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Asked a girl out [UPDATE: She rejected me. I'm visiting a brothel this weekend.]

Short-Guy

By Short-Guy
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angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

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In front of all her buddies?

 

If you were too afraid to ask her out on a date when you suggested hiking, color me doubtful that you'll have enough nerve to ask her on a date in front of an invited audience.

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Short-Guy Member

Short-Guy

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Being afraid had nothing to do with it. I've been told by friends to never say "date" when asking out a girl the first time. I'll ask her out even if I have to get her to talk with me one on one.

thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

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See if she mentions a place she'd like to check out or an activity to try in conversation. That'd be a good way to introduce a date. Hope it works out well for you.

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Short-Guy Member

Short-Guy

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So when I do go out on the hike, how should I stand out from the other guys?

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Being afraid had nothing to do with it. I've been told by friends to never say "date" when asking out a girl the first time. I'll ask her out even if I have to get her to talk with me one on one.

 

Well, you were seriously told wrong and misguided by whatever morons told you that. That's only for guys who can't get a woman to go out with them unless they pretend to only be friends. Which is cowardly and deceptive. If you're not afraid to ask her out and get rejected, then you have no reason to follow their advice. I mean, pretending to be just friends gets you NOWHERE. So stop listening to your friends about that. Good luck.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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So when I do go out on the hike, how should I stand out from the other guys?

 

Just be yourself. Don't be clingy with her. Be natural and be yourself. Because you want to see if she likes the real you, not some patched together version of you that you learned from unsuccessful friends or some PUA site. If she's not interested in the real you, find someone who is, because you can't change that. Women do know what they like and what they don't and what they're attracted to and what they're not, usually within 5 minutes of talking to you.

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angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

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Being afraid had nothing to do with it. I've been told by friends to never say "date" when asking out a girl the first time. I'll ask her out even if I have to get her to talk with me one on one.

 

Look at what listening to these inexperienced friends of yours got you--a group hike with all her buddies, not a date!:rolleyes:

 

If you want a date and/or eventually a girlfriend, learn to be clear about your intentions. Choose the "let's hang out as friends" approach, and you'll end up spinning your wheels, all the while quite frustrated and confused...but with a sizeable collection of new friends, none of whom are interested in you romantically.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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Being afraid had nothing to do with it. I've been told by friends to never say "date" when asking out a girl the first time. I'll ask her out even if I have to get her to talk with me one on one.

 

whomever gave you that advice has it wrong....do define a date from a hang out....do be upfront and honest..show your maturity.....its gutsy and admirable for a man to be a man...and say what he wants and to mean what he says......deb

normal person Established Member

normal person

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Look at what listening to these inexperienced friends of yours got you--a group hike with all her buddies, not a date!:rolleyes:

 

If you want a date and/or eventually a girlfriend, learn to be clear about your intentions. Choose the "let's hang out as friends" approach, and you'll end up spinning your wheels, all the while quite frustrated and confused...but with a sizeable collection of new friends, none of whom are interested in you romantically.

 

Absolutely.

 

Another thing to consider is that being direct, decisive and confident is actually attractive. That itself might be what makes her want to go out with you -- the fact that you took direct action and were so confident about it. Conversely, if she senses the opposite, like you trying to be friendly with her as a deliberate way to crawl your way into a romantic relationship with her because you're too shy/indirect to do it the other way, she's going to think less of you.

 

Best of luck.

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Short-Guy Member

Short-Guy

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Looks like I lucked out. Our professor gave us a large amount of work to do, so our schedule will be busy for the next couple of weeks. The hiking trip has been cancelled. Next time I ask her out, Ill be blunt and tell her it is a date.

  • 2 weeks later...
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Short-Guy Member

Short-Guy

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To those who don't know, there is a girl in my class who I like. We both share similar interests and hobbies. I asked her out a couple of weeks ago and she said yes, but it was to a group event. Midterms caused our schedules to be busy, but now that they are over, I plan on asking her out again. Should I be blunt this time? Any ways to ask out a girl without being in the friend zone?

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Whether you're in the friendzone depends solely on how she views you. I remember your story. Hiking, wasn't it? So how did the hike go? Did she hike beside you and talk any or pretty much stay away?

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Fortune favors the bold.

 

 

If she doesn't feel chemistry for you, nothing you do will keep you out of the friend zone. Sorry.

 

 

Be bold. Have the courage of your convictions. Ask her on the date. We'll keep our fingers crossed for you.

 

 

Hope you both did well on your midterms.

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angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

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This was the girl who you invited on a hike, and she then invited her buddies to join you? You'll have to be way more direct about your intentions.

 

Example:

I would like to take you out on a date. I was thinking XYZ activity would be fun.

 

Sure, you'll get rejected if she doesn't see you as a romantic prospect. But at least you won't be wasting your time spinning your wheels and entertaining her friends at group activities...like that hike...while you wonder if she is interested that way or just sees you as a friend.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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How often has she initiated texting you since you invited her to the hike? If the answer is zero, I don't think she is interested.

angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

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The fact that she invited her whole posse to join them would suggest she sees him as a friend. But he won't know for certain until he actually asks her out...on a date.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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IMO what has the communication been like after the hike? Is there any flirting, or any sign of eagerness from her when you interact or contact her? If not, you are not going to get anywhere with her.

 

I don't buy the exams excuse ever. When a girl is interested she doesn't let anything get in the way of her desire.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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be really specific about the date you want to take her on....say there's this little restaurant i have been really keen to go to ...the food i am told is to die for.....can i take you to dinner saturday night..we could see a movie after if you like(gives options).....i have heard such and such is worth seeing and it has some top reviews.....one thing i have found as a woman is that if you eat dinner befpore goign to a movie you dotn have the desire to spend twenty bucks on treats that are over priced and laden with calories.....money/waist saver...lol..ahem...

 

 

above is only a suggestion anyway..but it flows.would be easy to say..........but what is more important i feel about my suggestion is the travel between two places on a date.....gives you a chance to talk and to talk about dinner what you liked or something you see as you are travelling along.....to the next spot.....its also a twosome thing.....who wants to go like a line of ducks from one place to the next......

 

if she does suggest oh lets invite so and so or the group say......... yeah maybe next time we do something but this time lets just do this one together...we can let the group know about the food....and or the movie whatever.....

 

as donnivain said fortune favors the bold...you dont have to agressively seek a date but you can make what you really want known firmly......and be respected for those guts you have.....no guts....no glory...even if you are nervous...means those guts you have are being used more.....a good woman would know this.....and respect your gumption....courage in men is refreshing and exciting....

 

.........up front...is best......always.....best of luck...let us know how it turns out for you.....i am interested to know......deb

Edited by todreaminblue
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Short-Guy Member

Short-Guy

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The hiking trip was cancelled because of midterms and that we both did not do well on the practice exam earlier. The past couple of weeks have been busy for both of us, but we still occasionally talk and text each other. Tomorrow, Ill see her in class and I will ask her out again, but this time, Ill be blunt and tell her it is a date. Hopefully she does not reject me. I never had a girlfriend despite being 27 years old.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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I never had a girlfriend despite being 27 years old.

Please don't tell her that.............

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Short-Guy Member

Short-Guy

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Obviously, I wont tell her that

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Confidence usually wins the girl...

coolheadal Established Member

coolheadal

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To those who don't know, there is a girl in my class who I like. We both share similar interests and hobbies. I asked her out a couple of weeks ago and she said yes, but it was to a group event. Midterms caused our schedules to be busy, but now that they are over, I plan on asking her out again. Should I be blunt this time? Any ways to ask out a girl without being in the friend zone?

 

Listen be yourself don't say anything men shouldn't say like when you was out last with a girl anything that makes or sounds like your weird or not normal. This is where we all screw-up. Just be cool about it. Just make sure she's single and not seeing anyone prior to you asking her out. Do it this way "hey girls name is your boyfriend and you going to (whatever event you want to take her too) this weekend. Something like that. This way you know if you have a chance or not. Don't say anything silly either. You have to be confident when you say anything to her. Never ask her how she feels about you and her and never let her pick a place. Your the man your the leader. Okay? Just remember that in your head. Buy her one flower with a red ribbon tied to it. No card just the flower of your choice. Best it not blossom yet. Since this would be your first date. Blossomed on second date. After 6 dates 6 stem roses after 12 dates 1 dozen roses.

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Short-Guy Member

Short-Guy

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She rejected me, just like the others. Looks like I'm visiting a brothel this weekend

angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

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I had a feeling. Women don't usually bring a bevy of their friends (mostly male IIRC) on a one-on-one outing if they like the guy.

 

How is going to a hooker helpful? You still won't have a girlfriend when you leave, and you'll have less money to spend on a date.

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