Logo Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I feel that the older I get, the smaller the dating pool becomes. Why is it so hard to find women to go on dates with? Where would I go to meet eligible bachelorettes? I've already ruled out bars and clubs, and online dating is like playing the lottery. I'm a handsome guy, some women have even told me that I'm cute, sexy or hot. I'm also well educated, have a healthy sense of humor and I'm fit, so what gives? 1
Sweetfish Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I feel that the older I get, the smaller the dating pool becomes. Why is it so hard to find women to go on dates with? Where would I go to meet eligible bachelorettes? I've already ruled out bars and clubs, and online dating is like playing the lottery. I'm a handsome guy, some women have even told me that I'm cute, sexy or hot. I'm also well educated, have a healthy sense of humor and I'm fit, so what gives? OLD is actually great for older men.. just depends if your excuting it right.
basil67 Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 How old are you? Do you have a decent circle of friends?
madjac74 Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 Just hang in there. I don't think its anymore frustrating for an older guy than a younger guy. We just put more pressure on ourselves because we feel like the dating window is closing. Take a step back and just enjoy yourself and you never know who will pop into your life. 4
Tribble Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I don't have much advise, just thought I'd say I know what you mean. My Mum kindly let me know her friend was asking after me and my Mum told her what I'd been up to. When she found out I was single, she told my Mum I'd better hurry up as finding a significant other gets harder the older you get. Yep, thanks for that! And thanks for telling me Mum! My Dad also made a veiled reference to how I can't afford to be picky... *sigh. All that aside, I think another poster is right, it's always hard regardless of age. Lots of people are single and looking for someone.
hercules22 Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 yep that why i dont want to leave it to late hoping to find someone soon im nearly 25 myself also feel the same way
BluesPower Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 Guys, I don't know where you live or how old you are, but I am having the opposite problem. I am having to make so tough choices because I just don't have enough time for all of them. I'm 52, ok looking and life is good. I think you may be too shy and selling yourself short. I took a little hottie out this week and just had a great date. We will probably see each other this weekend as well. My dance card if too full right now. 4
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I does get smaller in two ways. 1). people peel off & partner up and 2). the built in meeting somebody through school goes away. However it is possible to meet people later in life. I was 39 when I met my husband. It was a 1st marriage for both of us. Bars, clubs & OLD are probably the most obvious but they are not the only places to meet somebody. You will have to make an effort. Try a combination of the following: 1. At work. Not your company but who do you routinely see on the commute, at lunch, where you get your morning coffee, who delivers to your office, at a convention or gathering for your industry? 2. Networking for business. Go to a chamber of commerce type event. I met my husband at a business card exchange. 3. Go speed dating. That almost never has enough men 4. Through you local church. Go to services & any social activities afterwards 5. Be open to introductions / fix ups from friends & families. If a blind date sounds horrible, get the person you know to invite you & the person they want to fix you up with & a few other people to meet for a drink. If things go well, you & the other person peel off & chat. Very little pressure 6. Attend singles events / groups. They are not all traditional meat markets. There are all sorts of niche groups that do various things. Some see movies, taste wine, go hiking etc. My friend met her husband through a ski club. Even though I don't ski I got a few dates by attending the pure social things that club did. I joined one called Leashes & Lovers because I could bring my dog who made me feel more comfortable. Before I met my husband I was in the process of signing up for a singles golf match. They pair you with somebody else to play 18 holes; I figured even if it wasn't love at least I'd get to play. 7. Volunteer to do something you are passionate about. Raise money to cure a disease. Serve as a docent at your local museum. Join a Board. Protest something. Save animals or the planet. 8. Play on a co-ed sports team 9. Get involved in your alumni association 10. Join a community group like the Elks, The Lions, Rotary etc 11. Throw a block party / hall / building party to get to know your neighbors. 12. Go on a singles cruise. Be careful with this one because the person you meet may be G.U.D. 13. The cliché of the grocery store or laundry mat. Do always smile at strangers when you are out. 14. Get 4-5 buddies together & have a dinner party. Have each guest bring a member of the opposite sex whom they adore but who they aren't dating -- a BFF, a sister, a cousin etc. Have all the guests socialize. It's kind of like a group blind date but it's not one on one & everybody there was vouched for 15. The gym 2
ElizabethIII Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I'd say the pool does get smaller as you get older. You wont find many early 20s living with partners and married. Once you get to late 20s and into 30s, plenty of people living together or married. The pool is naturally smaller as you age as more have made long term commitments.
ElizabethIII Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 It's also smaller when most women won't even consider never married guys over 40. Guys generally look for women much much younger than themselves, especially at that age. If men looked at women in their late 30s and 40s, ie their own age, they may have more luck. 2
CloudyHead Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I agree with OP . . . I'm 48 and OLD is the only viable option for me. I live in a rural Southern town. I had to change my attitude about dating in that I decided that I would meet most of the men who were interested in meeting me. Honestly, OLD made me realize how sane and stable my life is at this point in time. Many of the men that I met in my age bracket were living with one/both parents (due to divorce), had financial problems, health issues, or had tunnel vision as to the type of woman they wanted. One man (52) asked me to dinner then afterwards told me he would not date me because I had two children (11 and 15) living with me. I commented that you knew that before you asked me out to dinner so why even bother meeting me? No response. I enjoyed going out with men in their 20's and 30's. Those dates were more relaxed and fun and the men didn't have as many hang ups. The only drawback to men in this age bracket is that they can't stay off their phones!! 1
WomenWubber Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I wouldn't say it gets smaller but people's expectations of you will change as you get older. I'm a handsome guy, some women have even told me that I'm cute, sexy or hot. I'm also well educated, have a healthy sense of humor and I'm fit, so what gives? So in a nutshell you are pleasant to look at and you can carry on a conversation. Those are very important qualities when you are dating in your early 20s. But this importance decreases as women get older and start looking for other qualities in men. Read the replies from women on this thread and you will have an idea.
Larryville Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 While I found a rare gem, I admit this is a bias. There is a stereotype that says never married men over 40 are socially flawed. I will just say this, any dude that I knew who was over 40 never married, especially if they had no kids clearly had issues and I could point one out a mile away. From personality, style, body language, awkwardness… it would be obvious to anyone paying casual attention. As far as the dating pool getting smaller, that absolutely not the case, the issue is other dudes and dudes crude, course, rude and in many instances inappropriate behavior when meeting and speaking to a lot of women. I wish I could share a few emails a couple of friends let me read that several dudes sent them via an online dating site. Guys in their late 40’s and 50’s sounding like junior high kids or idiot frat boys. Reading these emails fundamentally changed how I viewed dating and what is worse these dudes were NOT rare. Some dudes simply get off by being crude and I don’t get that, I’ve had too many women tell me that. While I sometimes share the frustration of OLD in particular many of us men who are NOT rude, crude talk down to women and who are honest and straight forward with women pay the price from dudes who act so reprehensibly towards women. It is just a basic human respect thing. 2
stillafool Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I'm a handsome guy, some women have even told me that I'm cute, sexy or hot. How about one of these ladies? 2
GunslingerRoland Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I feel that the older I get, the smaller the dating pool becomes. Why is it so hard to find women to go on dates with? Where would I go to meet eligible bachelorettes? I've already ruled out bars and clubs, and online dating is like playing the lottery. I'm a handsome guy, some women have even told me that I'm cute, sexy or hot. I'm also well educated, have a healthy sense of humor and I'm fit, so what gives? Well if you rule out meeting women at places where singles typically go like bars, and online dating that cuts down your odds. Typically most people get with someone eventually so yeah the dating pool does get smaller over time. But that being said, people divorce and break up so there is always new additions to the dating pool too. And it's a two way street, less single women means less single men. What interests do you have? Is there any way you can use those to meet more people? 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I was always under the impression Single Men w/o Kids do really well later on (especially in their 30s), since there are still a lot of Women racing the clock, and there aren't as many guys without baggage left?
central Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 In your 20s, single men outnumber single women by about 118 to 100. The ratio is about even at age 40, and then there are more women than men - at age 55, there are 83 single men per 100 single women, and by 64, there are only 62 single men per 100 single women. Marriage Market for All Single Adults | Pew Research Center There are also geographical imbalances: The New, Interactive Singles Map. 2
Jj66 Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 Maybe the pool is smaller as you get older but the ratios are the same. The age of 45 was my prime time. It was easier than ever to get a date. I met a woman who was in her early 40s with no kids and never been married. When I mentioned this to people the first question was always "what's wrong with her?" So this bias exists for both sexes. I went out with her a few times until she showed herself to be bat**** crazy. All of the sudden I realized why she had never been married. Maybe there is a reason for that bias.
preraph Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 If you'll date women the same age as you, you won't experience the dating pool getting smaller as you get older. 2
Fair Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 If you'll date women the same age as you, you won't experience the dating pool getting smaller as you get older. Now here's a good point!
Author Logo Posted February 9, 2017 Author Posted February 9, 2017 Looks like it's time to volunteer someplace or join a group that shares my hobbies.
SevenCity Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 Maybe the pool is smaller as you get older but the ratios are the same. The age of 45 was my prime time. It was easier than ever to get a date. I met a woman who was in her early 40s with no kids and never been married. When I mentioned this to people the first question was always "what's wrong with her?" So this bias exists for both sexes. I went out with her a few times until she showed herself to be bat**** crazy. All of the sudden I realized why she had never been married. Maybe there is a reason for that bias. Yep. The last three women I dated all had psychological issues. 45, 40, and 43. All wanted to get married, the last two wanted kids. None of them were married. All of them were nuts - some worse than others. When a women proclaims that she wants kids and is over 40 and never married it screams that either they have issues driving men away or her expectations are unrealistic. These were attractive women as well. Not to mention the divorced ones with kids who chew your ear off about how horrible their ex is. Also, at this age people are so set in their ways that they often refuse to deal with anything that interrupts their norm. It makes them so rigid and inflexible its impossible to have a relationship with them. Younger women tend to be a lot more flexible. All this is once you've passed the laundry list of requirements they have. You have to be this tall, have these color eyes, blah blah blah. Yes, the best bet is to find a woman who was widowed lol. OLD is my only route now - I don't run into any women I would date in my daily routine.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 At 28 I feel like there are plenty of Women for me to go out with, and I usually get 2-3 dates at the minimum with most of the ones that I like. I always seem to stall out around date 5-6 though. I think the problem is that a lot of Women in their 20s have too many options, and it's REALLY easy to get passed up. I'm a Tall/decently handsome guy (Maybe a 6.5/7) who is very social, and I have my moments where I can be pretty funny -- but if they're window shopping 9s and 10s, it's really hard to keep up. Have Date # 6 with a girl tomorrow, but I'm getting a gut feeling that things are going to tank -- hopefully I'm wrong, and pleasantly surprised instead
StringsAndSticks Posted February 9, 2017 Posted February 9, 2017 I say, why even bother? Save yourself some money and heartache. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 40, and I'm now working two jobs to try to scrape and get rid of the debt from my last 2 girlfriends. How on Earth I ever ended up with them is beyond me.... They were absolutely beautiful women, and I'm, well, let's just say not someone who any girl would give a second look at. Plus, I'm not rich, and I'm kind of a loser. Anywho, long story short, I somehow ended up with them and now I'm left with a mountain of bills. You sound like you at least have something going for you, so take my advice and don't go looking for trouble.
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