Chilli Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Just wondering. Do you ever try to find out why she was interested but then just disappeared , or un'uncontacted you on the date site or stopped texting ? Met a girl a few wks ago , we had some very unusual hard to find things in common and thoughts , talked a few hours, we were looking forward to meeting , but she was really busy with working all odd hours and had her kids a lot of the time too. Still , she actually called me , she enjoyed our call, suggested if l call again in a few days but text for the best time. Wham mo , gone ! She also un contacted me on the date site l'd met her on . Last l spoke to her was text, l text her asking if she'd still like to talk more when would be a good time. She got back to me straight away and apologized , thanked me for being patient and she'll text me through the wk for a the best time. Nothing , andddd , un contacted, l mean wtf ? Not only did we talk really well and l really liked her and she seemed just as smitten but things we had in common were very unusual hard to find stuff. Yet , gone . l feel like texting her and just asking - wth went wrong , you know . Do you ever go ahead and try to find out ?
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 I've seen this sort of question on here before. Honestly, I wouldn't ask her. That would sound desperate. Just don't do it. The thing is, it will be one of these, probably: 1. She'll tell you the truth and it will be something specifically about you and it will hurt. (i.e. "I'm not physically attracted to you" or some other-such.) 2. She'll tell you the truth about something that isn't about you and it will hurt. (i.e. "I met someone I really like a lot and I want to just be with him.") 3. She'll make some ridiculousness up and you'll never know the truth anyway. ("I'm at a weird place in my life." "I'm just sooo busy with work...") 4. She'll put you off, which will only extend your confusion and feeling of being up in the air. ("I feel like I'll be busy for the next four weeks or so..." Then on Day 29 you text her in desperation...) That's why I just don't believe in asking. No matter what, you'll either get a lie, or a truth that will hurt no matter how it's worded. The bottom line is that she moved on. So, you move on too. 2
ElizabethIII Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 I used to ask guys why. Not anymore.I just leave them be. I wouldnt add insult to injury by asking them and acting like I care. 1
Miss Spider Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Please don't subject yourself to that indignity. It's cringey and desperate. If she's ghosted, she's not feeling it. You'll probably feel embarrassed if you ask if she keeps ignoring or gives you some vague excuse like "we're just not a match". You're very unlikely hear the truth ( you're not attractive enough, you're dull, weird, found someone more interesting etc.) and what good does that do anyway. Onward. 2
hercules22 Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 better off not knowing these days . silent treatment the worst lol
Scarlett.O'hara Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Didn't your last thread say you got back with your ex? If that is the case (and you are happy?), then why would you want to contact another woman to find out why she isn't interested in you? Is it just an ego thing? You said this woman had been on a dating site for years and hardly met anyone. That is her pattern and should have been a warning sign for you. She rules guys out quickly and moves on. She isn't that invested in the process. You were just one on many that were screened out. If you value your current relationship you should probably let this go. 1
CloudyHead Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 I think that there are many married people on OLD sites so they have no interest in actually meeting someone. I think that there are both married and single people on OLD sites who just like the "thrill" of making contact with someone, see if they can generate an interest from someone but have absolutely no intention of meeting someone. Like fishing - there's the thrill of hooking and catching then the release.
coolheadal Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 This has happen to me and just have to learn from experience. Women will do and say whatever they want you just can't justified their actions. Sure they could lie to you and tell you some made up reason they do not want to see you ever again. To me they lost interest. They might want to get out of the relationship. Tell you they're not ready for any relationship right now. You can do better than her. You are sweet guy. Another thing is that say they contact you and you don't get back with them right away they will take it as no and decide it's the end of the relationship an say it's done. Then you might want to try to convince them otherwise this is where most men loose it. They don't want the relationship to end. So try text to death until the girl might threaten you with the police. If you push it enough. So then that is the time to just quit text them for good. Move on and forget block and do NC = No contact. 2
GoldSparkz Posted February 22, 2017 Posted February 22, 2017 It wouldn't matter to me if someone loses interest as it simply means I'm not their cup of tea. Even if I did ask the reason, they most likely wouldn't tell me the truth as it may be hurtful to hear e.g. my nose was too big, too muscular, I spit when I'm talking...obviously these are just examples...they don't apply to me
Author Chilli Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 (edited) Nah can't meet her now it's not that, bc yeah l'm back with gf anyway, it's just sooooo bizarre, the curiosity. She rings, we talk hours, asks me to call again, talks about meeting, disappears, huhhh ! She said she'd been on there and alone 8yrs and she def' wasn't the screwing around type but yeah had met 3 guys. Matter of fact l suspected she runs as soon as someone shows a bit too much interest. She told me a bit about her divorce and marriage and she'd been hurt real bad and on her own ever since. Anyway, alas, l've deleted her number after hearing these and thanks for those people, you've saved me from myself But, l'll never knowwwww. Damn. Edited February 22, 2017 by Chilli
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