TheCompletePackage Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Not sure where to start. I've lurked here on and off for months -- funny how I cycle through phases of accepting the way things are and then periods of being desperate to make a change. The last few days I've been feeling very low... the kind of low where I just want to sit on the floor of the shower and let the steaming water pour over me and carry away my tears. I'm at a loss for words because I've read so much on this forum and everything has been said before. I laugh, I cry, I get pissed off, I shake my head in disbelief -- so much of what I read here tells my own story in bits and pieces. I feel isolated because my family and friends don't know that I've been involved with a MM for over a year now. From the outside I appear to be a woman who is happy being single and not interested in dating, and I feel like such a fraud. I wonder if I will ever find a way out of this. And even if I do, my perception of love and marriage has been permanently altered; how can I ever enter into a committed relationship after what this has taught me about human behavior? There are two ways I can see this affair ending: 1. his wife gets pregnant and I leave him 2. his wife finds out and he leaves me I sometimes have idle fantasies about being careless enough to let his wife find out, but I know that these thoughts are 100% fueled by my jealousy of her and what she has... the perfect husband, perfect little children, perfect friends, perfect family, perfect house, PERFECT LIFE. (Yes, I know how stupid this sounds because her husband is cheating on her! But in her world, she doesn't know this and is therefore blissfully ignorant.) I want the happiness I see in all of the pictures carefully framed and displayed all throughout her home. Sick, sick, sick. Heh, I need to stop here. What started as 3 sentences has now gotten out of control. I guess I just feel the need to reach out, even if it is to a forum of anonymous userids. When I am on top of the world with him, I have no one to share it with IRL -- and the same goes for when I am feeling as low as I am today. Thanks for listening.
kkat Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Hi. I am sorry for your pain and glad that you posted. How can I be of support to you? I can connect with everything you are saying. Good thoughts. Kkat.
DesertDweller Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Hi. Welcome to the board. If you've been lurking, you know what to expect in the way of help. Some will be mean, some nice. But they'll all say the same thing: Leave him. If you leave, you'll be sad. If you stay you'll be sad. But if you leave, the sadness will eventually end.
Marie1973 Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Completepackage Hello Welcome to the boards. These people are great here. You will get a lot of advice here. I also am involved with a MM man for 2 1/2 years now. I learned never to say "never". My man has til the end of July to leave, if not i'm gone. This kind of relationship, does take a toll on you after awhile. Welcome again
Pocky Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Originally posted by TheCompletePackage 1. his wife gets pregnant and I leave him perfect little children Why do you need her to get pregnant in order to walk away? She already has children - which line gets crossed if she gets pregnant again?
Miffy Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Hi, presumably you've been in his house then or are you just imagining the pictures? Can you tell us all a bit about how it started, where you met, how old his kids are, has he said he will leave W for you? why do you think W will get pregnant - are they trying? does W suspect? Whilst it is true that the above questions do not affect the situation - which is that you are not happy - it does affect the advice most of us give.
newbby Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 you say that there are only two ways you can see the a ending, one of them involves you leaving. this shows that you know you have the strength to. what is it that you want from this relationship? are you wanting to continue with it until one of those two options happens? do you believe he will ever be with you exclusively? do you feel that the good in the relationship outweighs the bad, are things getting progressively better or worse, the same, both? you havent given alot of information, i know it feels strange at first, it took me awhile to get used to posting about my situation, but keep talking you will soon get used to it, and it really does help.
SoleMate Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 It's great to hear that the true tales of MM/OW "love" here on LS have opened your eyes. It truly is a story older than time. As for helpful words, how 'bout this: Better a painful ending...than a pain with NO ENDING! Make your own choices, and go build your own, authentic happiness with a single man. Go THROUGH the pain and welcome it. You won't feel like a fraud anymore.
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