Guys are idiots...why do they brake up with girls they adore?

[honeybunch2k5]

Today my boyfriend broke up with me. He said all kinds of crap like he couldn't express himself and that he is a loner. I thought he really liked me, it was something about the way he looked and smiled at me, but I guess not.

 

For the past week he's been ignoring my phone calls and supposedly everyone else's calls. I go over there today, and he breaks up with me. He was nice about it.

 

He gave several reasons for breaking up:

He's going to Iraq and I'm going to college, he says i'll be able to meet plenty of people

 

He's scum

 

I'm going to college and he's not, and therefore i'm doing so much better than him

 

He can't open up to other people

 

My mom doesn't like him

 

Supposedly, it has nothing to do with me, which i question. He said it was like he was losing his best friend. My answer to that is: well then jack*ss don't break up w/ me!!! And he cried. This guy is kind of macho and he cried. The last time he did that was 9/11.

 

 

Why do guys break up with girls they really like? We had a good thing going?

[d'Arthez]

College - Because you are both young. And Iraq and college are two most dissimilar worlds to enter. These will be life-altering experiences for the both of you. You would be hardly able to relate to his experience (unless you are very familiar with gang wars), and neither could he to yours. You will meet plenty of people. And he feels a relationship would be restricting to your life, in a way he is not comfortable with it. For instance when you meet better men than him, you would abstain from pursuing anything with them. And if it does happen, he would get a "Dear John" letter. Not something he needs to look forward to.

 

Without knowing your bf, I can't comment on the "scum" part, but he might simply be afraid that he could not offer you the life you deserve in his mind.

 

Emotional closedness is not a good argument. Some people love that about others. It is his way of dealing with the world, and not necessarily a bad one.

 

Your mom - yes, but he is not in a relationship with her (the thought probably inspires terror in him). But given your age, your mom is still an important, if not the most important, person in your life. Moms have great control and influence on your relationships, whether you like it or not. But if he were to remain in a relationship with you, he'd have to fight an uphill battle for many years to come, without the certainty of a happy ending between him and your mom. And it will have its consequences for you too.

 

As for why a good guy breaks up with his gf:

He may have well realized that your lifes are heading in different directions. To maintain a relationship with someone who is literally on the other end of the world is hard in the luckiest of circumstances. College and Iraq are both highly detrimental to the chances of sustaining it. When he gets out of Iraq, you might be barely able to recognize him psychologically speaking. In short, chances of a good relationship working out under these circumstances are next to nothing.

[LucreziaBorgia]

They break up with girls they really like, because the relationship isn't working for them anymore.

 

You can like someone as a person and not like the relationship you have with them. That sounds like what happened here. He just lacked the ability to be truthful with you about it. If the relationship was working, and he was as happy with you as he let on - he'd still be with you, regardless of the circumstances. He'd find a way to make it work. As it is, he wasn't invested in the relationship enough to put forth any effort like that. It was probably just easier to walk away and make it look like you were "victims of circumstance" - that way, at least should he decide to come back he knows he's left the door open a crack. He can say "but I always loved you, and never wanted to leave you... blah, blah, blah."

[Devildog]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia

that way, at least should he decide to come back he knows he's left the door open a crack. He can say "but I always loved you, and never wanted to leave you... blah, blah, blah."

 

Well he can't use that line anymore Lucrezia. Way to blow that one for him!