ExposedBrick Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 I feel really shallow saying this, but I feel like the girl I recently went out with four times was deliberately trying to conceal the size of her butt until the fourth date. I'm not sure that it would have bothered me if I had just known upfront, but it really took the wind out of my sails. Honestly, I never really dated a chick with a big butt, I know some guys are into it. I feel very confused though as I was actually really interested in her otherwise. I do feel somewhat deceived. Why would someone false advertise? Am I being shallow? Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 How in the world did she conceal the size of her butt for three dates? 17 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Did she never stand up? Did she never walk? The fact that you couldn't check out her rear end until date 4 has me baffled... And does it really matter? its a rear end for goodness sake, if you had 3 dates with her that went great, and you are really liking who you are getting to know, does her butt size really matter? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Yes you are being shallow. You are dating the whole person not just one body part. You also aren't making much sense. How does one conceal their butt? Did she never stand in your presence. Don't try to make things work with her however. She deserves better. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Well there's 2 ways of looking at it. Yes it is quite shallow to choose a mate based on the size of their butt. That is what primates and other animals do, you see it on nature programs all the time. The one with the biggest tail, best mane, brightest feathers, gets to reproduce and the rest are out of luck. As humans are social animals and like to think of ourselves as more evolved, we care more about the ability to provide a stable home and happy upbringing for our offspring, which normally equates to a happy stable relationship -- suggesting that intellectual compatibility is more important than physical appearance. Choosing (or ruling out) a potential mate due to physical appearance is generally frowned upon and considered shallow. However... you like what you like. If you don't find her butt attractive then no amount of personality can cause you to be attracted to her. If you're more concerned about the fact that she "concealed" it then I have news for you. People conceal things all the time. Push-up bras, make-up, concealer, eye shadow, hair styles and yes Spanx etc would all fall into the same category. People like to look their best especially when they like someone, and people "false advertise" all the time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 This is really confusing. If someone shaves their leg hair are they also 'deliberately concealing' the fact that they naturally have leg hair? I really can't imagine hauling a guy I'm dating up for wearing a well-tailored shirt and saying, "Hey, you know, I'm pissed that you deliberately concealed the size of your small shoulders." But if that's what works for you... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 Yes you are being shallow. You are dating the whole person not just one body part. You also aren't making much sense. How does one conceal their butt? Did she never stand in your presence. Don't try to make things work with her however. She deserves better. She deliberately wore some clothing that fit looser around her lower body so it wasn't really possible to observe the size and shape. Some dresses and long loose fitting tops do an excellent job of concealing those big butts. I do feel like I'm being shallow as I really enjoyed hanging out with her otherwise. Most women and men my age probably have a greater than ideal body fat percentage from sitting at desks all day. Honestly, I hate myself for letting this bother me. How can I re-frame it mentally? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Well now I've seen it all... She wore looser clothing to conceal the size of her butt. Women do this everyday... Dude, you are funny... 9 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 When you say a big butt do you mean like Nikki Minaj or big and flat? If it's like Nikki's how in the world could she hide it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 hmm i have spanx.. does wonders for my muffin top... I have makeup good for hiding blemishes or wrinkles... i have small boobs and wear a wonderful push up bra man i'm a walking lie! I'll never find the one now 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Honestly, I hate myself for letting this bother me. How can I re-frame it mentally? Try that woman with the big butt and you will see. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 hmm i have spanx.. ( Trickery, trickery, trickery! Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 I feel that you weren't purposefully deceived. Women do this everyday. And men who are balding wear baseball caps. They're not trying to hide it from you to deceive you, they're trying to hide it from themselves. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Larryville Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 So this is seriously a real thread and not a reality show prank? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 You should've spanked her by the second date to get an idea about her butt size 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 I would like to know how big this butt is. I have a big butt too, but like full and round and the kind people pay money for. I'm thin though. Is she looking good everywhere else? Is the butt so big it flattens? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 I would like to know how big this butt is. I have a big butt too, but like full and round and the kind people pay money for. I'm thin though. Is she looking good everywhere else? Is the butt so big it flattens? I'm not sure what you mean by flattens. The butt is sort of out of proportion which is maybe what throws me off. She does have a very pretty face and the rest of her body seems good. I'm starting to wonder if this is some sort of self sabotage. I always find my brain going to weird places early on in the dating process. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Fear of getting close to someone so you have to scramble for an excuse to get out? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 You aren't shallow, we all have tastes and you have a right to like what you like. I don't think you have a right to be annoyed either. Everyone should dress in clothes that flatter their body. I hardly think her doing that is being deceitful in any way. Honestly if it took you 4 dates to notice she had a big butt, it can't be that big? lol 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 You aren't shallow, we all have tastes and you have a right to like what you like. I don't think you have a right to be annoyed either. Everyone should dress in clothes that flatter their body. I hardly think her doing that is being deceitful in any way. Honestly if it took you 4 dates to notice she had a big butt, it can't be that big? lol It's actually probably not an excessively big butt. It's probably normal but my two long term gf's were very lean, so it may seem bigger than normal to me. I do feel like when I first start dating someone I have had this unusual problem where I fixate on one less than ideal trait, but later accept it as I form an emotional bond with the person. I don't get why this happens with me. I did used to be overweight as a child, but worked hard to become fit at age 16, overcoming a lack of family support. I can't help but wonder if this has, in a very unusual way, made me more critics of body types. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 (edited) Let me ask the question a different way. Would you still date someone if there was one physical quality about them that was less than ideal/somewhat unattractive, especially if the person had other redeeming qualities? In the age of endless option online dating, I find it hard to know when to stop searching and appreciate what I have, as we all have our imperfections. Edited February 14, 2017 by ExposedBrick Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Let me ask the question a different way. Would you still date someone if there was one physical quality about them that was less than ideal/somewhat unattractive, especially if the person had other redeeming qualities? Keep in mind that I don't OLD, but yes, I've had that scenario several times, including a big butt. Not that these women were unattractive, but my last gf was taller than I, for example. The sex was great and we loved each other, even though we looked like a very odd couple for a number of reasons. Sometimes it just feels right. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Most women here will be upset at a guy complaining a woman is too large in one area or another. Those same women may be miffed if a guy successfully hid a huge beer gut. There are plenty of women who won't go out with a guy for various reasons. Nothing wrong with having a type you like. But unless you really fall for her it will continue to bother you. There are plenty of guys who won't date a girl who's butt is too small. No one gets upset with them and throws out the "real woman" line. They like big butts, and they cannot lie Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 She only did what almost every woman does, and most men: emphasize her good assets, and minimize the flaws. You have no right to be annoyed. You do have the right to not like what you discovered - that's a matter of taste and attraction, and you may be able to get past it since you apparently like her otherwise. But (pun intended), if you can't get past it, just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Maybe you watched Seinfeld one too many times. Just pass on her. Lots of guys love a booty. I would hate for a guy to date me that wasn't attracted to my figure. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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