eyeballkid Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Hey all. I'm a 30 y/o guy. I'm in a fairly intimate grad program. Last semester, I met a 26 y/o girl who had a boyfriend. Immediately found her attractive, but didn't think much of it since she was off the market. Over the semester, we got to know one another and I learned she wasn't happy with her guy. Close to the end of the semester, I finally made a move on her after feeling intense chemistry. We made out a bunch and I spent the night. She had just split up with her guy. Then, she went back to her family for winter break. When she got back, we went to a new years party where we flirted and ended up kissing at midnight. I spent the night again. No sex, but still pretty steamy. I asked her out later that week, and she pumped the brakes stating she needed some time to reset after her breakup. I was bummed, but whatever. We ended up hanging out like, twice a week since and eventually, I just made another move and she reciprocated. We've been going on dates once or twice a week since. I've spent the night a few more times. There was some heavy petting in bed last time, but I'm not trying to force things, so that's fine. Anyway, last time we hung out, we ended up back at her place and she said she didn't want it to be a sleepover because she had a ton to do the next day for school and needed the sleep. Meh, okay. I figure we wouldn't have slept much if I slept over, so okay. Being in the same program, I understand. She just turned down Valentine's Day dinner, which I played off as whatever. I'm justifying it as not only does she have a big presentation to prepare for on Wednesday, but v day is sort of perceived as a little heavy, so maybe she's not ready for that. I want to ask her out for this weekend, because i DO think she would be interested, but don't want to come across to strong or clingy. I want her to ask me out. I'm also a little disconcerted that she wouldn't have wanted me to spend the night. We were spooning and making out on the couch that evening. I was playing with her tits, it was pretty hot. She gets a little bashful if I compliment her, or kiss her, so I'm pretty sure she still digs me, I just wish she would not...hold back? I also wish she would let me know how she is feeling about everything. I'm totally fine with taking things slow, but I would love to know where she sees this going without putting pressure on "the relationship". We have talked about what we want in a partner, and we basically describe each other. Our makeouts are passionate, the conversation is great, and being in the same grad program, we are on a similar career path. I can't get her off of my mind, she's the total package as far as I'm concerned, so I don't want to screw this up or chase her away. I appreciate any advice, and sorry for the length!
meeji Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Isn't this girl getting over her bf?... I mean, it's great that you vibe with her but let the girl breathe a bit. Give her some space and she will come to you when she's ready. 1
Author eyeballkid Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 Isn't this girl getting over her bf?... I mean, it's great that you vibe with her but let the girl breathe a bit. Give her some space and she will come to you when she's ready. Honestly, I don't think she's hung up on her ex. If anything, I'd say it would be the fact that she was just in a relationship and wouldn't want to jump into something else so soon perhaps? I'm just having a hard time balancing pursuit vs holding back since we do get physical and go on dates.
goldway90 Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 She turned down sex (her not letting you spend the night), Valentine's Day dinner and you still want to ask her out again next weekend? this bit needy from you give her some space, be mysterious and less available. Also if you're playing with a woman's tits and not having sex something is wrong here. I asked her out later that week, and she pumped the brakes stating she needed some time to reset after her breakup I don't think you're both on the same page here, you want a relationship and she just wants something casual, she already made it clear. 2
Author eyeballkid Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 She turned down sex (her not letting you spend the night), Valentine's Day dinner and you still want to ask her out again next weekend? this bit needy from you give her some space, be mysterious and less available. Also if you're playing with a woman's tits and not having sex something is wrong here. I don't think you're both on the same page here, you want a relationship and she just wants something casual, she already made it clear. re: the pumping the brakes, that was early January. re: turning down sex, I mean, we haven't done it yet. tbh, she doesn't seem like someone that gives it up easily/is a bit reserved. She's been topless in bed and as I mentioned, there has been some heavy petting and I'd try to escalate further but she didn't want to. We'd be dry humping and what not, haha, so she is into it but I guess wants to make me wait for it? Anyway, your advice sounds right.
GoldSparkz Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 I'm gonna sound old-fashioned here, but if you are both studying on these intense courses, then why are you thinking about a relationship?! If you put yourself in her shoes - she's got a lot of school work and just recently broke up with her boyfriend. She's maxed out..leave her to concentrate on her studies and you focus on your own.
Erik30 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 (edited) I think she still needs time to get over her ex. You started dating her pretty quick after her breakup so there's a chance you might be a rebound... If you don't want to chase her away, you probably should avoid all these serious conversations about relationship status and your possible future together, that will just remind her of her ex. Just have fun with her, if you're fine with something casual for now Edited February 15, 2017 by Erik30
phineas Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 re: the pumping the brakes, that was early January. re: turning down sex, I mean, we haven't done it yet. tbh, she doesn't seem like someone that gives it up easily/is a bit reserved. She's been topless in bed and as I mentioned, there has been some heavy petting and I'd try to escalate further but she didn't want to. We'd be dry humping and what not, haha, so she is into it but I guess wants to make me wait for it? Anyway, your advice sounds right. when women act this way they are either just wanting your attention and not you or they have issues. Either way, you are chasing after this girl when she should be coming to you after acting that way.
Recommended Posts