KBob Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 A couple months back I made a decision that in about a year I will be leaving the cold, barren wasteland that is the province of Alberta and moving to British Columbia, where I can snowboard and hike to my heart's content! As excited as I am, it does put me in a peculiar place as far as my search for the one, and I'm not sure how to go about it, so I'm looking for advice from people who have been in similar situations. A year is still a long time away, so I'm thinking I'm still able to keep searching for a relationship, which is what I usually look for when I date. I know as the time gets closer I won't have any choice but to casually date. How would you go about this? Do I keep looking for a relationship and be up front about my plans right off the bat or do I forgo relationships until I'm in the place I know I'll be settling down in and just date casually? Any advice would be appreciated
Telemachus Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 Nobody has to casually date, because nobody has to date. Honestly, I don't get the idea of looking for a relationship either. It isn't as if your biological clock is ticking-down, and its now or never for having a baby. Let it happen; don't try to make it happen. If you meet someone and there's a mutual connection, you'll have to disclose at the outset that you're leaving Alberta. Take it from there. Your priority seems to be relocation, so focus on that. If your priority was establishing a new relationship, your odds are much better where you are now, because you know more people where you are now, and they all know people. In that case, you shouldn't be moving at all. Calgary has almost twice the population of Vancouver. If a relationship is what you seek, stay put. If a change of scenery is what you seek, quit over-thinking dating strategy and hypothetical relationships in your current location.
act00 Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 I think you should be upfront about your plans to relocate. I do wonder if seeking long-term is the best because if you meet "the one," it may thwart your plans and you may end up staying in Alberta for her since she won't want to leave (job, family, hates BC, etc.). Consider your priorities and what is most important to you. You don't want to get stuck in a region you detest forever, and resent her for it. On the other hand, you may be glad to stay because she is far more important to you than where you live. Anything can happen, but if you detest where you live now, I'd avoid anything serious.
PrettyEmily77 Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 Why do you have to wait a year to move, if your heart is set on going anyway? Are you contracted to your job? Unless the relocation is set in stone, I guess if you so happen to meet 'the one', you can adapt your future plans as things unfold. 1
Author KBob Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 Your priority seems to be relocation, so focus on that. If your priority was establishing a new relationship, your odds are much better where you are now, because you know more people where you are now, and they all know people. In that case, you shouldn't be moving at all. Calgary has almost twice the population of Vancouver. If a relationship is what you seek, stay put. If a change of scenery is what you seek, quit over-thinking dating strategy and hypothetical relationships in your current location. Calgary has one million, Metro Vancouver has over three million. And I won't stay in a place I'd rather not be just to find a woman, that's counter productive to self reliance on being happy. I'm moving to Nelson, a place with a regional population of 20,000. That doesn't worry me, there are women everywhere and I know I'll find one. I have to wait a year because I have some things I need to accomplish before I can leave, like finish the basement of my house so I can rent it out, and complete my college course. But it's completely set in stone that I'm leaving, and meeting a woman won't change that. I've put off life plans before for a woman that didn't work out, and I'm a big believer that if you follow your dreams everything will fall into place, so that's what I'm doing. I guess I'll have to add to my "criteria" that she gets willing to relocate if I meet a good match, and let the chips fall where they may. I'm honest and up front with women so that's what I'll continue to do.
act00 Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 KBob, I think it's a good attitude. This is set in stone, so you have to be upfront about it, and if "the one" is willing to move, you just hit the jackpot. Back to devil's advocate, you meet "the one" who is willing to move, but given the time frame, I question if it's long enough to really form a long-term relationship. She moves with you and hates it. Yeah, she was gung-ho about it before, but she hates it. She makes your life a living hell for ruining her life and dragging her to this godforsaken one-horse, crap town. Let's add an extra feature - she's pregnant, and her family are back in Alberta, and she misses them, and they're pissed at you for taking her away and sheltering her and taking her to this crap town. I really think you should avoid any major relationship choices during your transition. Again, be open about your plans, and maybe you'll get lucky, but please be careful.
mightycpa Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Calgary has one million, Metro Vancouver has over three million. And I won't stay in a place I'd rather not be just to find a woman, that's counter productive to self reliance on being happy. I'm moving to Nelson, a place with a regional population of 20,000. That doesn't worry me, there are women everywhere and I know I'll find one. Date casually and openly. Have casual sex. Don't get tied down. In one year or so, you'll be away from the local women, snowboarding and hiking to your heart's delight, chasing plenty of women who will have apparently chosen to live the same kind of small-town life that you desire. Why drag a city woman into that mess? Get a girl who already knows how to skin, season and cook a squirrel, or is at least willing to learn.. Oh, and make sure she knows how to ski or snowboard too. I think as long as you don't lie to the women here and now, you're good to go.
Author KBob Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 Thanks for all the advice, I appreciate it! I've definitely considered a relationship formed here a real risk to be taking with me, I've just met quite a few women who would like to do the same thing so I guess I'm just holding onto some hope. But you all are right, I should just be dating casually. Looks like I'll have to be signing up on Tinder again! Haha not sure about the squirrels but if she can keep up to me on a snowboard then I'm hers!
Recommended Posts