Asked a girl out [UPDATE: She rejected me. I'm visiting a brothel this weekend.]

[Short-Guy]

There is a girl in my engineering class that I want to ask out. We have talked a few times and she seems to enjoy my company. She even implied that he is single. I pan on asking her out but I don't want to start a group event (she has a lot of friends). I plan on being blunt, telling her that I want to take her out on a date. I already have a few ideas in mind. Is this a good idea? Are there better ways of asking girls out?

[coolheadal]

Just ask her out as you know she's already single as she told you that hint! If you didn't know if she was single and seeing someone else there is a way to find out without embarrassment to you or her. That goes something like this;

 

"So tell me (her name goes here) so you and your boyfriend have some cool plans this weekend"

 

This is how you find out if she's seeing someone or not. Simple test.

 

But in your case you already told you she was single. You can ask her out with or without flowers in hand. Although flowers can make a girl smile/be happy when you pop the question for going out on your very first date together.

[smackie9]

Keep it simple and casual with a 45 min coffee date or grab a slice of pizza. Like Tom Leykis said, keep the money spent to a minimum, say like 20 bucks for a first date.

[Short-Guy]

She is an outdoor person, so I am planning on taking her out on a hike

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

Good luck OP, you already have rapport with her it sounds like, so an activity first date is not a bad idea at all!

 

Go ask her out.

[Short-Guy]

I asked out the girl in class to go out hiking with me and she said yes. This sounds like a good situation, except that she wants to go out as a group. She is in the same club as i am, so she has a a lot of friends. Does this mean I am in the friend zone? If so, how do I get out of it?

[GoldSparkz]

Putting myself in her shoes, she probably feels as though going out in a group helps to build her confidence. Is she normally shy? If so, going out in groups makes you feel a lot more secure so I wouldn't worry about being friend zoned just yet.

My advice is to go along, and maybe take some guy friends. Then when you get some time, take her to the side and get to know her. The best way to escape the threat of being friend zoned is to be flirtatious and let her know that you're into her. Then if she likes you in a romantic way, she will let you know. Good luck!

[Short-Guy]

She does not seem to be shy. She is in my engineering club so she is surrounded by a lot of guys. Some of those guys already have girlfriends, so I am not worried about them. How would I be flirtatious while out on a hiking trip?

[ChatroomHero]

You should have clarified you were asking her and you were not interested in a group thing. If you want an awkward time where she hangs out with her friends and not you, non-date "date", by all means go.

 

Personally I would have responded to her that you are not into group sex and declined.

[mikeylo]

She isn't interested and is telling you that indirectly.

[BaileyB]

It's possible that she misunderstood your invitation and thus, decided to ask the rest of the group. If you typically do things together as a group, perhaps she just made an assumption...

 

It's possible that she sees you as a friend, and this she has invited others to make it more comfortable.

 

You will only know by clarifying the situation... Can you say, "Actually, I was hoping that we could go together, just the two of us." Either that, or you go as a group and see what she does, and ask her out... again.

 

Good luck!

[GoldSparkz]

She does not seem to be shy. She is in my engineering club so she is surrounded by a lot of guys. Some of those guys already have girlfriends, so I am not worried about them. How would I be flirtatious while out on a hiking trip?

 

Its gonna be hard if you're surrounded by her guy friends, but try not to let that put you off. Be chivalrous, take her hand and help her over the rocks, offer to hold her bag, gently touch her back as you guide her in the right direction, offer her your water. Be supportive, but don't come on too strong. Let her see that your are caring but manly. If you come across too caring and feminine, she will put you straight into the friend zone like all her other guy friends. Try and stand out from the others.

[KBob]

It's also possible she doesn't want to go out into the woods with you alone on a first date. It's a very risky situation for a woman if she doesn't know you well. What about trying to see if she wants to do something else one on one before that, like go out for dinner?

[normal person]

The problem is that you didn't really ask her "out," not in the traditional romantic sense anyways.

 

You've got some good advice from other people in this thread, when you're on this hike with all your friends, try and get her to warm up to you specifically. If she's giving you a good vibe, build on that following the hike and if it continues, ask her to do something uncomplicated, like drinks. Or anything, y'know, not alone in the woods.

[smackie9]

Ya hiking isn't really a first date thing....it's just hanging out. And I agree from a female perspective, alone in the woods with some guy you just take a class with is not a very safe thing to do. Women always have to think about their safety on a daily basis. I know guys don't think about it because they don't have to worry about such things.

 

Like I mentioned before having a quick coffee, or grab a slice of pizza it a good starter date.

[jiffysound]

Yeah, the idea with a guy alone in the woods, sooo many horror movies start out just like that. And I am sure she has seen her share For all she knows, you may be a cannibal setting a trap But in all seriousness, some of the ideas mentioned above me are quite splendid. Help her out if there is some sort of obstacle, keep the other orbiters in check and try and see if you can form a bond with her in an auspicious manner.

[angel.eyes]

How did you go about asking her out? Were you clear this was a date?

[normal person]

How did you go about asking her out? Were you clear this was a date?

 

I'm guessing he didn't because she wanted to bring a bunch of other people. Hiking doesn't really have much of a romantic connotation to it.

 

One thing I've noticed with threads from younger guys recently is they'll ask a girl they like to do something (go hiking, go the museum) with them and are really ambiguous about their romantic intent. Then they're sort of trying to read the girl to see if she's giving off any signals, as if they want to make her decide if it's a "date" or not.

 

Here's the thing OP (and other guys reading in similar situations), if you like a girl and want to take her out, you have to own it and be upfront about your intentions. If you want her time and attention, you have to accept the vulnerability of the situation and not pass it off onto her so you can save face if she doesn't end up liking you -- that's really rude. Be direct about what you want and accept whatever response you get like a grown adult.

[angel.eyes]

Well then he shouldn't be surprised when she brings her friends. School-aged women travel in a pack when going out with friends. If he invites her to be friends, she'll be happy to welcome him to her buddy-land.

[preraph]

I'm guessing he didn't because she wanted to bring a bunch of other people. Hiking doesn't really have much of a romantic connotation to it.

 

One thing I've noticed with threads from younger guys recently is they'll ask a girl they like to do something (go hiking, go the museum) with them and are really ambiguous about their romantic intent. Then they're sort of trying to read the girl to see if she's giving off any signals, as if they want to make her decide if it's a "date" or not.

 

Here's the thing OP (and other guys reading in similar situations), if you like a girl and want to take her out, you have to own it and be upfront about your intentions. If you want her time and attention, you have to accept the vulnerability of the situation and not pass it off onto her so you can save face if she doesn't end up liking you -- that's really rude. Be direct about what you want and accept whatever response you get like a grown adult.

 

Amen and hallelujah

[Short-Guy]

So what should I do? Is cancelling the event a bad idea? I was planing on going to the group event, then be blunt and ask her out on a date. This would be after flirting with her a little bit.

[angel.eyes]

So you hadn't asked her on a date? Not much you can do now without looking flakey or weird. Enjoy your hike with your new-found buddies.

 

Lesson learned for next time. If you want a date, ask for a date.

[dispatch3d]

I wouldn't make a move on the hike, it'll look contrived. Making one earlier may have worked but you kinda botched it.

 

Also asking her on something or than coffee or drinks is not a good idea. Just do coffee or drinks, they'll say yes if interested.

 

Its not rude to ask a girl out to a group event, just as an fyi. Not a good way to start a relationship, but its def not rude.

[preraph]

If you don't want to go, then tell her, "I can't go with the group after all." I doubt she'll say a word about it, but if she does say "Well, you're who asked me," perfect time to say, "I asked you. I didn't ask the whole group."

[Short-Guy]

I guess I will ask her out on a date at the end of the hiking trip.