Frogg_Style Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 (edited) My girlfriend (28f ) and I got into a our first fight(we both were drinking) few months ago (dating for 10 months) We both said things we didn't mean heat of the moment(I told her she has been a complete b*** to me lately bc of her ex and she accused me of not wanting to spend time with her and her kids which I spend 3 to 4 days a week with we do family dates all the time, we even do 5k and 10k together, I started playing hockey again work a full time job), I apologized to her after the fight, she still hasn't apologized to me, a little back ground on her she was in the service, married twice, 2 different kids from 2 different people (found this out recently about the marriages, I knew she had 2 kids not from 2 different people) any ways, she keeps bringing up the what I said in the past to her, it seems I can't do anything right anymore(I open doors pull out chairs and treat her very well for the most part), after this fight say didn't talk to me for over a week, i asked her why is she being so cold to me, her response was I am an a**hole for saying what I did, and I don't deserve her and all I do is kiss her butt, 2 weeks before the fight I took her to the beach, had flowers sent to the room, waited on her hand and foot, wrote her poetry and home made chocolate strawberries to show her what she means to me everything was great until the following week when she started her crap again throwing my mistakes in my face, she is keeping a scorecard with me it's bad i feel like I can't say anything around her anymore, she was really nice until we had a fight, she is a completely different person now, she keeps taking verbal jabs at me when ever she can, the last time we were together she got drunk and told me she was comparing me to her ex's (don't know if that is good or bad), she tells me she loves me, her girls love me and I'm her family, then she will be completely different the next day, it's like when she drinks she is really sweet to me, I feel like she is manipulating me in a sense, she threatened to break up with me bc she said i haven't changed, I don't know what she means, its like she can't let go of the past, also when we went out the other night a girl hit on me at the bar she got pissed and told me she owns me I thought she was joking by the way she said it, she has been the domimant person in the relationship sometimes she treat me like one of her kids,she rarely communicates with me now about anything, she started to with hold any affection towards me, we have sex but it feels cold, I love her but she is making me feel really bad about myself for what I said, I feel like she has to be the victim, she started the fight with me, I feel like I am paying for every one else mistakes that were done to her, ty you for the responses Edited February 8, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs; please use them ~6
coolheadal Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 Sounds like there is some weakness on your part. Did you give into her for something. Like just to please her. Once you do that she has your hooked line and sinker. We are men we need to be the one in control or lead the pack. She's in the military so now she's in charge of you. Stand in line Mr. That's what you are now a puppy dog. You got to get your self-esteem back and your giving into her too much. Stand your ground as a man. So what she's been married twice and has two different kids from two different husbands. Can't help that fact because it happens. Not a bad thing. I feel this woman has been treated bad in the past so now she's a bit insecure also. Damage woman isn't the best to be with. Your all over the place with worry what she going to do now will she talk nice to me all sorts of things flying in your mind. Now your going to try to please her that's the worst thing to do. She's like to take charge. But no man nor woman should be subjected to verbal abuse. She's doing that to you know. If I was you just walk away unless she won't calm down for you and her to talk reasonable?
Gaeta Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 Sounds like you broke something during that fight and it can't be glued back together. If my BF called me a B, drunk or not, it would be the end of us. The best thing for you to do is to break up. You both need to cool down. Maybe you can reconnect down the road when you got both your heads back on properly.
coolheadal Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 This woman won't let up on you your done for.. The kids option there you got yelled at by her for not being their for her kids. That's not your role but you can do what you can to take care of their needs for her. It's really messy at your place now. All you can do is relax and not get into it with her.
Author Frogg_Style Posted February 8, 2017 Author Posted February 8, 2017 (edited) She started this fight with me, she won't own up for what she said to me, most time stuff doesn't bother me what she said really doesnt bother me, I don't want her to think she can treat me like a door mat, I know she has been treated like crap before that's why I try to treat her good she tells me all the time how amazing and great of a guy I am, except after our fight, I do work full time play hockey 2 days a week and spend mostly the rest of my time with her and I help her out as much as possible with her girls, we don't live together so I spend most time at her house, she has been making feel like crap for this, I feel like I'm never going to live this down, she told me Im nothing like her ex's, told me f**k you 5 timesduring the argument, Im not good enough for and stuff like that, I tried talking to her about and she just shuts down and starts to ignoring me, so I really don't know what to fo, I know of I pressure she will get more pissed at me Edited February 8, 2017 by Frogg_Style Changed
Gaeta Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 she told me Im nothing like her ex's, told me f**k you 5 timesduring the argument, Im not good enough for and stuff like that, I tried talking to her about and she just shuts down and starts to ignoring me, so I really don't know what to fo, I know of I pressure she will get more pissed at me Words can do irreversible damages. You both said things that are unforgivable. When a couple is calling each other names, telling each other to F up, telling each other things like you're no good or you're less of a man than my ex, it's time to break up.
Author Frogg_Style Posted February 8, 2017 Author Posted February 8, 2017 Words can do some damage, it was all heat of the moment and alcohol (not making excuses) her ex has been messing with her i think she took all that one me but if I not good as her ex, why isn't she with him, I just don't know If I should walk away, I know it was one fight but she seem likes she holds grudges, I don't like people giving me the silent treatment
Gaeta Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 Words can do some damage, it was all heat of the moment and alcohol (not making excuses) her ex has been messing with her i think she took all that one me but if I not good as her ex, why isn't she with him, I just don't know If I should walk away, I know it was one fight but she seem likes she holds grudges, I don't like people giving me the silent treatment It's just my 2 cents but once a woman tells a man to F off, and that he's no good, she has pretty much lost all respect for him. See what she's holding in between her teeth? that's your balls, get them back and move on.
Author Frogg_Style Posted February 8, 2017 Author Posted February 8, 2017 (edited) I don't know if she is trying to control and manipulate me. That thought has been in my head, I never compared anyone to my ex's, this is the first time had an argument with someone who acted like this, I feel like I am back in high school, there were days I noticed she would be nice to me then cold to me, Edited February 8, 2017 by Frogg_Style Added
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