mag1x Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 (edited) So I have been with with this guy for 7ish months. I had a talk with him and I asked him where he our relationship going. He stated that he hasn't really thought about his future and what he is looking for. Then he said that I am better than everyone else. What does this mean? Edited February 13, 2017 by mag1x
basil67 Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 So I have been with with this guy for 7ish months. I had a talk with him and I asked him where he our relationship going. He stated that he hasn't really thought about his future and what he is looking for. Then he said that I am better than everyone else. What does this mean? This is where conversational skills come in handy. If a person tells you something which you don't understand, ask what they mean. Anyway, at a guess, it means that you're better than the rest but not good enough to commit to. 3
Redhead14 Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 So I have been with with this guy for 7ish months. I had a talk with him and I asked him where he our relationship going. He stated that he hasn't really thought about his future and what he is looking for. Then he said that I am better than everyone else. What does this mean? It means he doesn't have a "5-year plan" and so he can dodge questions like this from girls who will accept a nebulous response and string herself along until he does think about his future and what he is looking for. he said that I am better than everyone else -- He's throwing you a bone -- just enough to keep you hanging around thinking you might be "the one". If you open a conversation looking for answers, make sure you get a clear answer. If someone says something you don't understand, ask for clarification. I would end it simply because you aren't on the same page in terms of dating goals -- he doesn't even have a goal. 6
AdentureWithMe Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 Did you tell him what you want/where you see it going? Are you expecting him to say he might see you as a wife? That's a big thing to say/commit to in 7 months. If you said something definitive I think he should have as well. But if you left it up in the air or didn't voice your opinion that could be why he's so indecisive as well.
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 How old are you both and when you met was he just out of a relationship? He has no plans = killing time with you.
SevenCity Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 7 months is way early to be talking about the next step. He could have deflected the question because he likes you but is not ready to make a commitment more than boyfriend for now. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you neccessarily, he may just not be ready to talk marriage or moving in when it hasn't even been a year. What are you looking for the next step to be?
Author mag1x Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 It stemmed from a conversation about it him not making an effort and me being an option. I'm just wanted the purpose of this to be to find out if we are right for each other. Not just being together for the fun of it.
SevenCity Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 It stemmed from a conversation about it him not making an effort and me being an option. I'm just wanted the purpose of this to be to find out if we are right for each other. Not just being together for the fun of it. That's a bit different. If you feel like you are only an option you likely are. 1
Author mag1x Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 We are in our mid 20's. He was not just out of a relationship.
kendahke Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Why do you want to stick around based on what he said to you?
smackie9 Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Wow really? I don't think he is giving you the brush off or biding his time with you. He is saying, the relationship is great so far, and it's too early to have that decision yet, he still getting to know you and building a relationship. I feel a direct question like that should be around the year and a half mark. I get it some people have different priorities tho so that being said: You should have discussed this generically at the beginning of your relationship. If you want marriage and children within the next five years, it's kind of important to get a feel for the person you have started dating where their priorities are at....none of this shoot first and ask questions later. Now if you don't like his answer, then you need to revisit this conversation with him and let him know your expectations. If he is scared off, then it is a good thing. It just goes to show you he had no interest in a future with you, and you didn't waste your time. 1
GoldSparkz Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 He sounds like a slow burner and you sound like you would prefer things to progress faster. In my experience, if a guy met the woman of his dreams, he's going to want to pin her down quickly. So it could be that he isn't as interested in you as you are in him.
central Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Communication is key - revisit the topic, but think carefully about what you want and your timeframe. Foolish decisions are often made in haste, and regretted in leisure. 1
AdentureWithMe Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 What else does he have doing on in his life now? Anything that he's particularly tied up with? He may just be saying he likes you a lot but it's too early to tell in the relationship if there's a definite future together. That's fine and that's why we date/ to discover this over time. Are you guys exclusive? If you are and he said that... I think things are fine. He's just happy where things are now and can't predict much further. Maybe a conversation to save for after a year or so together
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Although you phrased it oddly -- as an option -- as opposed to this being casual, your instincts were right. He's not serious yet. Take his answer literally. He has not thought about the future. He's happy with the right now. On the spot when pressed he said you are better than other relationships. Take the compliment but don't over analyze the rest.
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