Air20 Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 Hi, I’m at uni, and a few months ago, I met a guy who I liked. Also at this time, I met another guy who I hung out wih a few times, he was quite keen on me but I didn’t feel the same, I really wanted to be free of this guy before asking out the guy I actually liked. I met up with the guy I liked a few times, and when we were drunk one night in a club, I summoned up the courage to tell him I liked him. I think he said the same, then we kissed etc. However, the next weekend, I wasn’ t really feeling it. I didn’t want to kiss him, partly because I may not have been drunk enough, but also I just didn’t feel as attracted. We’re both quite shy as well, during the day, there’d be silences, sometimes the conversation felt stilted. I still kissed him this night, but not much, I didn’t want to fake it, I think he picked up on it. I realised I didn’t really find him physically attractive anymore, it was his personality that attracted me at first to him. I felt bad, as I said I liked him the previous week. I don’t know how the attraction just disappeared like that. Partly because I saw other guys on apps who were hot. I’ve never had a long term relationship, I want one, however I think I’d always be thinking there’d be someone else I’d be more attracted to, who would be more ‘the one’ After this, the mood was a bit subdued in the morning, we’d been staying in a hotel. We didn’t say anything about our feelings, in fact we never have, although I think he likes me, even though he’s never said it outright. We played hockey a few days later with the uni team and that was ok. I needed time to decide if I wanted to go out with him or not. We went out last night, first time we’d met in a few weeks. We hadn’t messaged much. I was seeing this as just going out as mates. We were dancing and again I wasn’t feeling it with him. There were loads of other guys who I wanted to dance with/chat to, I felt I couldn’t. I kissed him a few times, I kind of enjoyed it but I knew I was faking it. It’s hard for me to be direct, I didn’t want to be honest with him, didn’t want to upset him. I won’t suggest meeting up for a while, as it could get his hopes up. I’m happy just to be friends, or casual partners, it was nice cuddling up to him in bed, but he wasn’t exciting me. However, last night, he mentioned that his friend was bringing someone who he dated once, who had ‘friendzoned’ him, and that it would be awkward seeing him. I’m not sure if he’d take too kindly to just being friends with me, which I understand, but it’s not like we’ve been dating really seriously. Like I said, we’ve never actually talked about our feelings, or about what we want etc.... . I could also say that I didn’t feel he liked me enough, as he never actually said anything, maybe he only likes me when he’s drunk too. We’re also in the LGBT society and hockey team. The lgbt is quite cliquey, we have other friends there, I’m worried if we fell out, others could find out and they’d all be thinking I was a user/bad person This isn’t the first time it’s happened where I’ve been into someone, then the attraction has just gone. I’m concerned.I’m not sure what to do here, I could just not get in touch for a while, as has been the case. Any advice/thoughts would be very welcome, thanks
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 Do you go into these 'relationships' sober? Or do you feel the need to imbibe to get the courage to interact with someone you think you like? Are you male or female?
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