History with FWB

[cakeman]

Hello! Nice to meet you, I'm cakeman and I want to share my experience and ask you for some advise in this particular case, I hope you can give me some light, thank you in advance for reading it.

 

So, 2 months ago I met a girl, 2 dates later we decided to be FWB because (with her own words) we won't have pressure and because in a month she was leaving to work abroad for 5 months. So after the third date, I started to have feelings for her (it was fast hahahaha).

 

I didn't tell her that I had feelings for her after our last encounter, we spent one weekend in a country house and I realised that she wasn't feeling the same way, so the next day I decided to open up and write all my feelings in a letter and send to her.

 

She read it, she told me she cried and she said that she wasn't feeling the same way, you know, she saw me as a friend. She was sorry to hurt me, and all this stuff.

 

The next day, I wrote to her that we shouldn't talk for awhile because all the feelings I had and when I was ready, I will contact her again. She accepted it and told me that she won't "annoy" me, that she respects my decision.

 

So day goes by, I'm in "healing" process, I'm feeling good, no contact of course, she already left the country but then suddenly, bam!

Yesterday she messages me this (after a month with no contact) "Hey, Just to know how is going everything...if you want, don't answer me, I understand. I know you told me to wait, but I miss you."

 

For me, it was totally unexpected, I was doing some photos of a carrot cake and I didn't think about it until the afternoon. I felt anger I don't know why, I asked myself, "Why is she sending me this now?", "Which are her intentions now with this message? She isn't even in the country now".

 

So for the moment, I won't answer, I will still continue with no contact, but one part of me tells me to answer the message because maybe she is feeling lonely and she needs someone, but another part tells me that I shouldn't answer because all the effort I made to heal myself, will be lost.

 

I already read the "No-Contact guide" from the post-it, but all this information applies to someone who was your ex, she isn't my ex, we didn't have a romantic relationship (but the dates were pretty romantic actually), so I don't know if this case is different or not.

 

What's your opinion about all this? I'm acting wrong?

Edited February 10, 2017 by cakeman

[diddy]

Your doing the right thing for you,(the no contact thing) sometimes we as women do that ,u know texting a guy when we are lonely,feeling down,and so on..even when we know we dont have feelings for you,but you have a thing for us.

it helps us in the situations i mentioned above,so dont unless she shows you that,that has changed but an " i miss you " message is not enough. stay strong dont stray you will just regret it.(with the no contact thing i mean)