karly85 Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 What should "dating" be like? These days people have their opinion of what a date should be, or how someone should act when they are dating. But what is "serious" dating or apposed to someone who just wants the company once a week or so without commitment. Is that even dating?
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 To me, dating is different then being in a relationship. Dating consists of the meetings . . . spending time together every so often, like once per week. Being in a relationship is more. It's combining your lives to some extent. It's letting other person in. It's relying the other person & being accountable to them too. 3
Author karly85 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 To me, dating is different then being in a relationship. Dating consists of the meetings . . . spending time together every so often, like once per week. Being in a relationship is more. It's combining your lives to some extent. It's letting other person in. It's relying the other person & being accountable to them too. If you were dating someone, would it be appropriate to call them your "Bf/Gf" or lead them to believe that they are? Or should that only used when you are in a committed relationship?
todreaminblue Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 dating to me is a commitment over chilling with friends......when i date its to know a man on an intimate level i dont mean sex i do however mean affection and i dont date lightly ...i date in line with my goal of marriage.... but getting to know the man i date and that takes time and effort ..effort to make the dates seem effortless and casual .... time for the date to be fun as well as a closer bond to form if it feels right.........dating takes me being vulnerable and if the guy is an honest and sincere guy it will take him allowing vulnerability in honesty as well....making something i consider pretty serious to be fun and light hearted actually takes work....so yes i consider dating to be a serious commitment...not to be done lightly or for companionship you can get that from friends...dates are different and to me need to be defined as such.. if it doesnt develop into a relationship the daters should be able to walk away from each other feeling good about themselves and respected and understood and ultimately better for have dating the person that they did...even if it doesnt work out..the fun aspect of dates allows another to remember the fun.....mutual respect allows the daters to move on with confidence into dating others.......that would be the ideal situation in regards to dating and i believe dating can do damage to people...if not treated with care and thoughtfulness and mutual respect.............in my opinion anyway...so yes i consider dating to be a commitment to yourself and to another's well being....so its serious for me to date...i dont normally date on a whim.......deb\ 2
Author karly85 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 dating to me is a commitment over chilling with friends......when i date its to know a man on an intimate level i dont mean sex i do however mean affection and i dont date lightly ...i date in line with my goal of marriage.... but getting to know the man i date and that takes time and effort ..effort to make the dates seem effortless and casual .... time for the date to be fun as well as a closer bond to form if it feels right.........dating takes me being vulnerable and if the guy is an honest and sincere guy it will take him allowing vulnerability in honesty as well....making something i consider pretty serious to be fun and light hearted actually takes work....so yes i consider dating to be a serious commitment...not to be done lightly or for companionship you can get that from friends...dates are different and to me need to be defined as such.. if it doesnt develop into a relationship the daters should be able to walk away from each other feeling good about themselves and respected and understood and ultimately better for have dating the person that they did...even if it doesnt work out..the fun aspect of dates allows another to remember the fun.....mutual respect allows the daters to move on with confidence into dating others.......that would be the ideal situation in regards to dating and i believe dating can do damage to people...if not treated with care and thoughtfulness and mutual respect.............in my opinion anyway...so yes i consider dating to be a commitment to yourself and to another's well being....so its serious for me to date...i dont normally date on a whim.......deb\ You said "if it doesn't develop into a relationship"...... What if one of the dater's put the other under the illusion that they are actually in a relationship, when really they are not just so they can have a weekly "hook up"? How to recognise just being a "hook up" whilst you are dating?
Author karly85 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 I'm going to hopefully re start dating in the next few months after being dumped by my "boyfriend" who was really casually seeing me. I was so unaware of any red flags or the signs that he was not committed or even in a relationship (even though he made me think we were ) What should I look out for when I do re start dating to stop this happening again?
BaileyB Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Dating is a period of discovery. It is all about getting to know the other person and deciding, if they are the right person for you. When you date, you have "meetings." Once or twice a week, for the first month or so... Slowly increasing the communication and the time spent together. When you date, you go out together - on dates. No Netflix and chill. Have fun together, go on adventures and try new things. This is the fun time!! When you date, you set boundaries. And, when you are comfortable more comfortable with the other person - you feel like you are getting to know them and you like what you see - you start to get a little more intimate (ie telling them more personal information about yourself, exploring a physical relationship). No, I wouldn't call a man my boyfriend when we were in the early stages of dating. To me, that and a sexual relationship is reserved for the time at we discuss exclusivity and we both decide that we are "a couple." Karly, I suggest that you go to the baggage reclaim website where you will find some very interesting articles on dating. Good reading! Very helpful. 1
GoldSparkz Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 You can avoid being drawn into a casual relationship by forgetting about the prospect of sex until you both agree to be in an exclusive relationship. However, some guys are so desperate for sex they'll lead you on for as long as it takes, playing the white Knight until you fall for his charms and give into sex - then his out of the door. In my experience, men fall in love before sex and women fall in love after sex. So you want to delay sex until the guy has fallen in love with you. The best way (in my experience) to tell whether he has fallen in love is that he is still there for you through the rough times, being apart for long periods and never misses an opportunity to spent time with you. If all else fails, delay sex until marriage. If he's still around, you've got yourself a keeper!
Leodan Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 Two definitions: 1. Going on dates, seeing another person casually, and usually without commitment. 2. Partaking in serious relationship with someone, usually with expressed commitment.
Shanex Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 Two definitions: 1. Going on dates, seeing another person casually, and usually without commitment. 2. Partaking in serious relationship with someone, usually with expressed commitment. That's true and you can be in-between. So some FWBs situation. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 Apparently you were burned by somebody who called you his GF but who only wanted casual. You want to identify the red flags. It's not always that easy to figure out what a new person in your life is thinking. It's a combo of what they say, how they say it & how they act. It's also how you feel. Are you comfortable & at ease? Is your gut telling you they are trustworthy? Are your friends & family giving you positive or negative feedback about the person? Go slow. Anybody who moves too fast or who pushes for intimacy too soon is often not on the up & up. It takes time to meld together.
basil67 Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 Titles mean different things to different people. I wouldn't take any notice of what someone calls me - it's more about their actions. And of course, discussion. 1
OatsAndHall Posted February 19, 2017 Posted February 19, 2017 This is always a tough one for me. I met a woman via OLD that I had a fabulous date with and we scheduled a second. During the date she asked if I dated more than one person at once and I stated that I didn't normally do so. She said that she didn't either. So, I operated under the impression that we weren't "dating" other people and there was a minor level of commitment there. Long story short, she got strange and either didn't respond to texts or sent short responses. I had to get on the OLD site we met on to report spam a and she was logged in. So, I asked her what was going on as I thought we had said we were only going to see each other. She said that she had never agreed to that and that was the last I heard of her. So, now, "dating" for me means that I go out with a woman a few times, see if something clicks and go from there. I do make it very clear that I don't jump into the sack quickly as I get overly attached when I do so. I let them know that sleeping with them means that I'm fond of them and am looking for a commitment. Also, I won't sleep with a woman who is dating multiple men. I have nothing against them but I have an STD scare about a decade ago and I won't go through that crap again. They may not be sleeping with multiple guys at once and it's not my place to ask them about it but I do draw that line. Generally speaking, "dating" ends and a "relationship" begins when we sleep together. But, again, that is something that is discussed when things get hot 'n heavy. This little policy of mine has worked well for me as it also keeps things from getting nasty if we decide not to see each other.. I don't like being accused of "using someone for sex" or any of that drama.
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