Trichrome Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Hello everyone this is my first post and I am looking for some advice. I got into a Fast and Furious Love at First Sight relationship and it has lasted 1 year and 8 months. Starting at 6 months and then about every 3 months thereafter, we would get in some type of argument that escalated to the point where I either threw her out or she left. These arguments were always brought on by stress that had been allowed to stack. No matter the severity of the blow out both of us were always left in shock the next day wondering why we let it get that far and mourning the fact that we were not together any longer. So we kept getting back together. Recently we have made a massive amount of progress and we were both feeling more connected to each other than ever. We agreed to get married. We exchanged rings. It is important to understand that in our relationship we were the type of couple who moved in together very quickly, spent 24/7 together, held hands 80% of the time, literally when we woke up in the morning we would already be holding hands from sleep. Countless times one of us would stir in the night and roll over and we would just hug and kiss each other for a minute and say goodnight again. Both of us have always been in agreement that these are the strongest feelings we've ever had. I'm 37 and she is 41. Recently some major stress fell on us. She got full custody of her nine and 10 year old girls and they came to live with us full time. I had always had a great relationship with them but this new development with their father changed that Dynamic greatly. I became the bad guy because I was not dad and things were really hard. To make matters worse, I got in a bad dirt bike accident that landed me in surgery and in bed rest for 3 months. About a month into my bed rest we got in major blowout that ended in her leaving with her kids in the middle of the night. So sad. Able to say at this point with traumatized children and a history of having blowouts like this we have decided we cannot live together. So here is where I need advice. We are both still in love with each other. She comes here every day to take care of me even though she is staying with a friend and struggling a lot. I have told her that I think as hard as it is we need to say goodbye even though it breaks my heart. She wants to just live apart and stay together. She won't let go. I feel like I should let go so I can stop crying all the time but I don't want to either. Things have gotten so terrible with all of this and the poor children being involved... I just feel like too much damage has been done and we can never heal fully. But we can't quit each other. It's hard for me to be the strong one right now and cut the cord especially being bedridden I'm so sad and confused I just don't know what to do but type and cry
kztar Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 You are the source of each other's pain therefore you will not heal together. One of you has to man up and let go. If after you are both healed im saying BOTH because if only one of you is and the other one is not it is doomed. You can try again IF you are healed and available. For your own sake go NC.
Author Trichrome Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 Thank you kztar I don't know how many more times I need to hear that before I can develop the courage but I know that I must. thank you for story and your support it means the world to me. I hope you are feeling better and hanging in there. I was in a 15-year long relationship that was pretty much the only thing I had ever known. I never thought that I would really love anyone again like that but I was wrong. I feel that same hopelessness now now just as I am sure you must, but there is someone out there for you who will make you whole. Maybe more whole than you have ever imagined. Let's hold on to that thought
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