joseb Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 You are 2 months out of a 2 year relationship and after 1 date you call this woman 'the one forever' and you give her a silly ultimatum. You're in no emotional shape to be dating. Take time to mourn your ex, rebuild yourself, than think of dating in 6 months. Right now you have lost all sense of good judgement. I agree with this. You are setting yourself up to fall for anyone that shows a bit of interest. I've been there. Best thing you can do for yourself is to take a break until you can be objective. As for this girl, even if you were ready to date she isn't, or not with you anyway, so it's dead in the water.
Author niskanen Posted February 15, 2017 Author Posted February 15, 2017 Yes. But I'm actually 4 months out of the 2y-relationship, not 2 months as someone stated.
goldway90 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Yes, that all makes sense. I see though that you're missing some of the picture. Here's some extra info I feel is essential and does change the perspective a little. I didn't think about it when I wrote the initial post: - She isn't a native english speaker. She's Hungarian. I've had some other quite confusing sentences from her before due to this. Knowing that, there is the possibility that she means that she must figure out how to really end it with the other guy. Or something entirely different. Which could be implied by the 'before I can see you again'. There can be some 'lost in translation' and cultural differences in how you deal with (old) relationships. Which is why I want clarity about what the situation is exactly. - I messaged her yesterday and we had some friendly small talk. So she responds. What is the best, non-confrontational way to ask for what her intentions/reading of the situation is? For all I know, she really could be wanting to see me again, but needs to deal with stuff I know nothing about. You making excuses for her, it doesn't matter if English isn't her first language, she told you " I need time to figure things out" there's no hidden meaning. You need to stop contacting her and having some "friendly" talk, pursuing a woman who told you she needs time is a needy behavior, i see you heading to the friendzone at full speed. If a woman tells you i need time then let her come to you. And when she does contact you, just make a definite date.
Gaeta Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 You are being rejected. If she wanted to be with you she'd be with you and would have NEVER let a whole week go by without contacting you, she'd be too afraid you meet someone else meanwhile. Also, if I had an ex coming back and needed to explain to him we are over that would not stop me from dating a new man I like. She is back with him. And by the way 2 months out of a relationship or 4 months it's the same thing. The way you handle this shows you don't own your head back yet.
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