Sendmewings Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 He is an awesome guy. He is respectful very nice we have fun together but he is not very passionate. He only wants to hang out once a week. The times we hang out more than that is because I have to ask. In the beginning he talked about his ex a lot which sort of killed my excitement. Although he stopped talking about her he says he is very jaded and mentions comments to me that are rude. For example he said he wants me to meet his friends so I can pass the friend test and see if they approve. He spent the time talking about all these romantic things he did for his exes and now it's going to be valentines and he has nothing planned and doesn't even want to meet on Valentine's Day. Other than that he treats me very good and like I said we have an awesome time. I just don't want to be disappointed and I'm tired of asking for time with my boyfriend. I want a guy who wants to spend time with me without me asking. Am I wrong?
Zahara Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 Maybe he's still hung up on his ex. and that is why he can't fully commit to you. Sounds like he isn't that invested. He enjoys the time he spends with you but it could be only because it fills a need. If he's still jaded and talks about his ex, chances are he could be rebounding. How long have you both been dating?
Author Sendmewings Posted February 10, 2017 Author Posted February 10, 2017 Over three months fairly new relationship but we've only been official for two months. He got a new job as a manager which has him under stress but something doesn't feel right to me. Shouldn't a man want to spend time with his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
Redhead14 Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 Is this the guy you wrote about back in October? By now, if he were invested in you enough, he'd be seeing you more often than once a week. I think you're stringing yourself along. He's recently out of a relationship and is likely enjoying spending time with you, but can't/won't become more fully involved. I'd say, you should move on. In your other thread, "What Does No Expectations Mean", we all told you that the guy didn't want anything serious and that's what you've got. This is a casual relationship, regardless of the fact that you are "official". All you have is an "officially" casual relationship. No expectations means - don't expect anything for Valentine's Day either . . .
Zahara Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 Over three months fairly new relationship but we've only been official for two months. He got a new job as a manager which has him under stress but something doesn't feel right to me. Shouldn't a man want to spend time with his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? Valentine's day is not a big deal for me. It's just another day. And maybe it isn't a big deal for him. But personally, there should be a compromise and if I knew my partner found excitement in the day, I'd put some effort into recognizing it with him. I think you should focus on how he makes you feel in general. He spends one day a week with you. Does that work for you? Hung up on his ex. He's jaded and has been rude to you. Why would you tolerate this? Gloats about how he has treated his other ex-girlfriends. Again, why would you tolerate this? The beginnings of a relationship should be exciting and fun. You've known him for three months and your gut is already telling you something. Listen to it and observe. And if this isn't fulfilling for you, then you should move on. I've learned to listen to those instincts. It has always stirred me in the right direction. 1
Author Sendmewings Posted February 10, 2017 Author Posted February 10, 2017 Hey and no that guy is long long gone. This is a new guy. He's great but ever since he started his new job he's been very distant.
Redhead14 Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 Hey and no that guy is long long gone. This is a new guy. He's great but ever since he started his new job he's been very distant. Well, a new job is very demanding of a person's attention and energy. However, this guy has been seeing you only once a week for three months. That doesn't say much for his level of investment. I think you are still stringing yourself along. What has this guy said about what he wants out of his dating journey? You can do one of two things: Talk to him. Let him know that you are feeling left out and would like to spend more time with him or simply move on. Tell him you need a more involved/proactive partner and wish him well.
Zahara Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 Hey and no that guy is long long gone. This is a new guy. He's great but ever since he started his new job he's been very distant. He started a new job but you have been dating for 3 months and only seeing you once a month. If you are tired of asking him to spend more time with you and getting zero results, you have your answer.
Gaeta Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 He is an awesome guy. He is respectful very nice we have fun together but he is not very passionate. He only wants to hang out once a week. The times we hang out more than that is because I have to ask. In the beginning he talked about his ex a lot which sort of killed my excitement. Although he stopped talking about her he says he is very jaded and mentions comments to me that are rude. For example he said he wants me to meet his friends so I can pass the friend test and see if they approve. He spent the time talking about all these romantic things he did for his exes and now it's going to be valentines and he has nothing planned and doesn't even want to meet on Valentine's Day. Other than that he treats me very good and like I said we have an awesome time. I just don't want to be disappointed and I'm tired of asking for time with my boyfriend. I want a guy who wants to spend time with me without me asking. Am I wrong? No, he is not awesome. You can call a man awesome when he treats you very special and you feel unique and important. The rest doesn't count. He does not treat you anymore special than any other friends. 2
kendahke Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 (edited) He is an awesome guy. He is respectful very nice we have fun together but he is not very passionate. He only wants to hang out once a week. The times we hang out more than that is because I have to ask. In the beginning he talked about his ex a lot which sort of killed my excitement. Although he stopped talking about her he says he is very jaded and mentions comments to me that are rude. For example he said he wants me to meet his friends so I can pass the friend test and see if they approve. He spent the time talking about all these romantic things he did for his exes and now it's going to be valentines and he has nothing planned and doesn't even want to meet on Valentine's Day. Other than that he treats me very good and like I said we have an awesome time. I just don't want to be disappointed and I'm tired of asking for time with my boyfriend. I want a guy who wants to spend time with me without me asking. Am I wrong? This isn't the guy then. He's still in the middle of the mess of his last break up and he's punishing her by taking it out on you. Take yourself to the spa on Valentines day. Hoping for this guy to treat you the way you want to be treated is a colossal waste of your time and youth. Pro tip: No, he's not treating you well if he's not in a place where he's not still gnawing on the bones of the carcass of his last relationship. Don't twist it around to make it palatable because you dont' want to have to begin your search for a new guy. You deserve a guy who wants to be present with you, not his ex. Edited February 10, 2017 by kendahke
preraph Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 He doesn't care enough to spend Valentine's with you and my guess he's going to take a shot at spending it with her or someone else. So I would just block him on social media and stop answering the phone.
Jj66 Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 If he says no to hangimg out with you on new years eve, valentine's day, or his own birthday without a valid reason he's probably seeing someone else as a main squeeze and you are being seen on the side.
lurker74 Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 I've been dating someone for almost a month now. Our schedules are very hectic. On Monday, I went to her place of work (she works in a pharmacy) to bring her a lunch as a surprise. I got to see her for about 30 seconds and it was awesome. Today, she came over to my place for an hour during my lunch (I work in an office and met her at my place). It was incredibly passionate and awesome. Now, maybe at month three we won't be that way but now we are moving heaven and earth to be together, even if only for a minute (or less!). If you are not getting that and want it, then yes, you should break up and find the guy that can't stand being away from you. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11, 2017 Posted February 11, 2017 It's pretty clear that he's just not that into you, OP. I would next him. It's kind of pointless to hang on to this one.
fromheart Posted February 11, 2017 Posted February 11, 2017 End it straight away, you are not getting the respect you deserve. You know this.
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