theflash Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Hello all. I would like to introduce myself but not now. I wanna get straight to my story.I'll explain my story from the beginning onwards.Okay first i fell in love with a girl before 4 years and last year i had suicidal depression.I was mentally ill and met many psychiatrists and none of them could help.And she was the only person i had at that time. So i turned to her for help. At first she helped me get through it. Then i was always talking about my mental illness and the symptoms that i'm facing.One day she got irritated and didnt text me for an entire day.No matter what ive replied. Then the next day she put her whatspp status as "Unaffected" that hurt me a lot. Instead of letting her go,i've talked about my problems again then she has put her status as " I would rather quit you than quit being me" I was heartbroken.I suffered with my suicidal depression and this horrible breakup.After a few days i apologized to her for explaining my problems even tho when she dont wanna hear.Then she told me some bull**** from that i came to a conclusion that she never loved me the way that i loved her.I loved her more than i love myself. You can know the pain i've felt. seriously it was horrible.I cant stress enough to describe my pain. Then ive bought a new sim and created new accounts to avoid her. Then one day, ive done a very foolish act i follwed her on Instagram and gave her my new number. Now she talks okay with me i thought shes in love with me again. By reading some bull**** books about how to get your ex back through law of attraction and i realized that law of attraction, it made me even more depressed.But now i've realized that im no longer present in her priority list. I'm so so depressed.Please help me get through this guys. I have no one to turn to or share my problems with. I've kept this pain for too long in my heart without sharing it with anyone.Please help guys.
Author theflash Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Iam not able to let her go...
Crystal1111 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 You're not alone. I'm so sorry for your pain. Keep posting and reading here. I know it doesn't seem like it but, it's going to be ok. Hang in there. 1
Lilyana76 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Depression is a serious illness. Why haven't therapists or psychs been able to help you? Are you taking any medications? You have to really work at depression to beat it. It takes a lot of time, and a lot of trial and error before you find what works for you. As for getting over this girl, You have to let her go and focus on you. If you don't love you, no one else is going to have the energy to love you both enough to keep it going. I know it hurts, and I know it sucks. But take this time to help YOU. Block all contact from her again. And DO NOT attempt to reach out to her again. She has decided she can not help you, and she was losing herself in helping you. So, she got out to save herself. Now its up to you to save YOU. You got this, you can do it! Keep posting and sharing your stories here, it does help to get it all off your chest! 2
Author theflash Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Thank You very much crystal.
Author theflash Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Depression is a serious illness. Why haven't therapists or psychs been able to help you? Are you taking any medications? You have to really work at depression to beat it. It takes a lot of time, and a lot of trial and error before you find what works for you. As for getting over this girl, You have to let her go and focus on you. If you don't love you, no one else is going to have the energy to love you both enough to keep it going. I know it hurts, and I know it sucks. But take this time to help YOU. Block all contact from her again. And DO NOT attempt to reach out to her again. She has decided she can not help you, and she was losing herself in helping you. So, she got out to save herself. Now its up to you to save YOU. You got this, you can do it! Keep posting and sharing your stories here, it does help to get it all off your chest! Idk to..they just couldnt help..medications didnt work..somehow i got better..Im feeling much better now.And btw if she had loved me deeply she would have helped me ryt?Just asking
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 If the mental health professionals could not help you (according to you) it was grossly unfair of you to expect some random girl with no medical training to absorb & cure everything that ails you. First reality check: Love does not conquer all. Second reality check: people are allowed to not text you back for a whole day, even a whole week. Nobody owes you availability 24/7. Third reality check: Social media is meaningless. Her status on whatsapp is trivial (although it admittedly doesn't feel that way) You need to legitimately fix you. Until you get healthy you can't form a healthy relationship. I'm sorry you are hurting. I know what it feels like to feel suicidal but that's on you, not her. 4
goldway90 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I'm sorry you're going through this, the thing is she wasn't/isn't QUALIFIED to help you that's too much for a normal person to handle. Even if you she loved you deeply she had to care of her health. Finding the right medication is a trial and error you need to seek professional help again for your depression there's no way for you to handle a relationship until you actually get mentally stable, sad but true . I wish you luck. 1
Author theflash Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 If the mental health professionals could not help you (according to you) it was grossly unfair of you to expect some random girl with no medical training to absorb & cure everything that ails you. First reality check: Love does not conquer all. Second reality check: people are allowed to not text you back for a whole day, even a whole week. Nobody owes you availability 24/7. Third reality check: Social media is meaningless. Her status on whatsapp is trivial (although it admittedly doesn't feel that way) You need to legitimately fix you. Until you get healthy you can't form a healthy relationship. I'm sorry you are hurting. I know what it feels like to feel suicidal but that's on you, not her. Actually I was just looking for some support from her not to cure me.
Author theflash Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 I'm sorry you're going through this, the thing is she wasn't/isn't QUALIFIED to help you that's too much for a normal person to handle. Even if you she loved you deeply she had to care of her health. Finding the right medication is a trial and error you need to seek professional help again for your depression there's no way for you to handle a relationship until you actually get mentally stable, sad but true . I wish you luck. Bro.You guys are getting me wrong.I just needed some someone to lean on cos I was weak I didnt want her to cure me..I just needed her support.get my point bro?And thanks
Author theflash Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 If the mental health professionals could not help you (according to you) it was grossly unfair of you to expect some random girl with no medical training to absorb & cure everything that ails you. First reality check: Love does not conquer all. Second reality check: people are allowed to not text you back for a whole day, even a whole week. Nobody owes you availability 24/7. Third reality check: Social media is meaningless. Her status on whatsapp is trivial (although it admittedly doesn't feel that way) You need to legitimately fix you. Until you get healthy you can't form a healthy relationship. I'm sorry you are hurting. I know what it feels like to feel suicidal but that's on you, not her. And I've told her my issues cos I had no one to tell.How would u feel when u keep all of your sorrows within u?
Author theflash Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 I'm sorry you're going through this, the thing is she wasn't/isn't QUALIFIED to help you that's too much for a normal person to handle. Even if you she loved you deeply she had to care of her health. Finding the right medication is a trial and error you need to seek professional help again for your depression there's no way for you to handle a relationship until you actually get mentally stable, sad but true . I wish you luck. If she really loved me deeply she would have kept her prids aside and told me that I'm hurting her.If she would've told me that I would've corrected my mistakes know?
goldway90 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Bro.You guys are getting me wrong.I just needed some someone to lean on cos I was weak I didnt want her to cure me..I just needed her support.get my point bro?And thanks I didn't say anything about her curing you! She can't support you for the simple fact that it's too much, you have too much baggage for a normal person to deal with it before they leave it's emotionally draining. You need professional help that's how you deal with your sorrows and demons, friends and loved ones can only do much to support you. 1
goldway90 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 If she really loved me deeply she would have kept her prids aside and told me that I'm hurting her.If she would've told me that I would've corrected my mistakes know? You're being selfish and you have no right to actually say anything like this. She did what best for her own health, LOVE has nothing to do with this. The only way to correct your mistakes is by seeking professional help. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 And I've told her my issues cos I had no one to tell.How would u feel when u keep all of your sorrows within u? I"m not saying that you should keep all your sorrows within you. I am saying that proper place to release them is to your mental health professional. Depression especially when it's so serious that you are thinking about suicide is not something to fool around with. If you had cancer, yes you would expect your loved one to support you -- make you food, hold you, drive you to chemo -- but you would not expect that person to fix the problem & you would know that her support is of limited value. That said, just like some people can't handle physical illness -- especially when experienced by a dating partner -- more people can't handle mental illness so they bolt. When dating, I kept my issues bottled up inside as much as possible so as not to burden my SO. It's harder to hide them in a marriage so my husband knows more than any BF ever did but the fact remains they are my problems, not his. Your initial post is scary because it contains a lot of drama. You say she is the only one you have. Where is your family? Where are your friends? You say you concluded she never loved you. She probably cared about you but you overwhelmed her. It's hard to be the person who loves somebody who is depressed. I've tried it in my life & got dragged down by it so I work to not burden my loved ones with my stuff. That's what therapy is for -- you pay somebody to listen to you. Journaling can help too; it's a more positive outlet then freaking out because somebody didn't text you back for a day. Please take care of yourself & listen to your doctors. You will get through this break up & come out stronger on the other end but you need to learn to rely more on yourself & less on others, no matter how much you care about them. The more you care, the less you should burden them with things they can't fix. 2
Author theflash Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 You're being selfish and you have no right to actually say anything like this. She did what best for her own health, LOVE has nothing to do with this. The only way to correct your mistakes is by seeking professional help. Thanks for explaining it to me.
Author theflash Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 (edited) I"m not saying that you should keep all your sorrows within you. I am saying that proper place to release them is to your mental health professional. Depression especially when it's so serious that you are thinking about suicide is not something to fool around with. If you had cancer, yes you would expect your loved one to support you -- make you food, hold you, drive you to chemo -- but you would not expect that person to fix the problem & you would know that her support is of limited value. That said, just like some people can't handle physical illness -- especially when experienced by a dating partner -- more people can't handle mental illness so they bolt. When dating, I kept my issues bottled up inside as much as possible so as not to burden my SO. It's harder to hide them in a marriage so my husband knows more than any BF ever did but the fact remains they are my problems, not his. Your initial post is scary because it contains a lot of drama. You say she is the only one you have. Where is your family? Where are your friends? You say you concluded she never loved you. She probably cared about you but you overwhelmed her. It's hard to be the person who loves somebody who is depressed. I've tried it in my life & got dragged down by it so I work to not burden my loved ones with my stuff. That's what therapy is for -- you pay somebody to listen to you. Journaling can help too; it's a more positive outlet then freaking out because somebody didn't text you back for a day. Please take care of yourself & listen to your doctors. You will get through this break up & come out stronger on the other end but you need to learn to rely more on yourself & less on others, no matter how much you care about them. The more you care, the less you should burden them with things they can't fix. Thank you so much for explaining it to me.Yea of course. I had family. But they didnt really show love.And my friends left me cos i was ill.And as a matter of fact i've apologized for forcing her to support me. I understood the situation. I didnt say that she didnt love me. I was just saying that she never loved me the way that i loved her. Our feelings didnt get reciprocated. And she didn't text me back and then only i've realized that im hurting her.Then i apologized for her. Then the truth came out. She never loved me the way that i loved her.She definitely loved me there's no dount about it. If she didnt love me she wouldn't have supported me in the first place.She really did care for me.But really she was losing herself in helping me.So i decided that she would better be happy without me. Then i broke up. It really did broke my heart. Somehow i got over it. Then i read some law of attracttion books on how to get your ex back.That screwed me up. I've kept expectations and all. Then i texted her back on my new number and followed her on instagram. Ive realized that she got over me...now its hurting me..Thats my story. And thank you for explaining the purpose of therapy and all. I didnt really care much about therapy. I thought if we have friends we can deal with it. But im unfortunately wrong. Im gonna meet some monks and share myy story with them too as therapy. Edited February 17, 2017 by theflash
d0nnivain Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I'm glad you are going back to therapy. It really helps. I met with my 4th therapist today. First meeting. She has a different background / philosophy than the others. I would not have been open to her then. The 1st one was awful. He made things worse. The next two were good but different from each other. I needed each of them in time. This one I need now. It's a process. You said you decided your GF would be better off without you. Sometimes I think my husband would be better off without me. One of the things I have learned in this journey that is depression is that my partner is capable of making choices about what his best for him (her in your case). I can't decide that. Even the most well meaning loving friends are no substitute for professional care. Hang in there! 1
Author theflash Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 (edited) I'm glad you are going back to therapy. It really helps. I met with my 4th therapist today. First meeting. She has a different background / philosophy than the others. I would not have been open to her then. The 1st one was awful. He made things worse. The next two were good but different from each other. I needed each of them in time. This one I need now. It's a process. You said you decided your GF would be better off without you. Sometimes I think my husband would be better off without me. One of the things I have learned in this journey that is depression is that my partner is capable of making choices about what his best for him (her in your case). I can't decide that. Even the most well meaning loving friends are no substitute for professional care. Hang in there! Thanks for enlightening me my friend. Are you going through depression? And one more thing you got me wrong at one thing. I've texxted her almost 15 times that day and she has come online too many time that day but she didnt even see my texts. Thats when i realized i was doing wrong. Okay anyway how are you now? From when are u suffering with depression? And your dog is super cute btw. are u a dog lover too? Edited February 17, 2017 by theflash
d0nnivain Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Depression is an on going thing. You manage it. It doesn't get cured. My parents, my dog & several other people died a while back & have been uncontrollably depressed ever since. It ebbs & flows. Now is a particularly acute phase. Don't message anybody 15x per day unless their is a crisis. The day my father collapsed & rushed to the Emergency Room, I reached out for my husband 7 times until I got him. Other than that the most I ever tried to contact somebody in one day who wasn't responding is 2x. Dial it back. My avatar is a super cute pup. Thank you for commenting. It's not actually a picture of my Dalmatian. I was unable to upload a picture of him. The resolution was too high for this system. 1
Author theflash Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 Depression is an on going thing. You manage it. It doesn't get cured. My parents, my dog & several other people died a while back & have been uncontrollably depressed ever since. It ebbs & flows. Now is a particularly acute phase. Don't message anybody 15x per day unless their is a crisis. The day my father collapsed & rushed to the Emergency Room, I reached out for my husband 7 times until I got him. Other than that the most I ever tried to contact somebody in one day who wasn't responding is 2x. Dial it back. My avatar is a super cute pup. Thank you for commenting. It's not actually a picture of my Dalmatian. I was unable to upload a picture of him. The resolution was too high for this system. I would love to see your dog. Did u train your dog?
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