avoforastig Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I use Tinder and Bumble frequently. I've had amazing success with Bumble. However, I have noticed an unusual pattern that some women respond to my questions/messages but never reply back with any questions or conversation starters. Therefore, I get a vibe they aren't that interested. Interestingly a lot of them often even agree to dates. What's the deal?
Shanex Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Lazy, illiterate, not interested and polite, could be many things. Meet them if they agree sooner than later. 3
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Approach women IRL. They will either say yes or no...done. 3
GoldSparkz Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Or they could be multi dating but only see you as an option. Of someone is interested and on the same wavelength, there will always be conversation going back and forth - regardless of how you meet them. What are they like when you meet them in person?
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I use Tinder and Bumble frequently. I've had amazing success with Bumble. However, I have noticed an unusual pattern that some women respond to my questions/messages but never reply back with any questions or conversation starters. Therefore, I get a vibe they aren't that interested. Interestingly a lot of them often even agree to dates. What's the deal? Happens to me sometimes. When I finally get a response, they are unengaging or its like pulling teeth to get to know them.
ExposedBrick Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Or they could be multi dating but only see you as an option. Of someone is interested and on the same wavelength, there will always be conversation going back and forth - regardless of how you meet them. What are they like when you meet them in person?[/quote Usually women that are genuinely interested tend to engage more. That being said, I don't like to communicate much before an in person meeting as it's kind of a waste of time.
TheTraveler Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Approach women IRL. They will either say yes or no...done. Nope! I'll do both
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Somebody's responding to somebody somewhere along the line, because people do date, including average people. Obvious question: are you going for the uber-hotties who already have to field dozens of boring "conversation starter" messages from guys who want them for their looks? If so, you're one of a million, not one in a million. If not, disregard that question.
Author avoforastig Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 Or they could be multi dating but only see you as an option. Of someone is interested and on the same wavelength, there will always be conversation going back and forth - regardless of how you meet them. What are they like when you meet them in person? The last girl who acted like this did meet me but I only saw her once. I basically want to avoid flakers. How can I gauge if she is actually interested ahead of time? Should I offer my phone or something? I hate wasting my time and money on flaky chicks, absolute worst part of OLD is flaking.
Author avoforastig Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 Happens to me sometimes. When I finally get a response, they are unengaging or its like pulling teeth to get to know them. Look, Do you usually meet people who display this behavior?
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Look, Do you usually meet people who display this behavior? Not usually, no, why do you ask?
normal person Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I use Tinder and Bumble frequently. I've had amazing success with Bumble. However, I have noticed an unusual pattern that some women respond to my questions/messages but never reply back with any questions or conversation starters. Therefore, I get a vibe they aren't that interested. Interestingly a lot of them often even agree to dates. What's the deal? This is pretty common, in my experience. OLD has reached a point where most smart people realize the messages are basically pointless unless they reveal some red flags. As long as you don't act nuts in the messages, they're just mindless filler until you meet up and then can decide if you like each other. No girl is suddenly going to like you a lot more once you message her to ask where she's from or what she likes to do on the weekends. It doesn't matter. It's trivial. The conversations are robotic pleasantries. Have you ever seen profiles that say "Not looking for a pen pal. If you're not willing to meet up, don't bother?" It's because most people have become wise to the fact that messaging doesn't really matter. It's just polite small talk that does very little engage someone emotionally. Most people, myself included, don't want to message more than necessary. When a girl starts texting me a bunch of questions before we meet up I want to bang my head against the wall. We're going to talk about all these things in person, what's the point of sitting and typing them out beforehand if we've already agreed to meet in a few days? Our online dating habits are evolving. My advice is to go with the flow: if she responds with the bare minimum, she's interested in meeting you, but probably not spending the time to talk your ear off before she knows she likes you. She's likely smart and efficient with her time -- you may have a good one there.
Miss Spider Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 "Not looking for a pen pal. If you're not willing to meet up, don't bother?" Most people, myself included, don't want to message more than necessary. When a girl starts texting me a bunch of questions before we meet up I want to bang my head against the wall. We're going to talk about all these things in person, what's the point of sitting and typing them out beforehand if we've already agreed to meet in a few days? Our online dating habits are evolving. My advice is to go with the flow: if she responds with the bare minimum, she's interested in meeting you, but probably not spending the time to talk your ear off before she knows she likes one there. My understanding is that years ago, long email chains back and forth before meeting were not uncommon. Now that's become a sign of a time waster! Either they're afraid or burning time. Both not appealing It's all much faster these days for people who genuinely want to date. Most actually want to know you're you, meet in the flesh relatively soon, instead of exchanging endless chain of small talk. People write things like "not looking for pen pals" because so many people on OLD are there for attention or chatting with no intention to ever meet anyone. It's a good time filler or ego stroke for them. Don't take anything personally until you meet in person, including matching with someone 'hot'. Means nowt 1
Miss Peach Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 OP - Your complaint isn't limited to women. Men do the same. If someone can't handle basic conversation skills online I pass.
Miss Peach Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 This is pretty common, in my experience. OLD has reached a point where most smart people realize the messages are basically pointless unless they reveal some red flags. As long as you don't act nuts in the messages, they're just mindless filler until you meet up and then can decide if you like each other. No girl is suddenly going to like you a lot more once you message her to ask where she's from or what she likes to do on the weekends. It doesn't matter. It's trivial. The conversations are robotic pleasantries. Have you ever seen profiles that say "Not looking for a pen pal. If you're not willing to meet up, don't bother?" It's because most people have become wise to the fact that messaging doesn't really matter. It's just polite small talk that does very little engage someone emotionally. Most people, myself included, don't want to message more than necessary. When a girl starts texting me a bunch of questions before we meet up I want to bang my head against the wall. We're going to talk about all these things in person, what's the point of sitting and typing them out beforehand if we've already agreed to meet in a few days? Our online dating habits are evolving. My advice is to go with the flow: if she responds with the bare minimum, she's interested in meeting you, but probably not spending the time to talk your ear off before she knows she likes you. She's likely smart and efficient with her time -- you may have a good one there. I would argue they do matter to an extent. Many men are very generic (and I'm sure this isn't limited to men). Their profiles all read the same. The messages all read the same. The thing is, if you're a women with tons of messages in your inbox and can only go out and meet guys X amount of times per week, then how do you filter out which guys you give the date to? You do this through the profile and the messages. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I would argue they do matter to an extent. Many men are very generic (and I'm sure this isn't limited to men). Their profiles all read the same. The messages all read the same. Exactly, all the profiles of women read the same, or similar rather. They most all claim to be easy going, don't sweat the small stuff, drama free, looking for a partner in crime, I love to laugh (that's a popular one), love being with friends and family, etc. A lot of the adjectives that describe themselves, I'm sure it's both men and women, give a list of descriptors separated with commas. So you might as well meet in person and skip the small talk.
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