Sweetgirl28 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 So, I finally cracked and downloaded Tinder. Only had one date so far. He was a nice guy but it didn't work out, so no second date. All the other matches were "meh". Until two days ago... I matched with this guy who seemed to be a soulmate or something. The conversation kept flowing non-stop for 6 hours... I usually never text that long. Date was set up for next Saturday. Yesterday, there was another texting marathon. I get even more excited, he says he is too. He also got super attached almost immediately, making long term plans which I had to refute as I haven't even met the guy... He immediately took that upon himself as in "I'm an idiot" kind of behavior. Today, radio silence! He mentioned he recently got out of a 1.5 year relationship. He also added me on fb but when I look at his profile, there are pictures of him and/or his "ex" all over the place. No profile pictures, but still. His relationship status is invisible so I am starting to wonder... Could this guy be a cheater? A weirdo? Please help! I'm at a loss... Don't think I have ever seen something like this before...
goldway90 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 He mentioned he recently got out of a 1.5 year relationship Ding Ding Ding red flag. He could be cheating or just rebounding i'd be careful if i were you.
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Sure...he could be...but cheater or not, to me, the big red flag is in the love-bombing. I just have rarely, rarely seen that be a good sign. It could be the M.O. of a cheater, or someone who runs very hot and then very cold, or someone who wants to "establish trust" in order to get into your pants quickly and then back out just as quickly, but whatever the plan, as I said...it's just generally not good. 2
Larryville Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 A young lady in the office was a OLD novice and mentioned using Tinder and all the other kids laughed... "looking for a hookup?" they all asked. She was told to Google "Tinder for cheaters" she got it. Yes some of you will say Tinder is like all other dating apps... sure ok:lmao: Continue to be shocked:D 2
Mrin Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 IIRC Tinder is hooked to your FB profile and the relationship status needs to be something other than in a relationship with
Erik30 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Could be on the rebound, but he might not even be doing it consciously. Sure he could be a cheater, but it would be really dumb to do it publicly on Tinder... You noticing him getting super attached already is a red flag though, (after just 2 days!) and might be a sign that he's not over his ex. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with the communication. Not every day has to be a texting marathon, and you barely know this guy. You already set up a date, so maybe he wants to save the next conversation for Saturday. He'll probably still text you soon anyway
VeveCakes Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Yes. Tones of them on Tinder. First thing I do is search their number on Fb. So many ppl in relationships on there. 2
VeveCakes Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 IIRC Tinder is hooked to your FB profile and the relationship status needs to be something other than in a relationship with Not true at all
Miss Spider Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 I'd bet good money that cheaters make up over half of tinder. They say it's about half, but I think that number's low. Many just get on there and chat endlessly or just match to see if they still got it so it's not "technically" cheating
GoldSparkz Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Yes this guy sounds dodgy spending all this time texting you, why can't he call? Unless there's someone else in the background. Also throughout all this texting, has he made any plays to meet? If not, this is a red flag. It sounds like you've been 'humouring' him while he's waiting for his ex to get back in touch. I would start pulling away from this guy. You deserve better. 1
ashy555 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I have a real hard time believing this '50% of tinder users are in relationships' business. Absolute BS. Unless the person is an idiot, he will not use his/her real photos. From the profile, you can usually tell as some hide their faces. I always try to look for them on facebook to see if they are real as well, otherwise I am very weary. If you use tinder with your real photos. Your significant others friends and family WILL come across you at some stage. Would you be stupid enough to risk it? (I know some people are but I would think that would be a minority) My ex was on tinder for the first 6 months of his relationship 2 years ago and was active all the time. I couldn't believe it. Sure enough, his gfs twin sister came across him. He got away with it lol.
ashy555 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Also tinder is not just for hook ups. My 45yo aunty met her partner on tinder. Quite a few of my friends are in long term relationships with someone they met on tinder. There are a lot that are genuine. Obviously there are a lot who aren't but you can usually figure that out fairly quickly if you're smart. 2
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Hi all, Thanks for your responses! I have broken the topics down as it seems that some people focus on one or two aspects. 1) I am aware that Tinder is a hook up app for some but I don't intend to use it as such. Yes, I have received "wanna hook up tonight" messages but I always unmatch those people. Many also flake out of a conversation, or I flake out if it seems boring. Nevertheless, I really hit it off with this guy. 2) He is definitely the person he says he is. He has added me on FB so I have access to his pictures and information there and it is the same. No catfish. 3) He has asked me out on a date and set it up for Saturday. I don't engage in such excessive texting if there wasn't any prospect of meeting. However, what I don't get is the following: 1) Why is he so invested so soon? Mental issues? What's the reason behind this 2) His ex(?)/gf(?) seems to be in every picture. I know the break up was recent but he tags her in news article comments which I find very odd. Are they still together? Broken up but still friends? I honestly don't know what to make of this... He says he has serious intentions and my intuition tends to believe that. I'm just very confused.
grays Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 If they were still together he wouldnt have friended you. I have had great text chemistey w a few guys I met online and theyve always turned out to be great in person. I think you should just go with it, but pay attention as always.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 I like him but he has gone quiet for almost 2 days now. I don't know what to think anymore, like will the date happen. Is he suddenly flaking?
Miss Spider Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I like him but he has gone quiet for almost 2 days now. I don't know what to think anymore, like will the date happen. Is he suddenly flaking? Did you try to initiate a convo with him? Initiate one and this should give insight to the answer to that q. 1
Miss Peach Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 IME the guys who have messaged THAT much early on before meeting were either going in for the attention (and could have been coupled) or using it to make me feel more invested hoping to get sex earlier. Going completely silent for 2 days after that is really strange. It seems like he would at least send ONE text. The guys I've run into who have done that did wind up flaking.
kendahke Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Also tinder is not just for hook ups. My 45yo aunty met her partner on tinder. Quite a few of my friends are in long term relationships with someone they met on tinder. There are a lot that are genuine. Obviously there are a lot who aren't but you can usually figure that out fairly quickly if you're smart. My cousin is on there using Tinder as a regular dating app and she's 58.
kendahke Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 He also got super attached almost immediately, making long term plans which I had to refute as I haven't even met the guy... He immediately took that upon himself as in "I'm an idiot" kind of behavior. Who is the idiot? Him or you? Have you two met in person yet? Today, radio silence! He mentioned he recently got out of a 1.5 year relationship. He also added me on fb but when I look at his profile, there are pictures of him and/or his "ex" all over the place. No profile pictures, but still. His relationship status is invisible so I am starting to wonder... Could this guy be a cheater? A weirdo? Please help! I'm at a loss... Don't think I have ever seen something like this before... How recently is recent here? A week ago? That could explain why the pictures haven't been changed out. But if it was longer than a week, I'd say something shady is going on.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 IME the guys who have messaged THAT much early on before meeting were either going in for the attention (and could have been coupled) or using it to make me feel more invested hoping to get sex earlier. Going completely silent for 2 days after that is really strange. It seems like he would at least send ONE text. The guys I've run into who have done that did wind up flaking. I think this makes a lot of sense. He probably felt bad after the break up, downloaded tinder to get a kick but without the intention of ever doing anything. OR He is getting sick of his gf and decided to download tinder to test the waters.
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