AX2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) Hello! Heartbroken fool over here... So 4 months ago my ex broke up with me and we have been in NC for a month now. We didnt speak much at all after the break up and the last conversation we did have was over a call and at first she seemed very angry with me but soon calmed down. Over the course of that call she even laughed a bit here and there so we didn't leave on awful terms or anything. She said she knows that I have changed (I made a few mistakes near the end) and that she believes I have improved. But recently (during sometime this week) she blocked me on facebook and snapchat but then unblocked me from skype? (this doesnt make a whole deal of sense seeing as we havent spoken in a month and why still remain in contact if she blocks me on one thing and unblocks me on another?) I'm not sure what this means and I'd really like to win her back as we had a 2 year strong relationship and we were very compatible and shared many interests and were also very understanding of each other - it just clicked. I know that before I was with her she loved me and I was with another woman (knowing full well what her and I were doing together) and yet she still loved me and waited it out. So what does this fb block and skype unblock mean? I'm confused I'm curious to see what you guys think! EDIT: additional info Since the breakup I've been training even harder in the gym and focusing more on my school work whilst also going out and socialising and trying new things out. So during this NC I have also been improving myself - does that improve my chances at all? Edited February 12, 2017 by AX2017 Extra info
spiderowl Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 If she broke up with you, then it is up to her to take the initiative to re-engage with you if she wants to. I would ignore whatever she does until she makes a deliberate effort to make contact. Blocking/unblocking could just be a muddle and is not a way of contacting you.
Author AX2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 By muddle do you mean accident? I haven't ever needed to block anyone before but I would assume you have to purposefully search for the person to do it? She is still trying to leave a communication gateway open which is pissing me off slight as it is giving me hope yet also slowing down my progression with moving on - I dont want to block her because I dont want her to think she is still on my mind
spiderowl Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 By muddle do you mean accident? I haven't ever needed to block anyone before but I would assume you have to purposefully search for the person to do it? She is still trying to leave a communication gateway open which is pissing me off slight as it is giving me hope yet also slowing down my progression with moving on - I dont want to block her because I dont want her to think she is still on my mind Possibly, who knows? It must be confusing for you. If she left though, you should not have to chase her. Ultimately, it has to be your decision but by trying to contact her you would be condoning her behaviour and you really don't want more of the same in the future if you did reconcile. She needs to show some initiative not just leave a window open. The only way in which leaving a window open might be acceptable, as I see it, is if you did something pretty unforgivable and ought to apologise. This does not seem to be the case though.
Author AX2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 Well when we broke up I did apologise for my wrong doings and it was all left on good terms and such. So she already has the apology and evidence i've made a change...so who knows what's going through her head.
DarrenB Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 My assumption is that you're only making all these 'improvements' in an attempt to reconcile with her, nothing more and nothing less. Whether or not you're staying true to yourself and developing and maturing for your own cause, only you know that. You won't get anywhere with her or anywhere in life with the mentality of doing something in the hopes of getting something back in return. Life doesn't really work that way, you do it for your own benefits. 1
Author AX2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 I understand and whilst it may seem that way I do not in any way expect her back. Of course I would like it, but it seems to be worth the pain considering the lesson learned and the improvements i've made and character I'm developing. - if she came back she would see the correction, but if she doesn't then I can put the experience towards a future with somebody else.
Author AX2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 So my ex and I haven't spoken in a month and have been apart for 4 months and she recently blocked me on facebook but unblocked me on skype -so its clear she wants to keep in contact some way...but I don't know if I should just out right block her on skype to prevent her contacting me on that. If she can't block me on all platforms is she somehow unsure of her decision? would blocking her on skype make me appear even less available to her and perhaps increase my chances of reconciliation?
mightycpa Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 So my ex and I haven't spoken in a month and have been apart for 4 months and she recently blocked me on facebook but unblocked me on skype -so its clear she wants to keep in contact some way...but I don't know if I should just out right block her on skype to prevent her contacting me on that. If she can't block me on all platforms is she somehow unsure of her decision? would blocking her on skype make me appear even less available to her and perhaps increase my chances of reconciliation?She's blocking you on FB because she doesn't want you to see the pictures and the posts. She probably thinks you can't handle it, or she's trying to spare your feelings. You won't see any of that on Skype.
preraph Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 She didn't want you to see what she was doing in her personal life on Facebook. She's locked you out of getting information is all. She left her Skype open because that way, if you want to get any info on her, you'll have to ask. Or she did it by accident and unblocked you when she thought she was blocking you.
Author AX2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Author Posted February 12, 2017 Why would she want me to even ask? Thats a bit cruel is it not. What's stopping her from just blockimg me om everything? Shes leaving this open and its causing more pain
Author AX2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 Dumper and I haven't spoken in over a month, been broken up for 4. She unblocked me on skype (I don't know why and haven't asked). Basically, Should I just block her on everything to help me move on? and if there is a chance of reconciliation...will this destroy it?
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Reconciliation is unlikely. Unfriend / unfollow her. You don't have to block her unless you still have a lot of friends in common. Take her # out of your phone but don't block her. That way she can still reach you in the unlikely event she wants to.
jamili Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Dont block, it could prevent future reconciliation yes. And you are only 1 month in NC... give it a few more months, you will be getting breadcrumbs soon enough. But ignore those too.
Miss Spider Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 (edited) If you want to move on and have a chance of being happy sooner, then block. If you wanna lick breadcrumbs off the floor, scrape the depths for months to years, and prolong your misery, then leave that door open and keep hoping. Edited February 14, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
dumbass2 Posted February 14, 2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Dumper and I haven't spoken in over a month, been broken up for 4. She unblocked me on skype (I don't know why and haven't asked). Basically, Should I just block her on everything to help me move on? and if there is a chance of reconciliation...will this destroy it? Yes you should. No it wont destroy anything. Remember that she blocked you. If she wants to get back, this would not detour her in the least. You need to help yourself get past the relationship. Down the road when you are, that is when reconciliation has the best chance. Not now. Not even close this soon after. 1
Author AX2017 Posted February 14, 2017 Author Posted February 14, 2017 Thank you everyone for your responses. I have removed her from skype (the only place of possible contact left)...but I'll ignore any breadcrumbs (if I get them) until she says something meaningful and sincere. Cheers! 1
jamili Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Good choice imo. Blocking in unecessary unless you lack the emotional strength and discipline to ignore the breadcrumbs. But these guys are right, people only reconcile after they both move on and grow as people. So you literally have to move on, and so does she, or it will never happen. Sounds counterintuitive and weird but its how it works. Out of your control now either way. But leaving a channel open is a good idea imo.
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