mandyy4 Posted February 11, 2017 Posted February 11, 2017 Okay, so I am really conflicted. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years now and he turns 21 this month. I am 19 about to be 20. He keeps talking about how he and some girls that he works with are going to start going out drinking and dancing after his birthday. Now, I have never been the jealous type at all, and I wouldn't even say it's really jealousy. I trust him completely and I don't think he would have any problem with me tagging along. He has even said that I could go, but he knows I don't enjoy things like that because I have really bad social anxiety. However, I don't like the idea of him going out with a bunch of girls (he has never mentioned any guys would be going). While I know I cannot ask him to not go out just because those situations personally make me uncomfortable, I find it hard to justify him going out with just girls. I am not in any way trying to control him, which is why I wanted to post this here to get feedback. I would like to talk to him about this, but not if I am just being crazy. How would you guys feel if you were in this situation?
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2017 Posted February 11, 2017 When one person becomes of legal drinking age more than a year before the other problems can ensue. He will have this whole other outlet which you can't participate & it will be hard for you to be left behind. Just straight up tell him you feel left out but that you don't want to do these things because of your social anxiety. Odds are he'll go anyway but at least you will know where you stand. 1
smackie9 Posted February 11, 2017 Posted February 11, 2017 Nothing wrong with having a discussion about it. IMO it not really appropriate for him to go out dancing and drinking with a bunch of ladies even if they are just co-workers. If he insists on this and wants it to be a regular activity, then the dynamic of your relationship is changing. He wants to go out and have fun, and you can handle those situations....it's now turning into a compatibility issue. Talk it out and see if you can come to some compromise.
dispatch3d Posted February 11, 2017 Posted February 11, 2017 Step one, find out if any guys are going? That's what I'd do.
GoldSparkz Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 I would either let him go and enjoy himself, if you trust him then that speaks for itself. Otherwise, I would try to overcome my social anxiety and go with him. It's his birthday and I'm pretty sure he would love to have you by his side. Put on a united front so the other girls can see that he is in a commuted relationship.
Gaeta Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 I guess he works in a place hiring mostly women so he's one of the few guys in the place? I don't think it's fair he can't go out with his 'colleagues' just because they are females. My daughter works for an industry of 400 male employees and 2 females. She is one of the 'guys'. She should not have a drink with them after work because they are males? As long as they are all going out in groups you should trust your boyfriend.
coolheadal Posted February 12, 2017 Posted February 12, 2017 Yes you have reason to concern about what he's going to do. You don't know how any of these girls feel about him. Just takes one to change your relationship into a living hell. I would tell him no don't go, even if you go you would be bored to death. Tell him you have some guys from work who want to take you out and your going to go with them. Tell him that and see if that doesn't keep rabbit start his brain. What happens if you go out with guy friend out and you know your not going but you want him to think that way. This is option you can deal on his fun girl party. No need for him to continue like that when he has you. I guess he thinks it's okay to do so. You tell him if he goes your not going to see him ever again.
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