indyboy362 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Me: 26M Her: 24F Been dating 1.5 years. For some reason, my girlfriend randomly brings up huge news in her life way later than she should. She just told me she's taking the LST this Saturday. And that she's been studying for it for months. I literally had 0 idea that she was studying for it, and that she was going to take it. Another example is she randomly brings up health conditions about herself. It was raining last week, and she said "Ah I guess my seasonal depressive disorder is making me feel really sad today." I had no idea she had that! And then another time she said "I think my Anemia is coming back." Once again, I had zero idea she had that as well. And after she says them she plays it off like I already knew about those conditions, when I 100% did not. Is this behavior okay? Whenever I'm doing something huge in my life, I tell her immediately. And she promotes that I tell her everything, however she doesn't tell me much about herself and what she's doing.
hercules22 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 nah its not okay got feeling she probably use it against you if yuse 2 got into a argument why even keep those sort things to herself and open up about it randomly especially if they are serious issues what if u dont know how to handle the situation beforehand cause you simply didnt know
Ronnys93 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 You need to talk with her for sure. As to why she's doing that I don't know. However, that kind of behavior really isn't good. You need to be able to trust that she will tell you when something is wrong, and clearly you can't do that right now. Have a serious chat about it. Bring up examples of the important things YOU tell her, and how important it is that she tells you vital information.
basil67 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Do you know for certain that she is sitting the LST test this Saturday? Likewise, do you know for sure that she does have the illnesses she speaks of? If I was in your shoes, I'd be suspicious that she's making it up. And if it's true, I'd be suspicious of all the other things I don't yet know. 1
Joga_31 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Me: 26M Her: 24F Been dating 1.5 years. For some reason, my girlfriend randomly brings up huge news in her life way later than she should. She just told me she's taking the LST this Saturday. And that she's been studying for it for months. I literally had 0 idea that she was studying for it, and that she was going to take it. Another example is she randomly brings up health conditions about herself. It was raining last week, and she said "Ah I guess my seasonal depressive disorder is making me feel really sad today." I had no idea she had that! And then another time she said "I think my Anemia is coming back." Once again, I had zero idea she had that as well. And after she says them she plays it off like I already knew about those conditions, when I 100% did not. Is this behavior okay? Whenever I'm doing something huge in my life, I tell her immediately. And she promotes that I tell her everything, however she doesn't tell me much about herself and what she's doing. You should communicate what you told us to her. Also make sure you are not doing all the talking in the relationship if you haven't done so already. So she can have the room to tell you more about herself. But definitely tell her that you would like to know those details she fails to mention.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Do you know for certain that she is sitting the LST test this Saturday? Likewise, do you know for sure that she does have the illnesses she speaks of? If I was in your shoes, I'd be suspicious that she's making it up. And if it's true, I'd be suspicious of all the other things I don't yet know. That was my first thought too. 3
GoldSparkz Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Do you know for certain that she is sitting the LST test this Saturday? Likewise, do you know for sure that she does have the illnesses she speaks of? If I was in your shoes, I'd be suspicious that she's making it up. And if it's true, I'd be suspicious of all the other things I don't yet know. I had the same thoughts as Basil when I read your post...especially those illnesses she brings up because if you had dated her for that long, you would have seen evidence. Anaemia symptoms are impossible to hide. I would get some evidence to back these claims as I suspect she is lying to manipulate you. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 With respect to her medical conditions she found a way to reveal them organically. There was no need to give you a dossier when you first met. People need not blurt out everything. It would have been nice had she shared a dream aspiration with you but she is probably afraid of failing. In this age of social media people don't have or respect privacy anymore. She is just somebody who plays things close to the vest. It's not a slight toward you. It's just her way. She is opening up more. Celebrate that. Don't punish her for not doing it sooner.
elaine567 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Anaemia symptoms are impossible to hide. That's not true. Many people are anaemic and don't even know it, as they have no symptoms whatsoever. 5
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Another example is she randomly brings up health conditions about herself. It was raining last week, and she said "Ah I guess my seasonal depressive disorder is making me feel really sad today." I had no idea she had that! And then another time she said "I think my Anemia is coming back." Once again, I had zero idea she had that as well. And after she says them she plays it off like I already knew about those conditions, when I 100% did not. Maybe you are giving this way too much importance. So it's raining and she makes a comment she has the blues. It doesn't mean she has been diagnosed with a mental illness. A lot of people feel down at this time of the year and will say things like Oh I suffer from seasonal depression when they have never even looked into it and it's just something they say. As for anemia, well, pretty much every woman will one day suffer from it whether it's from not enough red meat in their diet or from heavy periods. Unless your blood count is so low you faint then you won't know. If she feels tired and unmotivated it's probably why she thinks maybe her anemia is back. It's not like she was hiding MS from you. She didn't tell you because she didn't think about it. It never crossed my mind to tell a bf that I suffer from barometric headaches. My bf discovered it this weekend after 14 months dating.
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 This is her way of saying "pay attention to me","ask me how my day is going or what's going on in my life" she's asking you to have more of an interest in her...after 1.5 years, your focus on her has been fading"........
jesse88 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I was with one gf for years before some things like this actually stuck in my brain. Turns out I really wasn't that into her and didn't care enough to listen or pay attention. 1
preraph Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I guess she figures stuff like her test are just ordinary everyday stuff she doesn't normally feel the need to talk about socially. The other stuff, illnesses, I think it's good she isn't so focused on them that she talks about it all the time. She may figure it's not a huge deal and so she just mentioned them casually. This is why you date someone for a long time before committing to a lifetime. It takes some people a long time to reveal themselves all the way, if they ever do.
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