called his workplace out of desperation and his boss said HE NEVER LEFT!!!! The son of a bitch made the whole story up! He was buying pimp **** on ebay for a new sports car, colognes even a girls perfume. I was about to have a heart attack. I stopped eating, sleeping.. I didnt Undertand at ALL. I am very nurturing... I took care of him, cooked, cleaned, amazing sex and I am very exotic and beautiful in a model way,, yet Humble about it (i have low self esteem during those god awful pms days so I did whine a lot to him about being ugly). He had those endless love letters and greeting cards in bunches he sent to me... it seemed so perfect. BUT! So after a year of somehow mourning I came to a conclusion that his loss is my gain. He should have been on his KNEES emailing me and calling like a pathetic crazy ass like I did him begging for me back. He lost something so good. After a year of hell I moved on and met an incredible man. He loves me, head to toe worships me, we are compatible in every way and his family loves me. He asked me what my ring size was! He doesnt buy me random gifts and act all fatherly with me, he acts like a real husband. My ex NEVER brought up engagement or bought me ring. He got me fancy clothes, makeup, paid for college even gave me his credit card after he broke up with me (guilty consience perhaps)? But he didnt love me for "me", I was his doll. His bed warmer. The girl he didnt respect or love anymore. In conclusion to this story: This story came back to me the other night in a dream. I dreamed up being back at my ex's house, looking for his father, I searched the neighborhood looking for my ex and his dad but everyone said they had moved out. A week after having the dream i keep thinking about his ass. Not in a good way but in an angry way, like I need to get something said to him before I can get married. Should I send him a postal mail and let everything out? I know email wont work, i tried on yahoo messenger and he just logged out and no reply. I want to mail him a postal letter and chew his ass out and let him know what he did to me last year-- and about how now 15 months later im on top of the world and happy again and He didnt deserve me. Should this be a Yay or a Nay! Let me know ppl! Thanks !!!!!!!! for reading my longgg story lol.
Naive Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 I think you should just leave it alone!!!! You are going to get married soon and that is just going to mess you up. I say you just leave it alone, but that's just MY opinion.
lindya Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 The only thing to do is the old write it all down in a letter that never gets sent thing. Believe me - I can be pretty impulsive, so I've sent one or two angry emails in my time. The moment you've hit that send button, you get a horrible sick feeling in your stomach. With good reason. Getting it all down on paper will help you sort out your thoughts and feelings about all of this, then you can do whatever you want with that letter...as long as you don't actually send it. Burn it, put the ashes in a casket and bury it if you need to mark the occasion with a bit of ceremony. Whatever you do, don't let this man know what's going on in your head and heart. You don't need him to see how badly this has affected you, and the absence of contact has also proved that he doesn't want to know. Send a letter or email, and he'll just chalk it up as one more example of a "pscho female" who's dying of love for him. In view of the way he's behaved, that's completely unfair - I know, but nonetheless that's almost certainly what he'll do. So chin up, girl. I would try to comfort you by saying "he'll get his" - but judging from his behaviour, his life has probably been marred by unpleasantness. People don't turn out as oddly as that if they've had happy lives, after all.
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