Mrs. John Adams Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 I just think there is tendency for some people to pile on here and fill in the blanks in the most negative way possible. I am not trying to defend or convict her, just trying to accurately reflect what he has said to date. If she drinks heavily and parties all the time, I'm sure he would have told us. he just did...now what? he has all along. He has revealed a lot.... it isnt important what blanks we fill in...it is important what blanks HE fills in. 1
understand50 Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Back in Feb 2016 we went out to celebrate her friend turning 40 and she got drunk and threw up on the twins in the car. The twins were at the babysitter's house and we picked them up around 1am wife was drunk nearly passed out in 2nd row of seats and on the way home she threw up on the kids. ZH, Are we changing plot lines here? To echo Mrs. Adams, why tell us this? If you are trying to reconcile why run down your wife? So she drinks, and does not do well with it. This would be another challenge to overcome, but why dwell on it and why tell us, unless you want us to be more for divorce. Here is the deal, WHAT DO YOU WANT? We do not matter, what you two do and want? It is looking like you have gone from reconciliation, back to loathing and divorce. This is moving too fast, I suggest you concentrate on one path for awhile, and see where it goes. This stuff takes time, you need to commit to it to one course of action, if that action has has any chance of working. You do not need a "plot" hole in your life. One or the other. I wish you luck.... 1
HereNorThere Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 I just think there is tendency for some people to pile on here and fill in the blanks in the most negative way possible. I am not trying to defend or convict her, just trying to accurately reflect what he has said to date. If she drinks heavily and parties all the time, I'm sure he would have told us. Did you even read the thread? I mean, the way he got her phone was to wait until she drunk and fell asleep. Alcohol is a factor throughout the thread. Try to keep up. 1
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Did you even read the thread? I mean, the way he got her phone was to wait until she drunk and fell asleep. Alcohol is a factor throughout the thread. Try to keep up. no kidding
BaileyB Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Back in Feb 2016 we went out to celebrate her friend turning 40 and she got drunk and threw up on the twins in the car. The twins were at the babysitter's house and we picked them up around 1am wife was drunk nearly passed out in 2nd row of seats and on the way home she threw up on the kids. I can imagine that this kind of behavior is part of what attracted you to your wife all those years ago. When she was 20, you may have thought that she was athletic, outgoing, beautiful, sexy, and fun... She liked to party and have a good time. But, this kind of behavior isn't as attractive in a 40 year old woman, a wife and mother. Her immaturity and lack of self control is not as cute when your 40 year old wife has had so much to drink that she throws up on your children in the car. One of the most interesting things for me was your comment that her parents told you that you wouldn't be able to control her, that they thought she had a mental illness. For parents to say something like that and offer that kind of advice, it really says something... 1
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 I can imagine that this kind of behavior is part of what attracted you to your wife all those years ago. When she was 20, you may have thought that she was athletic, outgoing, beautiful, sexy, and fun... She liked to party and have a good time. But, this kind of behavior isn't as attractive in a 40 year old woman, a wife and mother. Her immaturity and lack of self control is not as cute when your 40 year old wife has had so much to drink that she throws up on your children in the car. One of the most interesting things for me was your comment that her parents told you that you wouldn't be able to control her, that they thought she had a mental illness. For parents to say something like that and offer that kind of advice, it really says something... things that make you go hmmmmmmm
Zona Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Did you even read the thread? I mean, the way he got her phone was to wait until she drunk and fell asleep. Alcohol is a factor throughout the thread. Try to keep up. She was drinking with the neighbor lady, like I said.
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 She was drinking with the neighbor lady, like I said. in addition to many other instances of drinking and puking and misbehaving...and going out with friends and drinking and posting pictures on facebook.
Zona Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 in addition to many other instances of drinking and puking and misbehaving...and going out with friends and drinking and posting pictures on facebook. Ok, here is what we know. She got drunk in 2016 and puked on her kids, she drinks with the neighbor lady and comes home horny, she drank vodka laced jello (or some such thing) at the pool party and puked. She drank when she was with her friends and posted some selfies when she went to see her parents. Doesn't sound like someone who "drinks and parties all the time". However, she is obviously a bad drunk and stopping alcohol altogether is something that may be necessary for any potential reconciliation. She already has self control issues, so alcohol is just fuel on the fire for her. I don't think we can expect him to post every little detail about everything on a public forum. I just hope they are getting the help they obviously need from professional counselors. 1
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Ok, here is what we know. She got drunk in 2016 and puked on her kids, she drinks with the neighbor lady and comes home horny, she drank vodka laced jello (or some such thing) at the pool party and puked. She drank when she was with her friends and posted some selfies when she went to see her parents. Doesn't sound like someone who "drinks and parties all the time". However, she is obviously a bad drunk and stopping alcohol altogether is something that may be necessary for any potential reconciliation. She already has self control issues, so alcohol is just fuel on the fire for her. I don't think we can expect him to post every little detail about everything on a public forum. I just hope they are getting the help they obviously need from professional counselors. zona...we all hope that they ALL get the professional help they need..and have expressed that over and over and over again. Please tell me why you are hell bent on this womans drunken behavior and how you think argueing this point is going to help and who do you think it is going to help? The drunken behavior is not the issue...her nude pictures and video are the issue..her narcissistic behavior is the issue...her non remorseful behavior is the issue...not her drunken behavior. 1
Zona Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 I had a friend when I was a kid who had a mom like this. Poor guy. He was a nice, smart kid and his mom just ruined him. She was just a nasty woman: a hard drinking, hard partying. Her husband couldn't stomach her anymore and took off when my friend was about 12. Well, my friend went from being a good kid to a drug addicted dropout by the end of high school. After school he sort of fell off the map and I lost track of him. I heard rumors he had fallen into some really bad company and had even spent some time in prison. Then about five years ago he contacted me and we renewed our friendship. He's doing well now, but it took year and years of intense therapy and treatment to fix most of the damage his mom did to him, but he will never really be 100%. If I were Zombiehead I would desperately want to save my children from such a fate. I was just responding to this post which I thought mischaracterized the situation.
GoldenR Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 I think we have enough evidence to know exactly what she is and what she isn't. Idk.....there's more and more revelations every day. 1
HereNorThere Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 (edited) If we're going to get into the mental illness aspect of this, her behavior is classified as histrionic. It doesn't mean she has Histrionic Personality Disorder or that it's comorbid with something else. It's not normal though. Read this you tell if that doesn't describe her actions. She needs deep, intensive long term treatment. Not once a month pity party. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder Edited June 7, 2017 by HereNorThere 1
mercy Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 ZH, does your wife read here? Some may call it binge drinking, that's a problem. How has she been since you took the phone away?
Author zombiehead Posted June 7, 2017 Author Posted June 7, 2017 In March 2016 she went out with friends and drove home drunk at 3am. June 2016 she drove home drunk but it was early around 7:30pm. I took video of her stumbling through the house to bed and thought about sending it to her dad.
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 In March 2016 she went out with friends and drove home drunk at 3am. June 2016 she drove home drunk but it was early around 7:30pm. I took video of her stumbling through the house to bed and thought about sending it to her dad. So are you now building a case against her that she is a drunken cheater?
Author zombiehead Posted June 7, 2017 Author Posted June 7, 2017 She doesn't drink daily only when she goes to hang out which is a few times a year, but she can't control her alcohol intake.
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 She doesn't drink daily only when she goes to hang out which is a few times a year, but she can't control her alcohol intake. ok point taken....she cant hold her liquor....now what?
mercy Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 ok point taken....she cant hold her liquor....now what? Just another symptom of lack of impulse control. 1
Friskyone4u Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Ok Zombie, We've established she can't hold her booze. That is not what brought you to this forum. He porn star personna, which is still not fixed, is why you are now on page 60 here. So lets just assume she ain't going drinking any more just so you can get back to the elephant in the room. So if you took away her smartphone, lets see how long before she starts to be really pissed at that. but how about the home computer or laptop. Is there keylogger on it??? I still cannot believe the post before where you said she comes out in sexy negligee, makes no attempt to seduce you, and then disappears into the bathroom phone locked in hand. Thats as clueless as it gets 1
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 Just another symptom of lack of impulse control. Oh Mercy...I agree He has built a case...we all know she is a cheater...we all know she cant handle her liquor. Now what? He has 55 pages of advice....he keeps building a case. Now what? What are you going to do now ZH? Are you going to continue to complain....or are you going to take her to get help? Or are you going to divorce her? We are all convinced. ...well except Zona....that she has a problem. What are you going to do about her problem? 2
mercy Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 (edited) Mrs.JA's post is # 900 ! After 900 posts, where are you at today compared to post # 1, ZH? I think Zona meant well. Edited June 7, 2017 by mercy not telling
Zona Posted June 7, 2017 Posted June 7, 2017 (edited) We are all convinced. ...well except Zona....that she has a problem. What are you going to do about her problem? Actually I was right on the point I was trying to make. She doesn't drink very often, but when she does, it can be a train wreck because of her lack of self-control. There is no problem that alcohol can't make worse. Of course she has extremely serious issues to deal with that may cost the marriage. If she didn't, ZH wouldn't be here. I think what we all would like to know is if a professional therapist/counselor thinks these issues are resolvable, and if she is to the point where she will do whatever it takes to commit to getting better. Edited June 7, 2017 by Zona
Author zombiehead Posted June 7, 2017 Author Posted June 7, 2017 I was up late last night doing online reading about infidelity. One article discussed how a traumatic event like the loss of a family member could trigger an affair. We did have something similar happen a couple of months before she started sexting. We lost 3 pets in early 2015. First was our dog, and that was her first dog she has ever had. Before we were married I was living in my house and she had her apartment. On weekends she would stay with me. One Sunday morning we were leaving the house and this puppy came running up to us. She was in bad shape, full of fleas and ticks. I asked around the neighborhood if anyone lost a puppy and called the animal shelter to let them know I found a puppy if someone calls about it. No calls so Monday I took the puppy to the vet and got her all cleaned up and shots, she also had intestinal parasites. We kept the puppy, she was the best dog I ever had, so smart, playful, just a great dog. Then one night, again before we were married we were sitting out on my back patio watching it lightly rain and we heard a kitten crying way off in back of my yard somewhere. So we get up and go look and find a tiny little orange tabby in a puddle of water next to the fence post. We take in the kitten, ask around the neighborhood and nobody claimed her so we kept her. About a year later, still not married, I was living in my house she was living in her apartment the wedding date was several months away and we found another kitten in our yard. We pulled up in the driveway and this small grey animal raced into our bushes. I asked her, “did you see that kitten”, she said “yeah but that was a rat”. Anyway we get out and I find the kitten in the bushes, a boy and we kept him. So we get married and my wife gets pregnant so we decided to sell the house and get a bigger one that is a one story so the babies don’t fall down the stairs. When the twins were born we already had 3 pets, one dog and two cats. The twins loved the pets and the pets loved the twins. Our dog was gentle with the twins and the cats pretty much stayed and away and just looked at them. In 2014 our dog started to get cancer, we took her to the vet and they said there is not much you can do unless you want to pay thousands of dollars for surgery and chemo and that probably will not help her anyway. So we decided to just let the cancer run its course and keep her comfortable. Our dog remained happy and playful despite the tumors growing on her body. Finally in early 2015 the tumors were shutting down our dog’s internal organs and it was time to put her to sleep. My wife and I held her together in the vet’s office with tears running down our faces while the vet put her to sleep. The twins were also devastated. It was like my wife and I lost our 1st child when our dog passed away. 2 months go by and it did seem normal not having a dog in the house. We looked online and found a rescue puppy that was so cute and same breed so we adopted her. It was tough in the beginning housebreaking her but all is good now, she is a great sweet, smart playful dog and the twins love her. About one month after we get the new puppy we noticed that we haven’t seen the orange tabby around. So we call for her and don’t see her in the house. The orange tabby likes to sneak out the backdoor and has gotten out before so I went searching the neighborhood for her. I couldn’t find her so I look around the house and again and look around our bed and she was there, she had passed away. The orange tabby was my wife’s favorite, my wife would whistle and the orange tabby would come running to her. When my wife would be getting ready in the bathroom the orange tabby was right by her side, on the vanity drinking water from the sink. My wife took the loss really hard. The next morning I took the orange tabby to the vet so the cremation service would come and collect her and bring her remains back. So now we have the remains of our dog and cat on the fireplace. The next month or big boy cat stopped eating and couldn’t jump on the bed so I took him to the vet and they told me that his heart was giving out and they recommend putting him to sleep. So I call my wife and have her come to the vet’s office and we hold him together like we did with our dog, crying and petting him while the vet puts him to sleep. I guess you could say we lost our first 3 children in a short time span. Then about 2 months later the sexting started. Five weeks ago I thought it was time to get some more cats. My wife and the twins love cats. I found a lady that ran a kitten adoption service out of her house for the humane society. I made an appointment in the evening to come view some kittens. After work I picked up the family and didn’t tell them where we were going. I pull up to this lady’s house and my wife and kids were asking what are we doing here, whose house is this, I said it is a surprise. So we go in and she has tons of kittens running around and I told them to pick 2. They were so happy, the wife and twins picked out two boys, and another really cute orange tabby and a Turkish van because his spots were similar to our dog’s spots. We had to wait another 2 weeks because they were too small to bring home yet . Its been 3 weeks now with the kittens, our dog is really gentle with them. The kittens rampage around the house, they are best buddies, the twins love them and so does my wife. I bought one of those really tall cat condos scratching post things online and it was delivered the day of the pool party. The twins and I put it together and the kittens helped. The kittens were climbing on it while the twins and I were building it, it was a great time. My wife watched and laughed, a really nice family experience. Then later that afternoon we left for the pool party. You guys all know how that went. After my son was groped and we went outside to talk and get away from the mayhem he said, “I want to go home, I want to go home and play with my kittens” while he is wiping his tears from his face. So I go in and round up our stuff, I tell our daughter it is time to go and come out of the pool and change her clothes. I tell my wife what happened and she doesn’t want to leave, she asks our son if he will swim some more and he tells her he wants to go. So was still reluctant it took about 15 minutes to get her out the door. Maybe if she saw what I saw she would have been more motivated to leave
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