marie25 Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Hello all, I have found in my healing process that the posts and replies that I cherish the most are the positive, uplifting success stories. I would love for those of you who feel like you have positive post-breakup stories to post them here! For me, I think I can definitely start to say that "it gets better." It's hard to give an accurate timeline since the breakup was very complicated and even involved a reconciliation and breakup again days later - but I have been a steady 1.5 weeks NC with the internal decision to move on. I can honestly say that while I have hard moments (or even a bad day here and there), I am overall a happy person that isn't constantly plagued with sadness like I was while in the throes of the breakup. I've definitely done soul searching and reading books to help, as well as working out and spending lots of time with friends. NC was the way to go! Even myself - who is currently on the fence about wanting reconciliation (would just like to keep an open mind about that), found it so much easier to breathe in NC, and ending on a positive mature note with the ex. Anyways, I would LOVE to hear all of your stories! 2
dinosaursymphony Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 I don't know if mine is considered super uplifting, but it might be to some, so I'll bite. My ex and I dated for 3 months in high school (I was a junior and he was a senior). He had had a thing for me for all of high school, but I didn't know that, and was always in another relationship. We had a good relationship, but he ended up breaking up with me after he graduated in June, as he was going away to college and I think he wanted to experience that while single. I also think he was developing some deeper feelings for me that scared him at the time, as he had issues with commitment. When he broke up with me, I was upset, but ultimately didn't show him that. I just said "ok" and walked away and went NC. He later admitted that he was hoping I would argue with him, and that he would have agreed to keep dating. I told him that I wasn't going to do that. If things were that bad where he felt he needed to break up with me, I wasn't going to fight him. Anyway, I started dating someone else around October. I was happy in this new relationship, but was open to having my ex as a friend when he began initiating contact regularly in December. As we spoke more and more, and starting hanging out, I realized that there were still feelings on my part. My ex ultimately admitted that he wanted me back. I ended up breaking up with my then boyfriend around May, as it wasn't fair to him. My ex and I ended up getting back together officially in February after slowly easing into things. My ex admitted that he never got over me despite how hard he tried, and had a pretty rough time. The only issue was that I decided to go to a school about 1.5 hours away. He never wanted to do long-distance, but I eventually persuaded him. This was always a contention point, however. We had a relationship full of ups and downs, but loved each other very much and ultimately had a really good relationship. We had pretty much everything in common and the same life goals. We loved each other's families and they loved each other. We struggled with communication though due to the distance. We broke up after about 4 years together in March 2016, since I am in a 6 year program and both of our futures location-wise are uncertain. I had some mental health issues that lead to issues leading to disintegration of our relationship as well. Anyway, it was very very difficult for both of us, since we both loved one another when we broke up. We fell out of communication for about 8 months, with Happy Birthday's exchanged in August. Lately we have been growing close again, and have even been on a few dates. I am still away, but move home in May. We have both expressed being open to getting back together then. It is clear that he still loves me and always has. He admits that he will always have feelings for me. We definitely have things to work on. And it certainly is not a given that we will be together again. Nor am I counting on it. However, it is a possibility. I can honestly say that I have moved on and know I will be ok whether it ends up working out either way. And I am happy being in this position!
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