Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 I suppose he is manipulating me by talking about trips, future, changing and so on? Absolutely! This is 'future-talk.' Manipulators talk about what WILL happen w/o having to make immediate plans to action to make them reality. They tend to 'hook' the person by having them HOPE for what is better to come, but it seldom comes or lasts. There is no indication that he is a person ready for a healthy relationship and he knows it. So, he concocts FUTURE scenarios to keep you around. 1
Author stargaz Posted May 7, 2017 Author Posted May 7, 2017 Absolutely! This is 'future-talk.' Manipulators talk about what WILL happen w/o having to make immediate plans to action to make them reality. They tend to 'hook' the person by having them HOPE for what is better to come, but it seldom comes or lasts. There is no indication that he is a person ready for a healthy relationship and he knows it. So, he concocts FUTURE scenarios to keep you around. But why keep me around?
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 But why keep me around? I hate to say this, but it may very well be b/c he doesn't have another lady-friend that will tolerate his crap. His actions do not show love, rather, control and conflict. He needs to have someone who has their act together b/c he can't get his together. It happens in a lot of relationships, unfortunately. All that crying...not about how he loves you, it is desperation. He doesn't want to lose you b/c you represent an easier road for his inability to get himself together. 1
smackie9 Posted May 7, 2017 Posted May 7, 2017 They always have backup....his ex, and when that fell flat, he's trying to hoover you back with more of what you want to hear. Self entitlement/master manipulator.
Author stargaz Posted May 7, 2017 Author Posted May 7, 2017 I hate to say this, but it may very well be b/c he doesn't have another lady-friend that will tolerate his crap. His actions do not show love, rather, control and conflict. He needs to have someone who has their act together b/c he can't get his together. It happens in a lot of relationships, unfortunately. All that crying...not about how he loves you, it is desperation. He doesn't want to lose you b/c you represent an easier road for his inability to get himself together. I think this is spot on. He told me he used to hide his drinking habits. But ofc in long relationship it will surface and truth always comes out. 1
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