Jadedbyluv Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 The last few weeks have been a real struggle for me. I have been through break ups but something about this just feels different. I think because the relationship was mostly good, I keep trying to figure out what really went wrong. And part of the struggle is that I still have been in regular contact with my ex. We have even gone out a few times, spending entire days together and did have sex once. I know by doing this it is just prolonging the healing process. When we do spend time together, it feels like nothing has changed. The connection is still there, and the love and respect is still there. It is obvious we care for each other. When we part ways, I get melancholy because I keep questioning why things really ended in the first place. I know going no contact is the only way for me to move forward. I need to grieve the end of our relationship but I struggle. What I loved most about our relationship is that we had also built this solid friendship with each other. We were friends and lovers. It is one thing to grieve the end of the romantic relationship but it is also hard to let go of that friendship we developed. I don't want to lose that friendship. I don't want to become friendly strangers. And I guess by going no contact, it might be hard to preserve that friendship. I am scared it will be lost.
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 NC is not a one size fits all remedy but it is the most common & most effective. You need to think about what the friendship really means though. It will never be the same. You can't share everything. Do you really want a front row seat to his next relationship? Do you think that either of you will have new SOs who are OK with you two being in contact? You broke up. Things change. Change is scary. You don't have to go completely NC but you do realize that hanging on just delays healing.
Author Jadedbyluv Posted February 22, 2017 Author Posted February 22, 2017 NC is not a one size fits all remedy but it is the most common & most effective. You need to think about what the friendship really means though. It will never be the same. You can't share everything. Do you really want a front row seat to his next relationship? Do you think that either of you will have new SOs who are OK with you two being in contact? You broke up. Things change. Change is scary. You don't have to go completely NC but you do realize that hanging on just delays healing. Change is super scary. And I absolutely don't want a front row seat to his next relationship. It's thought enough as it is. I'm just struggling with navigating this situation. It's not like other break ups. We have a lot of respect and admiration for each other. It's just that he can't commit. He's 46 and never been married and likes his independence.
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