What is wrong with some ladies these days?

[Galanthus]

Hello,

 

First of all i do respect everybody don't get me wrong.

 

This is my short story, i have met this girl online which i have been talking for 10 days in a row.. sending me pics, having great conversations, phone calls.. laughing.. humor.. same opinions same conversation on the same level everything was just great... she used to call me a lot on the phone.. and vise versa.

 

So i said i that i would love to meet her, to have a great time.. she couldn't stop saying that she wants to hug me, be with me.. that she needs a real man like i am.. i have respect, i am a gentlemen, not too nice, not too hard.. something in between i am a great listener i never ever said anything rude because that is not the way to talk to a lady right?

 

I told her lets go bowling and have a drink... at a cocktailbar.. she accepted my offer everything is perfect. Last 2 days.. she totally changed on whatsapp... talking different, not showing interest.. laughing.. no more sweet words etc.. i am like W*F is wrong here i haven't done anything for real? So i have asked here.. so she was like well there is nothing i am just tired oke. THe day after we finally met..

 

AT FIRST she refused to give me a real hug.. smiling "FAKE".. keeping her distance.. so i told her are you into playing bowling right now who's gonna win? She said.. well you know i find bowling to be stupid.. to play with 2 people only lets have a drink only? I was like oke... i am clean, i shower every day, i have clean teeth, i have manners, clean clothes and especially my shoes are clean so it couldn't be the way i dress you know.

 

We went to a restaurant/bar a huge bench instead of saying sit next to me.. she decided to sit across me.. acting distant, i had the feeling like she is not having a great time i mean what have i done wrong i don't get it.. i just don't...

 

So i went home i tried to give her a real hug.. she smiled so fake.. after that she removed my facebook likes, removed me from facebook..

 

and after that being very rude on whatsapp? I don't get it lol..

 

i am really lost.. don't know what the heck is wrong with me.

 

She is like there is no connection between us? Excuse me miss, you refused the break the ice to play bowling.. where we can have fun.. refuse to sit next to me.. so i can NON-sexually touch you to show my interest.. you refuse to even TOUCH me.. on my shoulder or vice versa.. how can there be a connection if you refuse me at first?

 

Anyway i have learned from this.. don't trust anyone based on text messages and phone calls. Everything she told me.. how she is.. the way she thinks.. etc says nothing.

 

Please give me ur opinion guys.

Edited February 11, 2017 by Galanthus

[SevenCity]

Hello,

 

First of all i do respect everybody don't get me wrong.

 

This is my short story, i have met this girl online which i have been talking for 10 days in a row.. sending me pics, having great conversations, phone calls.. laughing.. humor.. same opinions same conversation on the same level everything was just great... she used to call me a lot on the phone.. and vise versa.

 

So i said i that i would love to meet her, to have a great time.. she couldn't stop saying that she wants to hug me, be with me.. that she needs a real man like i am.. i have respect, i am a gentlemen, not too nice, not too hard.. something in between i am a great listener i never ever said anything rude because that is not the way to talk to a lady right?

 

I told her lets go bowling and have a drink... at a cocktailbar.. she accepted my offer everything is perfect. Last 2 days.. she totally changed on whatsapp... talking different, not showing interest.. laughing.. no more sweet words etc.. i am like W*F is wrong here i haven't done anything for real? So i have asked here.. so she was like well there is nothing i am just tired oke. THe day after we finally met..

 

AT FIRST she refused to give me a real hug.. smiling "FAKE".. keeping her distance.. so i told her are you into playing bowling right now who's gonna win? She said.. well you know i find bowling to be stupid.. to play with 2 people only lets have a drink only? I was like oke... i am clean, i shower every day, i have clean teeth, i have manners, clean clothes and especially my shoes are clean so it couldn't be the way i dress you know.

 

We went to a restaurant/bar a huge bench instead of saying sit next to me.. she decided to sit across me.. acting distant, i had the feeling like she is not having a great time i mean what have i done wrong i don't get it.. i just don't...

 

So i went home i tried to give her a real hug.. she smiled so fake.. after that she removed my facebook likes, removed me from facebook..

 

and after that being very rude on whatsapp? I don't get it lol..

 

i am really lost.. don't know what the heck is wrong with me.

 

She is like there is no connection between us? Excuse me miss, you refused the break the ice to play bowling.. where we can have fun.. refuse to sit next to me.. so i can NON-sexually touch you to show my interest.. you refuse to even TOUCH me.. on my shoulder or vice versa.. how can there be a connection if you refuse me at first?

 

Anyway i have learned from this.. don't trust anyone based on text messages and phone calls. Everything she told me.. how she is.. the way she thinks.. etc says nothing.

 

Please give me ur opinion guys.

 

Not atypical for a woman's behavior. She liked the attention but didn't have interest in you personally.

 

That's why I keep communication to a minimum until we meet. You don't know if you click until you meet in person.

[elaine567]

She was not sexually attracted to you when she saw you in the flesh.

Sorry!

[dumbass2]

Yep, like others have said, she met you in person and decided there was no chemistry. She was not attracted to you. In person can change everything. Nothing you did wrong, just not the girl for you.

[Galanthus]

Yep, like others have said, she met you in person and decided there was no chemistry. She was not attracted to you. In person can change everything. Nothing you did wrong, just not the girl for you.

 

How can there be a chemistry if you don't give it a chance i mean.. you have seen me on pics.. the way i dress.. so you don't want to try to break the ice? Pretty shallow IMO.

 

But i don't care.. but why tell story A, think B but do C?

 

weird.. but no problem.. i am the winner here anyway

[Ieris]

People can be fickle like that, she probably loved all the attention you was giving her but when you wanted to meet up to develop things further she started to pull back. I guess some people just like the chase and once they get it they lose interest.

[grays]

She was not sexually attracted to you when she saw you in the flesh.

Sorry!

 

But she started acting distant before they met, right?

[Galanthus]

But she started acting distant before they met, right?

 

Hi Grays,

 

Yes, that is totally correct. And very weird IMO. I mean i don't care i am not a little kid i am 29 years old be honest you don't like me fine, tell me why? But no.. at first sight she refused me. I don't get it, everything was oke 3 days earlier.. from 100% interest on the phone messenger to 50% 2 days later.

 

Refusing to play bowling with me.. because of a weird reason which is stupid in her eyes playing with 2 people only.. refusing to give a real hug.

 

There is more here.. she have seen me on pictures the way how i look.. dress. everything she liked.

 

There is something more here going on.

 

But no big deal.. chin up and move forward.

[elaine567]

So if she went distant before you met then why did you go ahead and meet her?

 

Distant usually means little or no interest.

[Galanthus]

So if she went distant before you met then why did you go ahead and meet her?

 

Distant usually means little or no interest.

 

 

I never ever judge before seeing something with my own eyes or hearing with my own ears.

 

No big deal Elaine

[elaine567]

She kind of laid it on a bit too thick, almost love-bombed you, all too soon and too much and then she apparently lost interest.

I think you are better off without her, too much drama there.

Hugs.

[Sweetfish]

I would most bet there were many guys in the grand scheme and one bumped you off within the time frame...

 

good riddance:D

[Galanthus]

She kind of laid it on a bit too thick, almost love-bombed you, all too soon and too much and then she apparently lost interest.

I think you are better off without her, too much drama there.

Hugs.

 

Very sweet from you Elaine, honestly i don't mind i am the real man here staying respectful and nice.. and yes i am better without here i am actually very happy that she have showed me her real face here. Yes, i agree love-bombed me.. but took her distance once she met me.

 

No big deal for me.. i will find a real lady who will respect me for the way i am. Btw, maybe this helps.. 3 days ago she confessed she kinda like the "douche-bag" type looking guys from Jersey Shore.. but she dress like a real lady.

 

One thing i have learned from this.. yes, they say people make the man/lady.. but clothes say nothing about the inner personality.

 

Chin up move on

[angel.eyes]

She had lost interest. I suspect it was something you said in the lead-up to the date. Sorry, but groping someone who isn't attracted to you won't make you irresistible. It would just make you seem more repulsive.

 

I told her lets go bowling and have a drink... at a cocktailbar.. she accepted my offer everything is perfect. Last 2 days.. she totally changed on whatsapp... talking different, not showing interest.. laughing.. no more sweet words etc.. i am like W*F is wrong here i haven't done anything for real? So i have asked here.. so she was like well there is nothing i am just tired oke. THe day after we finally met..

You probably said something deeply offensive that prompted the sudden change.

 

I was like oke... i am clean, i shower every day, i have clean teeth, i have manners, clean clothes and especially my shoes are clean so it couldn't be the way i dress you know.

This describes just about everyone!!! If this is all you think you need to be attractive in the dating world, think again! Would you go on a job interview and say hire me because I shower every day, have clean teeth, and wear clean clothes and shoes? Why would dating be any different?

 

We went to a restaurant/bar a huge bench instead of saying sit next to me.. she decided to sit across me.. acting distant, i had the feeling like she is not having a great time i mean what have i done wrong i don't get it.. i just don't...

I suspect she sat across from you because she got the impression she would have to fight off your hands if she sat anywhere near you. Why put yourself through that with someone you don't find attractive?

 

She is like there is no connection between us? Excuse me miss, you refused the break the ice to play bowling.. where we can have fun.. refuse to sit next to me.. so i can NON-sexually touch you to show my interest.. you refuse to even TOUCH me.. on my shoulder or vice versa.. how can there be a connection if you refuse me at first?

Yup! She guessed correctly. It seems pawing at someone is the only way you have to create attraction or connect with women.

 

Based on your post, you come across as someone who is a quite oblivious to the impact that you have on others. Whatever you said in that exchange two days before was a total turnoff, and your behavior on the date just reinforced that and sealed the deal.

 

Just accept that you weren't her cup of tea. Others may like you just fine as is. So, on to the next.

[Galanthus]

She had lost interest. I suspect it was something you said in the lead-up to the date. Sorry, but groping someone who isn't attracted to you won't make you irresistible. It would just make you seem more repulsive.

 

 

You probably said something deeply offensive that prompted the sudden change.

 

 

This describes just about everyone!!! If this is all you think you need to be attractive in the dating world, think again! Would you go on a job interview and say hire me because I shower every day, have clean teeth, and wear clean clothes and shoes? Why would dating be any different?

 

 

I suspect she sat across from you because she got the impression she would have to fight off your hands if she sat anywhere near you. Why put yourself through that with someone you don't find attractive?

 

 

Yup! She guessed correctly. It seems pawing at someone is the only way you have to create attraction or connect with women.

 

Based on your post, you come across as someone who is a quite oblivious to the impact that you have on others. Whatever you said in that exchange two days before was a total turnoff, and your behavior on the date just reinforced that and sealed the deal.

 

Just accept that you weren't her cup of tea. Others may like you just fine as is. So, on to the next.

 

Enough good real lady's and not the look a like once.. will appreciate the way i am. I don't say anything rude, disrespectful or not even a word about about something sexual.

 

But.. she likes Jersey Shore guys.. that's what she told me 2 days ago.. that must be it.

 

Clothes say nothing that's what i have learned from it.. no big deal i will find someone who fits me just perfectly.

[CaliforniaGirl]

I think in the beginning she was rushing things, trying to "feel it" - maybe she's been alone for a really long time and is tired of all her prospects not working out. Beware of someone coming on really, really strong from the beginning. It's more likely than not that the person is rushing it for whatever reason(s). But over time...that sort of thing will just fizzle.

 

For her it fizzled before you met. She could have met someone else, or she may have simply realized it wasn't working.

 

As for her being "shallow" if it may have been that in person she wasn't attracted to you, all I ever hear from guys is that "oh, I want a quality woman, sure, but I HAVE to be physically attracted, of course." Do you feel this way? If not, you're a saint. If so, then she is no more shallow than anyone else, including you. Just let this one go. Don't let it bother you. You will meet someone else.

[TheTraveler]

 

But.. she likes Jersey Shore guys.. that's what she told me 2 days ago.. that must be it.

 

she likes buff/muscular, fake tan, brash guys. Sounds like you're not that and there's nothing more to say

[GemmaUK]

You sound quite angry in your posts. I'm guessing she picked up on that which Is why she dropped off with the contact.

She then decided to give the benefit of the doubt, met you but realised she wasn't attracted.

 

It's really best not to have too many expectations prior to meeting someone OP but it sounds in this case as if you already had plans for touching, hugging etc before even meeting her. Putting the cart before the horse so to speak.

[TheTraveler]

AT FIRST she refused to give me a real hug.. smiling "FAKE".. keeping her distance.. so i told her are you into playing bowling right now who's gonna win? She said.. well you know i find bowling to be stupid.. to play with 2 people only lets have a drink only? I was like oke... i am clean, i shower every day, i have clean teeth, i have manners, clean clothes and especially my shoes are clean so it couldn't be the way i dress you know.

 

 

Please give me ur opinion guys.

 

I've always given a hug on the first meet via online dating. It's nice to finally meet them in person! Never had an awkward moment right off the bat.

 

In your situation you should of recognized the tell tale signs along the date and ended the night

[GoldSparkz]

Her behaviour reeks of insecurity. She was most likely bullied at school and has not yet dealt with her insecurities as a result. Therefore, she is seeking out men online who can give her the attention and fulfilment she is unable to give herself.

 

It's irrational of you to assume that all women are like this, so learn from the experience and move on. Don't let this experience change your impression of women otherwise you become bitter and miss your chance of finding true love.

[salparadise]

Yup, she pulled back as soon as you confirmed the plan to meet in person. Insecurities, defense mechanisms, feelings of unworthiness, fear of being rejected so she prevents that possibility by rejecting first and holding up the defensive shield. It's some combination of these most likely. If she had continued to be warm until you actually met I'd call it lack of attraction and chemistry... but she went defensive prior to meeting.

 

These are her issues, not yours. Don't give it a second thought. A lot of people on dating site are emotionally unavailable. You had no investment here, other than the 10 days you wasted messaging someone whose payoff was getting attention online but is unable to carry through in real life. Next!

[Erik30]

My guess is that she met someone else (who she liked more) right before your first date.

She probably still wanted to give it a shot, because you never know... even though she already lost some interest which you noticed, then when she saw you she knew it wouldn't work out so she cut the date short and deleted you

[Galanthus]

Her behaviour reeks of insecurity. She was most likely bullied at school and has not yet dealt with her insecurities as a result. Therefore, she is seeking out men online who can give her the attention and fulfilment she is unable to give herself.

 

It's irrational of you to assume that all women are like this, so learn from the experience and move on. Don't let this experience change your impression of women otherwise you become bitter and miss your chance of finding true love.

 

Totally agree here.. nothing wrong with me because i always behave like a real gentleman.

[Galanthus]

My guess is that she met someone else (who she liked more) right before your first date.

She probably still wanted to give it a shot, because you never know... even though she already lost some interest which you noticed, then when she saw you she knew it wouldn't work out so she cut the date short and deleted you

 

You are right Erik, now my bells are ringing.. she was on the phone two days talking to her "mom" and "grandmother" but i have the strong feeling she was talking with some other guy.

 

No big deal.. but isn't it very childish deleting me? acting like you didn't that someone else did it, sending me a family request... rejecting that she have sent it... being rude and disrespectful?

 

You know.. i wish i acted like a total douchebag slap her on the butt, say sexual things.. sometimes i have the feeling like THAT kind of girls would like it more.. instead of the normal guy.

 

The most funny part is she was looking for a normal guy, a gentleman, who has respect for a lady, who is funny, likes jokes, is looking forward to build a strong relationship etc etc.. and afterwards telling me that she likes Jersey shore type of guys.

 

Nevermind up to the next

[preraph]

You know what, she just wasn't a match. She was silly for coming on so strong before you met. No one is the same in person. Chemistry has to be there, and chemisty isn't all about looks. She came on strong, so you wanted to come on strong, but then she shut it down.

 

I mean, I see some issues with you, mainly that everything you described seemed just calculated to get sex, which that was too soon and too blatant. But I see that she came on strong and gave you the green light -- and then when you met, she changed her mind and we don't know if it's because of your looks or how you acted or if it's because she's one of those idiots who acts like someone they're not online to get a bunch of attention! So don't let this keep you up nights. Blow her off and try again.