RyanO1991 Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Long story short - 6 months ago, my partner who I'd been with for 3 years told me she'd been dating someone else and our relationship ended. 4 months later, I was completely over it. I had no feelings towards her or the relationship whatsoever. This has been the case ever since. I didn't actively seek another relationship as I felt completely happy being single and was enjoying life. Last week, however, I started a new relationship with a girl I'd been dating. She's very open and upfront and communication and intimacy is great. For some reason, I've recently become concerned that maybe this is all happening too fast, that it might not be real and is just a short-lived romance, It's too early for me to say I love her but I feel there's much more of a connection than I've ever had with anyone else I've dated and she's a great woman. I'm just concerned that I might become too invested only for things to fizzle out. Has anyone else had a similar situation?
Telemachus Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 "Love is eternal, for as long as it lasts." (Gabriel Garcia Marquez, quoting a Brazilian songwriter) Assume that it will end and make the most of it while it lasts. It's possible that the two of you will be together for 70 years, till death do you part, but highly unlikely. If you are together 70 years from now, then physical intimacy isn't going to matter much. What does matter now as well as decades from now is honesty/trust and good conversation. Worrying about it flzzling-out at this early stage is like worrying about death instead of enjoying life and making the world a better place with the time that you have.
Gaeta Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Yes it often does that. Just remember you are not in love with her after a week dating and you cannot compare a 1 week relationship to a 3 year relationship. What is happening is you are experiencing NRE New-Relationship-Energy and your brain is flooded again with oxytocin and it's been a while so you think it's the greatest feeling in the world. After a break up, usually people have a few transition relationships before jumping into their next long term relationship. So enjoy it while it last, you may get another 2 weeks of pure bliss out of it.
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 There are no guarantees in life, especially when it comes to relationships. Doesn't matter if you met her 4 months after or a year and a half later...the results will be 50/50. Life would be boring if there were no risks. The journey there is what gives us the excitement....enjoy the ride and see where it will take you. 1
CptInsano Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Has anyone else had a similar situation? Yes, if you are over your ex, there is no way back, and you are comfortable with where you are then time doesn't matter. I have seldom grieved over a relationship for more than 3-4 months if it was truly over . Please, don't try to question what you're doing when things are going your way. But I think you are reading too much into what your current date means. Could it become something great? Yes, of course. But you don't know it yet.
GoldSparkz Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Could it he that you're falling in love but too scared to admit your true feeling because you're scared of getting hurt again?...it sounds like your ex cheated. You only live once, so I would embrace this new relationship and enjoy it without over analysing every situation.
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