Littlefish95 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 My Boyfriend(21) and I (22) were together for 9months. I can say that our relationship was pretty stable, we didn't have any arguments. He always put in a lot of effort during our relationship. I can confidently say that he loved me way more than I loved him. Just two days before we broke up, while texting I got angry at him over something minor and gave him cold replies the next day. His last message was asking me if I'm alright and that he couldn't go to sleep knowing that I was angry. We didn't contact for the next 2 days. I apologised, he told me it didn't matter anymore and that we should just end everything. I was so shocked at the moment and was really baffled because I felt that it wasn't a good reason to breakup for. I kept asking him what's the problem and to meet face to face. He couldn't give me an answer and said that even if we met and got together, it would be because of his soft heartedness. He told me to leave him alone and that he hated relationships. Because I didn't have an answer to why he wanted to break and it was so sudden, I kept pestering him for the next few days. He kept telling me to give him space and I knew I didn't have any self control and therefore asked him to block me from all social media and WhatsApp. A few days later, he confessed to me that he was having some family problems and that we can still be friends and see how it goes. During that period it was really tough because I could sense that he was still avoiding me. For the whole month since the breakup, we didn't meet at all. I managed to persuade him to meet up and it was pointless because he just kept saying to be friends. He told me to listen to his suggestion and that he doesn't have anymore feelings for me. I went home and called him after that, saying that I appreciate what he has done for me during the relationship and I knew that he was sincere. He started crying. The next day he clarified with me again if I wanted to be friends or to cut him off. I told him that we're friends. It was so difficult because he would sometimes ignore my texts or reply in a way that ends the conversation. During those days that I contacted him less, he would initiate more. He added me back on instagram suddenly. We were talking as normal friends and I decided to not contact him for a few days because I didn't want to disturb him and I felt that I had to try moving on. After 5 days, I messaged him to ask how was his week and so on. He replied normally and on that exact day, I found out that he blocked instagram. I felt that I didn't do anything wrong, I wasn't pestering him so why did he suddenly block me? Of course I got upset and asked him why and he replied that he doesn't know. After that he said that it's because he don't see us being together in the future and he got all irritated and angry. He kept asking me to block him and to end everything. At the end, he asked me if it's ok for him to block me and that he will unblock me later. A few days later, I went into his instagram account and found out that he has been messaging different girls since the day of our breakup. He's been asking around girls for hook ups. We haven't contacted For a week. This whole situation has been going on for 2 months. I don't know, I just feel so stupid that I'm still not over him. Why is it that he loved me so much before and right after breaking up with me, he's immediately contacting girls? Why am I suffering over here while he's hooking up? Why don't I hate him? Why do I still wish that he would contact me? Why is he so confusing? Why do I still not have any answers?
ZayKayWill Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 I'm definitely not one to tell you this since I am *so* ****ing guilty of doing this all the time, but try not to logic your way out of this. Logic doesn't win in these kinds of situations. Your emotions are going to need time to heal and only time will be able to tell you when you've fully healed from it. My relationship lasted as long as yours did (a good 9 months) and it's been a year since me and my gf broke up and I'm still not over it...My situation was a bit different than yours, but the point is you loved him and still care about him and probably will continue to care about him for as long as you live. It all comes down to when you've finally accepted that it's finally over and time to move on. Again that will take some time. A lot of time. I'm still not over my relationship even after a year. Idk. Maybe I just haven't matured past that point since it was only my 2nd relationship and my very first "I wanna marry this chick" kind of relationship. I would advice against hating him, by the way. I currently hate my ex girlfriend and it brings nothing but pain. It sucks even worse because even though I hate her, I ALSO STILL love her. It frikkin sucks. Just give it time and you'll be okay. Try your best not to contact him or check his social media stuff. I know that's easier said than done...I'm guilty of doing it myself, but it's only gonna make you long for something that very well may not even happen....good luck to ya. :/
Author Littlefish95 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Posted February 15, 2017 I'm definitely not one to tell you this since I am *so* ****ing guilty of doing this all the time, but try not to logic your way out of this. Logic doesn't win in these kinds of situations. Your emotions are going to need time to heal and only time will be able to tell you when you've fully healed from it. My relationship lasted as long as yours did (a good 9 months) and it's been a year since me and my gf broke up and I'm still not over it...My situation was a bit different than yours, but the point is you loved him and still care about him and probably will continue to care about him for as long as you live. It all comes down to when you've finally accepted that it's finally over and time to move on. Again that will take some time. A lot of time. I'm still not over my relationship even after a year. Idk. Maybe I just haven't matured past that point since it was only my 2nd relationship and my very first "I wanna marry this chick" kind of relationship. I would advice against hating him, by the way. I currently hate my ex girlfriend and it brings nothing but pain. It sucks even worse because even though I hate her, I ALSO STILL love her. It frikkin sucks. Just give it time and you'll be okay. Try your best not to contact him or check his social media stuff. I know that's easier said than done...I'm guilty of doing it myself, but it's only gonna make you long for something that very well may not even happen....good luck to ya. :/ Oh my you're still not over her? I'm kind of afraid of feeling this way for a Long time. Mind if I ask if you are the dumper or dumpee? Did you guys contact each other after the break up?
ZayKayWill Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Oh my you're still not over her? I'm kind of afraid of feeling this way for a Long time. Mind if I ask if you are the dumper or dumpee? Did you guys contact each other after the break up? She dumped me, which would make me the dumpee I guess. When she broke up with me I contacted her maybe 2 weeks after just to get a clarification of what the hell exactly went on. She insisted that we could be friends, but I wasn't having that. Not after the way she broke up with me anyway. I went No Contact about 10 months ago and haven't heard from her since. Basically unfriended her from Facebook which led to her blocking me. Talk about immature. But yeah, it's been a year and it still hurts. Not because she left me, but mostly just the way she left me and the reasons why she did. I have no idea how long it's gonna hurt. I worry it may never heal honestly, but thankfully that's not how we as humans adapt. Most of us anyway. From what I hear there are some people that literally never get over a break up, but I would suspect that that's due to horrible coping strategies and not learning how to accept that they're gone. Idk.
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