Zahara Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Thanks everyone for the advice. I know that what I did was wrong but I found out that he hooked up with a couple girls when he first moved here and we were long distance. His reasoning was that our relationship was still new (4 months) and he didn't love me at that time. He wasn't mad that I tricked him. He just said "well, guess it's over. Sorry I let you down" and has been mean to me ever since. He's sleeping in the living room of our apartment and when I went to get a drink from the fridge last night he spat in it because he didn't want me drinking something that he bought. Those were two huge red flags. I am not sure why you still decided to move to him. I'm hoping you get out of there and move back or find your own place. That last part about spitting in your drink -- an indicator of what's to come. Thankfully you aren't going to be around for that to happen.
Author judorehume Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 Were you exclusive when he cheated? Looks like he won't even try to fight to keep you. This relationship is over. Sorry. Yes we were , in fact he is the one who asked for us to be exclusive a week before he moved but was on dating sites and hooking up as soon as he got into town. When I looked back at our conversations the dates he did it ,he was extra romantic toward me. Now I feel like any time he went out of his way to say something special, he was doing so out of guilt or to make me have no reason to doubt him.
Author judorehume Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 Those were two huge red flags. I am not sure why you still decided to move to him. I'm hoping you get out of there and move back or find your own place. That last part about spitting in your drink -- an indicator of what's to come. Thankfully you aren't going to be around for that to happen. What are you implying is yet to come ?
Author judorehume Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 To be clear, I didn't find out about this until after moving in with him. Our relationship was great while we were long distance . We saw each other every month and spent school breaks together . He even bought me many plane tickets or drove to meet me halfway. He put in a lot of effort and I didn't think a guy who cared like that would be messing around.
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Get yourself together & get out of there as fast as you can. If he's spitting in drinks he's a sick mean man. 1
Zahara Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 What are you implying is yet to come ? He spit in your drink. He sounds mean and vindictive. Trust that there is more to come, more about this man you don't know about. Thank your lucky stars you're on your way out.
dumbass2 Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 "Our relationship was great while we were long distance" Of course it was. He was still free to do whatever he wanted when you weren't around. It's a ton different when you have to see someone every day. Okay, so you've got all the answers you need. Now the decision is yours and it is obvious to everyone on here, but what are you going to do?
Author judorehume Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 I'm definitely leaving. I talked to him a few minutes ago and asked why he wanted me to move in with him if he cared so little. He told me he was just using me because I was dumb enough to let him. He also said I'm the only person he'll ever treat this way. And lots of other really hurtful things . So our entire relationship was a game to him basically. I'm completely beside myself right now. I can't believe this is reality.
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 I'm definitely leaving. I talked to him a few minutes ago and asked why he wanted me to move in with him if he cared so little. He told me he was just using me because I was dumb enough to let him. He also said I'm the only person he'll ever treat this way. And lots of other really hurtful things . So our entire relationship was a game to him basically. I'm completely beside myself right now. I can't believe this is reality. OMG what an arse! I am so sorry. Don't talk to him anymore and remember he says these things because he knows they are hurtful and it doesn't mean it's all true. Do you have friends and family around? Can you just go and get your things when he's not there?
Zahara Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 I'm definitely leaving. I talked to him a few minutes ago and asked why he wanted me to move in with him if he cared so little. He told me he was just using me because I was dumb enough to let him. He also said I'm the only person he'll ever treat this way. And lots of other really hurtful things . So our entire relationship was a game to him basically. I'm completely beside myself right now. I can't believe this is reality. Arsehole. Don't speak to him anymore. Try and get out of there as soon as you can.
KBob Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 I'm happy for you that you uncovered this guy for what he is and will now rid yourself of him, but I must caution you on using your method in future relationships. If a woman pretended to be an ex to entrap me and find out my reaction as a test and I passed said test (which I know I would because I'm not a cheater), it would make me very wary of trusting her sincerity or intentions toward me in the future. I would give it more thought if in a serious relationship but as I type this my gut feeling would be to break it off. 2
Author judorehume Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 I'm happy for you that you uncovered this guy for what he is and will now rid yourself of him, but I must caution you on using your method in future relationships. If a woman pretended to be an ex to entrap me and find out my reaction as a test and I passed said test (which I know I would because I'm not a cheater), it would make me very wary of trusting her sincerity or intentions toward me in the future. I would give it more thought if in a serious relationship but as I type this my gut feeling would be to break it off. Yes what I did was dishonest but I wouldn't have thought of doing it if I didn't have reason to think he'd fail the test. That doesn't mean my intentions for him were insincere. Obviously his intentions with me were though.
stillafool Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Well now you know his true intentions was he really doesn't care about you so perhaps that will help you move on from him and heal. Good luck.
Popsicle Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 I'm definitely leaving. I talked to him a few minutes ago and asked why he wanted me to move in with him if he cared so little. He told me he was just using me because I was dumb enough to let him. He also said I'm the only person he'll ever treat this way. And lots of other really hurtful things . So our entire relationship was a game to him basically. I'm completely beside myself right now. I can't believe this is reality. He's being a jackass because he was caught doing something that upset you. You definitely should give him what he wants and leave (also for yourself) before he changes his mind. He is too immature.
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 I'm definitely leaving. I talked to him a few minutes ago and asked why he wanted me to move in with him if he cared so little. He told me he was just using me because I was dumb enough to let him. He also said I'm the only person he'll ever treat this way. And lots of other really hurtful things . So our entire relationship was a game to him basically. I'm completely beside myself right now. I can't believe this is reality. He was furious at having gotten caught. Well, this was an unhealthy relationship all around and now you can move forward. I am really sorry because I know you must be hurting, but it's for the best that you move forward from this.
Author judorehume Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 Annnnd he's already on dating sites today.
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 All the hateful garbage he said to you was a lie. He simply wanted to hurt you. Pack up. Move out. Start healing. 2
kendahke Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Thanks everyone for the advice. I know that what I did was wrong but I found out that he hooked up with a couple girls when he first moved here and we were long distance. His reasoning was that our relationship was still new (4 months) and he didn't love me at that time. He wasn't mad that I tricked him. He just said "well, guess it's over. Sorry I let you down" and has been mean to me ever since. He's sleeping in the living room of our apartment and when I went to get a drink from the fridge last night he spat in it because he didn't want me drinking something that he bought. Yeah... time to find a new place to live.
Shanex Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 While I dislike your modus operandi, which is twisted imo. It is true that trust is lost here and there's no point in maintaining the failing relationship.
ElizabethIII Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 I would have taken it much further. because now he can say it is just words. I would have seen if he started flirting or sex chat and made plans to meet him and then showed up and revealled the truth. But in any case you have enough evidence to end it. Actually you dont need a reason to end a relationship. He said he was kind of seeing? WTF!
ElizabethIII Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Just read the latest updates....good god so better off without. he is just pissed off he got caught. I bet he has been cheating all along.
phineas Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 He told her that he still thinks about her, that he wishes they could catch up, that he's "kind of seeing someone", that she was awesome, that he was glad she texted him, and that he'd definitely let her know when he's back in town. That is NOT letting someone down. That is a first step toward cheating. I get contacted by ex all the time. I tell them I am glad they're doing well and I met a wonderful man and I could not be happier. He is kind of seeing someone?? They are living together for goodness sake! err i thought BF said OP was awesome. If not then yeah, time to move out then seek a shrink cause going through all that to catch her BF is cray cray.
Recommended Posts