dustt Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I`m 23 years old and i have loved this girl for as long as i can remember. But she never returned my feelings. She is a living proof that God exists, because nothing human could have ever created something this beautiful. Its not about a certain distance between her eyes or a specific shape of lips. It is about her unique flaws, and the fact that i will never find this face, voice, smell or laugh in someone else. Every year, for the last 10 years, we talk for about 2–3 months. Everytime it ends the same way, with my life draining away from me as i realise that she will never love me. After half a year, i miss her so much that i convince myself that this time will be different. And repeat. As I`m writing this, my hand still smells like her hand, so you can tell which part of the year is it.. This time i tried expressing my feelings. I kept telling that how important she is to me with gestures and beautiful words. But they are one sided.. and empty. I feel the way she doesn`t hold my hand back, the way she wishes it was someone else who told her all these things. And it kills me. The last time we talked about us, it all ended in one wish, despite all. `` I just want to see yourself through my eyes for one moment. Just to know how special you are to me. I love you with all my heart ``. The last phrase was just in my head. I feel that i`m an open minded person and I`m not blind in front of my selfishness. I know that truly loving a person its not nearly enough for them to like or grow to love you. But I can`t help myself. I wonder what are your opinions..Will she ever see me as more than just a friend ?
hercules22 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 looks like your deep in the friendzone it rare to get out of that once your in it there not much you can do she just not that into you in a romantic way
Tressugar Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Oh gawd! Could this what J be feeling about me? You described this unrequited situation I've been in since my 20's. Every year we try, but I end up walking away. *Sigh* don't look back these types of situations never resolve itself...hence the yearly or bi annual revisitations.
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 You have been pining for this girl since you were 13. It's unlikely that she will ever see you as more then a friend. Even if she tried to date you it wouldn't work. At this point you have her so high up on a pedestal, you could never interact with her as a mere mortal. She's not a perfect as you think. All people have flaws. She's not living proof that God exists, at least no more so then a flower, a sunrise or any other person. You are also not in love with her. Love requires the other person to feel it too. You are blinded by infatuation. This is an unrequited situation at best. Your life is also not over because this one woman doesn't return your affection. Through all your poetic waxing, one thing wasn't clear. Have you ever actually point blank & clearly asked this woman to go on a date with you? You post reads more like you stand around yammering, drooling & yearning but I did see that you actually asked for a date or her response. Telling her she's special & important to you is not the same thing as asking her on a date. Some guy babbling all that at a girl seemingly out of the blue because they are not dating is actually off-putting which is why you got an empty response. 9
CptInsano Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 She's not a perfect as you think. All people have flaws. She's not living proof that God exists, at least no more so then a flower, a sunrise or any other person. You are also not in love with her. Love requires the other person to feel it too. You are blinded by infatuation. This is an unrequited situation at best. Your life is also not over because this one woman doesn't return your affection. From my perspective he is also not in love with her, but an idealized version of her. Even if she loved him back, I doubt she could live up to his expectations. 7
preraph Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 You are wasting precious years chasing this illusion. She is not interested back. If you really did let her know how you feel this time, she may feel she really has to withdraw now, if it makes her feel too awkward. You have to realize that her perspective is better than yours. She KNOWS you are not right for each other. You can't see that because you don't really know her, or you'd know why she isn't attracted to you in that way. 1
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 The obsession you have with her is unhealthy and is ripping you off in having a relationship with someone else who would love you back. BTW girls do not like being put up on a pedestal or being the equivalent to the sprint of god. You are addicted to dopamine....every time you think of her, your brain releases dopamine....every time you want a hit, you just fantasize about her. Please seek out a therapist so you can recover and be a normal person. 2
Shanex Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Short answer because I was going to write out a lot: I've been in your shoes before and idolising some girl for nothing who turned out to just enjoy playing with the foolish orbiter I was, buying things and being nice, the perfect filler. Some women are that mean, and some dudes are that naive.
ElizabethIII Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 (edited) I had a huge crush on this guy when I was 16. Luckily only pined over him until I was about 18. So it was 18 months or so that it lasted. I ran into him years later when I was 22-23. Took one look at him and I wanted to run the other way. I marveled at how much time I wasted lusting after that ugly prat. Dude get over it. You're 23. Enjoy your youth. Edited February 17, 2017 by ElizabethIII 3
preraph Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 All through high school I had a crush on Alan I was so nervous that when he gave me a ride home from french club, the ice in my coke was rattling. A few years later, his ex-wife was dating someone I worked with. Turns out he was abusive and was hitting her and stuff. If I'd known that, I'd have been over him instantly!! I can't help it, though -- I still get a rush when I see a car like his old one (68 Mustang fastback, white with red stripe). 1
goldway90 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Good lord! you're living in a world of your own. You idolized this girl for 10 years you lost grip of the real world. Seriously seek professional help.
emsx0x Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Putting us on a pedestal like this, we women don't like it and find it a bit overbearing. We are human with faults, please don't worship us lol
Sweetfish Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Ever see the movie "The planet of the apes" where a couple of men go into space. Many years later they crash on a "planet of apes"and get captured. Finally, escape and are lead to their ship to escape the planet and at the end of the movie you learn they actually crashed on earth just many years later...the whole time it wasnt another planet. Thats how I see your life... with this girl You are like the guys who spent all that "time" in space (years in space) putting their lives on the line for that one thing. That one great thing (or person) and in the end you find out you didnt go anywhere? Or that thing wasn't that great. When you realized at the end of your movie that everything you thought wasn't.... when you wake up in a planet of apes your gonna be pissed.
Mumbles Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Ahh, goodness me ... young love (or infatuation in this case). sigh. Such a beautiful thing. Memories, memories. I had a complete crush on a girl in my class when I was 15-16. I thought in exactly the same way as you are OP - it was all poetry and staring at her perfectness and the lingering smell of her. She must have known. I spent pretty much a whole year pining after her and contriving situations whereby we'd be in the same space - even changing classes to ensure it would be so. But real world - you've got to man up and ask the question. Chances are high you'll get rejected, but you've got to do it anyway. I waited until school had ended and I moved away. Then I wrote her this amazing letter that, hand to god, must have scared the bejesus out of her hehe. No response. So I wrote another one, using a hurt tone - to which she responded, with care and graciousness ... but no, I wasn't for her This allowed me to move on, and I did. But if you just keep pining away you'll simply waste your life and the opportunities that cross your path.
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