bakerjd1993 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 So long story right, as everyone says. Been sympathizing with alot of stories here recently, i've been reading them. So my ex texts my NEW number, i just TODAY, i dont know HOW she got it, but she said 'Can you give me the money you owe me please, I've waited long enough, thanks (Name)' Now bearing in mind this is like £20, and she makes healthy bank every month. Why would she be texting me following up a twenty pound note 2 months later? I dont get it. Is this a sign? Thanks Joshhh
DarrenB Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 I'm not too familiar with the term, but I believe what you've stated is what people like to refer to as 'breadcrumbs'. Don't get your hopes up and make belief that it's a 'sign'. Nothing ever good happens from breadcrumbs, unless you want the same outcome typically Sure, it'd be understandable that she's chasing up a payment if it was of a large abundance. However, £20? Taking into consideration what you've said it's simple to assume that £20 loss isn't going to hurt her income or bank balance. Yeah, I'd call it breadcrumbs. This one's the really crumbly kind. Don't respond. If you want to make a good gesture, don't respond but send her back the £20. All good.
Jimmyjackson Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Could be a breadcrumb, or she could be really broke and need the money. Just send it back but don't say anything. 1
goldway90 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 It's sign that she needs that £20 just send it to her and continue NC. 2
Alpha_Male Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Desperate breadcrumbs. That's the best idea she can come out with, while still maintaining her ego.
Author bakerjd1993 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Posted February 15, 2017 What is breadcrumbs? So unfimiliar with that term...she works a, well paid job.
Tusks_n_Raider Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 What is breadcrumbs? So unfimiliar with that term...she works a, well paid job. The Dumper presenting the Dumpee with some form of false hope of interest. Basically it's a way to keep stringing someone along. Also a meaningless attempt to see if they can get a response and inflate their own ego by getting attention from the person they crushed. It's baiting a response.
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 breadcrumbs are the little tidbits of attention the EXs gives you which in some people raises the expectation that the EX wants to get back together, even though that wasn't what the message said at all. You are following the breadcrumb when you ask if this is a sign. By asking that you are indicating that you seek reconciliation. You think that because she went out of her way to get your new number, text you & ask for money that you don't believe she needs, that it's a pretext, a way of opening up a conversation to see if you want to get back together. It's not. It's a breadcrumb because she didn't clearly say anything about getting together. She could just be pi$$ed that you never paid her back & the debt is one in a long line of things she used to justify the split. It could be she needs an ego boost & wants to see if you will still dance on her string. Other than Sending her the money there is no reason to contact her unless you like getting your heart stomped on. When you post the check, do write paid in full on it. Do not send cash. 3
Tusks_n_Raider Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Desperate breadcrumbs. That's the best idea she can come out with, while still maintaining her ego. Yep. I agree with everyone else too. Just send her the £20 in whatever way you can that doesn't involve you actually having to see her. Mail her a check or Paper currency but maintain NC.
preraph Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 It's a sign she wants the money you owe her, so give it to her electronically. 4
Author bakerjd1993 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Do you know what, no. Who am i to give her ANYTHING. Like, 2 months, and you still want £20?! That just seems dumb to me. it just seems pathetic. 'I've waited long enough' I dont care how long you've waited! Whats money to a broken heart?!
Tusks_n_Raider Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Do you know what, no. Who am i to give her ANYTHING. Like, 2 months, and you still want £20?! That just seems dumb to me. it just seems pathetic. 'I've waited long enough' I dont care how long you've waited! Whats money to a broken heart?! It is a pathetic attempt to reach out to you for sure. She's just trying to get a response from you to affirm to herself that she can. So the question is do you really owe her the £20 whether she needs it or not financially? Did she give this to you with the mutual understanding that you'd pay it back or was it a more casual here's £20 no worries? If you really owe her the money just send it to her maintaining NC and thus retaining YOUR position of strength. That's just good karma for you anyway. If you want to be petty(not that I advise this) you could give her the £20 in pennies. Though that would be pretty immature but a big F you at the same time. If you don't REALLY owe her £20 then just ignore it. Just maintain NC.
Tayla Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 It's a sign she wants the money you owe her, so give it to her electronically. ^^ This ^^^ is the adult thing to do. Pay her back . 3
Author bakerjd1993 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Thanks you lot. But its like, yessss my rational brains like pay her, but my emotional brain is like, shhh, im still in LOVE with you, and you face comes up on my whatsapp, like, what am i supposed to feel? I said the money will be with you tomorrow, but its like, its my mind, thinking about her, with another guy, and yes, I did owe her £20, but she makes, a fair healthy amount each month, if shes truly moved on, why worry about a note? Id be the same, but if id moved on from someone, i wouldnt care if i was in HER POSITION FINANCIALLYY.
5x5 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Well you could get over her, just as she has gotten over you. As to the money regardless of the amount, if you owe her you ought to pay it back. 1
Sweetfish Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Thanks you lot. But its like, yessss my rational brains like pay her, but my emotional brain is like, shhh, im still in LOVE with you, and you face comes up on my whatsapp, like, what am i supposed to feel? I said the money will be with you tomorrow, but its like, its my mind, thinking about her, with another guy, and yes, I did owe her £20, but she makes, a fair healthy amount each month, if shes truly moved on, why worry about a note? Id be the same, but if id moved on from someone, i wouldnt care if i was in HER POSITION FINANCIALLYY. Like someone else said... be an adult and pay her back and go No contact. Stop trying to rationalize the irrational. Doesn't matter if she makes 4000 a month. Your reading wayyy into a msg that means nothing. 3
Author bakerjd1993 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Well you could get over her, just as she has gotten over you. As to the money regardless of the amount, if you owe her you ought to pay it back. Its difficult for this one man, its difficult this time, In terms of stratergy, as shes gotten over me, yeah i could follow suite, but my hearts still invested. For me, i hold the heart over money anytime, i dont play. Ive had alot of money in the past, its not ABOUT the cash, its about the principal. I still have feelings, yes i could pay her back.
DarrenB Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 yes i could pay her back. Could? Should. She's asked politely, follow through and send the bloody £20 back. Simple. 5
Stercrazy Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Maybe your reluctance to pay her back is a way for you to stay connected with your ex. It's hard to let go. Pay her back so you can move on. 1
Author bakerjd1993 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Good point, its true. Shes owed, its hers, but i feel, this is gonna open a can of worms, like im just gonna write her some long arse thing that i dont want to do, about how I feel. About how i want her back. So in my reluctancy, its my way of being in control, of nothing.
5x5 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Its difficult for this one man, its difficult this time, In terms of stratergy, as shes gotten over me, yeah i could follow suite, but my hearts still invested. For me, i hold the heart over money anytime, i dont play. Ive had alot of money in the past, its not ABOUT the cash, its about the principal. I still have feelings, yes i could pay her back. You owe her the money, so do the decent thing and pay it back. If you can't afford to pay her back, work more hours or cut back on your spending elsewhere. If you want to wallow in self indulgent pity, don't let me discourage you. That said you should know that pining after her, is nothing more than a superfluous exercise in self-flagellation.
5x5 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Good point, its true. Shes owed, its hers, but i feel, this is gonna open a can of worms, like im just gonna write her some long arse thing that i dont want to do, about how I feel. About how i want her back. So in my reluctancy, its my way of being in control, of nothing. Actually if you don't want to write her that novel, feel free to choose not to. It really is that simple, if you don't want to do something then don't do it. If you want to be in a sexual relationship, stop wasting your time crying over what's past, then go and find someone else.
basil67 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 It's not a 'breadcrumb'. She just doesn't like that you haven't done the right thing and paid back your debt. If the way you have written this post is how you've acted in real life, it's no surprise she wants her money back. 1
Author bakerjd1993 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Let me set the record straight I gave her the £20 today, and she instantly text back going 'Oh, i was expecting more ' And i said, well, how much, she said 80! I said what?! It was 20! So yeah, i said, i'll give you more at the end of the month...And said 'okay ' So yeah, all you saying that its MY fault, all of you need to check this girl. Breadcrumbs.
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