avoforastig Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 (edited) I went on a first date with woman last week. It was on a Friday night. We met for drinks at 730 and ended up hanging out until 1 am. I had a lot of fun as we ended up bar hopping together, which is something I enjoy. The night ended with a pleasant kiss. I felt very energized about the date and thought it was a great first date. We planned a second, which involved getting a dinner at a unique ethnic restaurant the following Thursday. We ended up getting a drink afterwards as well. It was a more mellow date. The date ended by me walking her back to her place and a short make out session. I still had fun but it didn't pack the energy of the first date. I'm feeling a little confused about how things are going. Are some dates just inherently more exciting/energetic than others due to the activities or cirucumstances? After about three dates, I always feel pressured to decide if I want to move towards a relationship or not. Is there a magic number in terms of the number of dates to determine if its worth pursuing or is this just a fictitious number? There is definitely a strong, mutual physical attraction, but it just takes time to get to know a person otherwise. Any thoughts? Also, how far should I space out the dates? Any unique ideas for a third date(winters limit options)? Edited February 10, 2017 by avoforastig additional thoughts
Redhead14 Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 I went on a first date with woman last week. It was on a Friday night. We met for drinks at 730 and ended up hanging out until 1 am. I had a lot of fun as we ended up bar hopping together, which is something I enjoy. The night ended with a pleasant kiss. I felt very energized about the date and thought it was a great first date. We planned a second, which involved getting a dinner at a unique ethnic restaurant the following Thursday. We ended up getting a drink afterwards as well. It was a more mellow date. The date ended by me walking her back to her place and a short make out session. I still had fun but it didn't pack the energy of the first date. I'm feeling a little confused about how things are going. Are some dates just inherently more exciting/energetic than others due to the activities or cirucumstances? After about three dates, I always feel pressured to decide if I want to move towards a relationship or not. Is there a magic number in terms of the number of dates to determine if its worth pursuing or is this just a fictitious number? There is definitely a strong, mutual physical attraction, but it just takes time to get to know a person otherwise. Any thoughts? Also, how far should I space out the dates? Any unique ideas for a third date(winters limit options)? At two dates, projecting out as to whether you want to move forward for a relationship is premature still. Just go with the flow. And, yeah, one date may be more "exciting" than another, but as long as it wasn't horrible, what's the problem with asking for another date? If you like her enough, keep good contact with her for a day or so and ask her for another date. I always feel pressured to decide if I want to move towards a relationship -- Who is pressuring you? Dating is a process, not an event. Just relax. Unique ideas for winter . . . that's a little tough, but a nice walk in the snow, followed by hot chocolate at a quaint place, go someplace that has a fireplace. A car ride in the country, stop for nice lunch. Ice skating. Go to a museum or aquarium. Indoor miniature golf.
smackie9 Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 Way more alcohol was consumed on the first date....that's why. That being said I would question if it was alcohol induced chemistry.....
Author avoforastig Posted February 10, 2017 Author Posted February 10, 2017 Way more alcohol was consumed on the first date....that's why. That being said I would question if it was alcohol induced chemistry..... This did cross my mind, but I think that should sort itself out pretty quickly, right?
d0nnivain Posted February 10, 2017 Posted February 10, 2017 You're hung up on the myth that sex happens on the 3rd date. I prefer exclusivity before intimacy but 3 dates is awfully fast for that for me. You can keep dating for now but if you don't start to feel something deepening then you can back off.
Author avoforastig Posted February 10, 2017 Author Posted February 10, 2017 (edited) You're hung up on the myth that sex happens on the 3rd date. I prefer exclusivity before intimacy but 3 dates is awfully fast for that for me. You can keep dating for now but if you don't start to feel something deepening then you can back off. I don't think I'm hung up on sex necessarily. However, when there is a strong physical attraction to the person, I do feel like my view of the person may become a little distorted. I find this to be a conundrum as I still have sexual needs even when I'm not in a relationship. Waiting for the "one" doesn't necessarily seem feasible for me. At the same time, I want to be respectful of everyone's emotions and don't want to lead anyone on. I almost always get a second date from a first date, so I think projecting respect is generally a good strategy. So far, I've been on two dates. The first was probably a 10 out of 10, the second was a 7.5/10. I may have gotten a bit ahead of myself mentally after the first date and just needed a reality check. Thoughts? Edited February 10, 2017 by avoforastig
Recommended Posts