BrightlyBlazing Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 So I've recently started seeing someone that I'm very attracted to, but there's some confusing stuff going on, and my last partner kind spun my head about what's reasonable and unreasonable in a relationship, so I was wondering if I could get outsider perspectives on this: Before we started seeing each other, she mentioned (we're both gay women) that a couple months ago she'd asked her best friend out and been rejected and that things have been icy between them ever since, but they still hang out and talk pretty regularly. A couple nights ago she said she was feeling sad about it and wished she had handled things differently. She also initially didn't want to tell her about us when we started seeing each other, but I guess it came up accidentally and now she knows. I'm getting not-quite-over-my-last-love-interest vibes off of this. Red Flag? Before we got together, she spent weeks sending me smutty fanfictions and asking me questions about sexual tastes and long term relationship goals and even kids' names, but the first thing she said to me after we made out on our first date was basically that she didn't want me to get too invested in her. I was a bit surprised when she said this. She also said she wanted to take things slow, and I was 100% cool with that, but in the weeks/month or so since we started seeing each other she's been posting pictures of apartments 'for me to look at' and Sex Positions 'for me to do to her' (even though she says she doesn't wanna have sex yet) and Super Lovey Dovey status updates on her social media feed and asking me in private if I'd consider getting a dog with her in the future and whether we could host a dinner party for her friends and calling me sweet nicknames and sleeping over in my bed/arms (spooning) after hanging out at my place all night and saying she doesn't want to leave in the morning and that she wishes she could come home to me every day and it's confusing the crap out of me. Red Flag? I'm just not really sure what's going on here, but I'm starting to think I'm turning into some kind of rebound relationship and having just gotten my heart broke in one of those, I'd really like to avoid doing that again. Any input here would be fantastic.
HangnTN Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 You need to bring crazy into your life because?
Gaeta Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 There are red flags all over it. Yes you are the rebound girl. It will die as fast as it took off the ground. She is using you to fill the void. Do yourself a favor and go find someone with a past well behind them.
SunnyWeather Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 call her out on her BS game-playing. her words are not matching up with her actions. ask her why.
preraph Posted February 13, 2017 Posted February 13, 2017 She is hung up on her best friend and using you to put up a front that she has moved on and has a girlfriend, but she's holding you at arm's length. She is probably hoping her best friend reads her texts and gets jealous. This is not a good thing. Her sending you sex positions trying to titillate you is rude since she's not having sex with you. I want you to read through your post as if she was a man and her best friend was a woman and then read it all as if she was a man and tell me if you'd find this man smarmy or not.
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