Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 My ex split up w/me a little bit ago and I'm trying really hard to wrap my head around it. I know we weren't the perfect match, due to being in different places in our lives, but I grew to love him and I know he loved me. He is very insecure and always told me how I was out his league, but at the same time when I met his mom he proudly told her my accomplishments. His reasons for letting me go were very cliché (even he understood that), but he told me I was an amazing person and that he didn't want to drag me through his crap. He never took advantage of me financially or physically, so I know he wasn't in it for the stuff he would get out of it. He also mentioned its happened in the past w/other relationships, where he feels a disconnect. I was his 1st adult relationship, though he wasn't my 1st. Ever let someone go because you knew you were holding them back? I know my relationship is over, I'm not making excuses for him, just trying to make my heart feel more at peace.
Deadmeat Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 My ex split up w/me a little bit ago and I'm trying really hard to wrap my head around it. I know we weren't the perfect match, due to being in different places in our lives, but I grew to love him and I know he loved me. He is very insecure and always told me how I was out his league, but at the same time when I met his mom he proudly told her my accomplishments. His reasons for letting me go were very cliché (even he understood that), but he told me I was an amazing person and that he didn't want to drag me through his crap. He never took advantage of me financially or physically, so I know he wasn't in it for the stuff he would get out of it. He also mentioned its happened in the past w/other relationships, where he feels a disconnect. I was his 1st adult relationship, though he wasn't my 1st. Ever let someone go because you knew you were holding them back? I know my relationship is over, I'm not making excuses for him, just trying to make my heart feel more at peace. Yes, I was. My ex left me citing that she wanted to focus on her school. I was in love with her and she claimed she was falling for me. We were amazing together, or so I thought. To be clear, I never really believed her. I felt her reasons were only partially true, and deep down she just figured we weren't a good match or lost feelings. I struggled with that a lot and had to deal with my own emotional maturity. Now that I'm 6 months NC, I can see that ultimately there was nothing I could have done. At the end of the day, she didn't want to be with me and that is the FIRST prerequisite my partner needed to have for us to thrive. In that regard, we weren't meant for each other. I know you are looking for answers but the truth is is that it is staring at you in your face. You just don't have the right "glasses" to see it right now. That's where time comes in. Good luck. 2
todreaminblue Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 (edited) I have a few times......let guys go.....and it is because i felt i would hold them back......and would do so again......i have in the past used a form of reverse psychology and made them break up with me......so they could feel better by ending things.....if i felt me breaking up with them might have residual effects......i make the break up come around by them..... I attract storms, my family is challenging , i am challenging myself for men......and i don't date lightly.....so dates for me are rare ...and when i do its normally a relationship that forms pretty quickly..... the last guy i made break up with me was a disabled olympic winner......and he could not have handled my family i did introduce him ....and he was overwhelmed i could feel it..... or could he handle me...i think i scared him a little he was quite nervous around me..... if my past came out it might ruin his chances of sponsorship to go to the last olympics..... so yeah....i didnt disclose my past ....i just did what i knew was the right thing to do.....he was extremely inspiring...stellar human..... and needed to keep up on the path he was on that path wasnt right for me to be on with him......he wasnt strong enough to keep his dream alive and be with me too.........he did go by the way to the olympics and i am so glad he did.... the easiest way to break up with someone is to make them do it.....or to gently let them know it is you who is holding them back...and then you set them free.......because you respect them,you think they are a beautiful person ,want the best for them and in no way shape or form want to be the one to hurt them.....so you do the letting go ....very gently... be at peace...the guy thinks you are special..a good egg..just not specially for him...hugs to ya....deb Edited February 16, 2017 by todreaminblue
academicmoss Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 the easiest way to break up with someone is to make them do it This is one of the dirtiest, most cowardly ways to break up with someone. To have them do your dirty work for you. I would never mistreat someone that "I" didn't want to be with, to get them to break up with ME. If that's the case, I'd be too immature to be dating. 2
Hatelove_1 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 This is one of the dirtiest, most cowardly ways to break up with someone. To have them do your dirty work for you. I would never mistreat someone that "I" didn't want to be with, to get them to break up with ME. If that's the case, I'd be too immature to be dating. agree. such a CRUEL way to dump someone. The funny thing is that if you're not an idiot you know exactly what the person is doing. I have no respect for people who do this. 1
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 Well at least he was decent enough to break it off, though I kind of got the ball rolling w/an ultimatum. Do you think he truly cares/cared for me?
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