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Is She An Ex????

Dis

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Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

Posted
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Thanks for all your replies! :D

 

The last message he sent me, he was talking about his sister so I casually asked him if that was his sister in the pic. There's nothing wrong with asking.

 

And I'm not saying there's definitely something wrong if that is his ex. If he judges me for asking then he shouldn't have put the pic up. Like VH said, one needs to ask questions to get to know someone. Our convos are always upbeat and fun. I've been my sweet self. Hes been great too. I'm not worried about asking in the polite, casual way I did. It's not the end of the world either way :)

 

Why did you need to ask though? What purpose does it serve?

 

At some level you were insecure about there being a female in his picture(s).

 

Even if you were really just curious, most guys won't see it that way.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I would not ask, I would just assume it's a friend or a colleague. I mean who's dummy enough to put up a pic of an ex on a dating profile. I know dummies but not THAT dummies.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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I get that it's in bad taste to have an Ex in a photo. But if you like them enough to go out with them, why does it even matter in the end?

 

After I've gone on 1-2 dates with someone I forget all about their OLD Profile.

 

All of you gals are acting like it's an important mystery to solve :laugh:

 

 

 

If an OLD prospect was asking me who a female in my pictures is, I would probably answer and try to make light of the situation. Although it would probably put me off a bit -- if they're going to get jealous about a picture when we haven't even gone out yet, there might be more jealousy in store down the road.

It's not about jealousy. I was inquiring about the pic is a casual, polite way

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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I would not ask, I would just assume it's a friend or a colleague. I mean who's dummy enough to put up a pic of an ex on a dating profile. I know dummies but not THAT dummies.

 

Hey G! :D

 

I already asked. He was talking about his sister so I asked if that was who was in the pic with him

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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It's not about jealousy. I was inquiring about the pic is a casual, polite way

 

D: In your head you should feel above all this. You are the prettiest, the sexiest and no long-legs-blond can compete with you. A woman that is confident in her sexiness does not notice other women around.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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Why did you need to ask though? What purpose does it serve?

 

At some level you were insecure about there being a female in his picture(s).

 

Even if you were really just curious, most guys won't see it that way.

 

Lol why are you making all these assumptions?

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

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It's not about jealousy. I was inquiring about the pic is a casual, polite way

 

You were casually and politely insecure then. There is no reason to ask otherwise.

 

The manner in which you asked might not have been rude per se, but he can probably tell that you're trying to find out who all the women in his photos are.

 

Lol why are you making all these assumptions?

 

Why are you getting defensive? I'm just trying to point out that your behavior would be typically associated with being insecure by a lot of Men.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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D: In your head you should feel above all this. You are the prettiest, the sexiest and no long-legs-blond can compete with you. A woman that is confident in her sexiness does not notice other women around.

 

Awwww thanks G!!! :love:

 

She wasn't as pretty as me. It wasn't about looks or feeling like I wasn't attractive enough.

 

It was about what it means to him to have that pic up. Is he still hung up on her? Etc. And maybe it means nothing. Who knows.

Sweetfish Established Member

Sweetfish

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I wouldnt care about that

 

What wouldnt be cool is if she wasnt an ex (maybe a cousin) and he gets the impression that I'm one of those jealous types...and there goes that date

 

 

I think you over reacting.... does this mean a female cannot have no men, kids, or people in their OLD profile.

 

Wonder if all the women are skipping the good guys on techinical details and when they find said "perfect" guy the guy is riddle with issues because those are the ones who perfect hiding all their flaws.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Awwww thanks G!!! :love:

 

She wasn't as pretty as me. It wasn't about looks or feeling like I wasn't attractive enough.

 

It was about what it means to him to have that pic up. Is he still hung up on her? Etc. And maybe it means nothing. Who knows.

 

I remember once putting a picture of me and a male colleague. We were at a Xmas party and he had his arms around my waist. He was also 15 years younger. Now that I think of it, men looking at my profile probably thought wow, she likes them young and hot and wonder if he's still hanging around!! You know why I had put that picture up? Because I looked good on it ! lol. It had nothing to do with the guy.

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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You were casually and politely insecure then. There is no reason to ask otherwise.

The manner in which you asked might not have been rude per se, but he can probably tell that you're trying to find out who all the women in his photos are.

Why are you getting defensive? I'm just trying to point out that your behavior would be typically associated with being insecure by a lot of Men.

 

Can I ask why a man would put up a pic of himself with a very attractive blonde on his dating profile with no explanation as to who she was?

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Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

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Can I ask why a man would put up a pic of himself with a very attractive blonde on his dating profile with no explanation as to who she was?

 

Not everything needs to be spelled out. It could be his sister or cousin.

 

Or it could be his old childhood friend.

 

Who cares. People put up pictures that they look good in, sometimes other people are in them.

 

They don't owe you an explanation for every photo that has someone of the opposite gender in it.

 

 

 

 

Like I said, I've seen tons of Women on OLD with Guys/Kids in their photos, and I don't flip out over it.

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Jj66 Established Member

Jj66

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Choosing pics for an OLD site is actually very difficult. It seemed like every picture I have of me had someone else in it. Do I put up a picture of me and some other dudes? Which one am I? What about pics of me and women? Is that someone he is involved with? Me and my kids? Me and an ex? Certainly not a bathroom selfie? A car selfie? Do I get one of my bros to take pics of me for my profile? Do I hire a photographer? Oh no, not like the women with the glamor shots. It's so hard. So I give a lot of leeway.

 

 

My only strict rule: I "swipe left" on any woman who puts a picture of her kids on an OLD site. I actually LIKE kids. Their pictures do not belong on an OLD site in my opinion.

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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

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Can I ask why a man would put up a pic of himself with a very attractive blonde on his dating profile with no explanation as to who she was?
The vast majority of pictures in profiles don't have captions on them. If I had to guess, I'd say maybe 1/10 of the profiles I looked at had captions.

 

As for the picture choice, people choose pictures that they think look good. When I used OLD, one of my pictures was me dipping the maid of honor at a friend's wedding. It was a great picture.

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olivetree Established Member

olivetree

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There is no reason to have other people in your photos on OLD.

 

There is such a thing as cropping.

 

Seeing ppl of the opposite sex in a guy's OLD profile is a turn-off, and it's also disrespectful to his friends/family/exes who don't want their face on a dating site.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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I remember once putting a picture of me and a male colleague. We were at a Xmas party and he had his arms around my waist. He was also 15 years younger. Now that I think of it, men looking at my profile probably thought wow, she likes them young and hot and wonder if he's still hanging around!! You know why I had put that picture up? Because I looked good on it ! lol. It had nothing to do with the guy.

 

This is true too amd I considered this. I'm really not up in arms about this. It's not a huge deal. Just wanted to run it by you guys. At first I thought it might be a red flag. Now I don't think its as big of a deal as I thought it was

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Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

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There is no reason to have other people in your photos on OLD.

 

There is such a thing as cropping.

 

Seeing ppl of the opposite sex in a guy's OLD profile is a turn-off, and it's also disrespectful to his friends/family/exes who don't want their face on a dating site.

 

Oh cmon... Cropping is hokey.

 

These same pictures are littered all over Facebook for the world to see, a dating site is no big deal.

 

The only thing that is a MUST is having ONLY yourself in your primary photo, that way people can tell which person is you.

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rushed Established Member

rushed

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Did I miss it? Is she his sister? I'm curious!

 

But I'm like you, too, as well as all of my friends who have used OLD. We HATE it when we see pics of the guy with another girl, especially if there is nothing in their profile to indicate who she is. It screams lack of thought.

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olivetree Established Member

olivetree

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Oh cmon... Cropping is hokey.

 

These same pictures are littered all over Facebook for the world to see, a dating site is no big deal.

 

The only thing that is a MUST is having ONLY yourself in your primary photo, that way people can tell which person is you.

 

Okay, maybe friends and family is a bit much but you should always crop out exes.

Seriously... don't care how good that picture of you is, you just ruined it w/ your exes mug.

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Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

Posted
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Did I miss it? Is she his sister? I'm curious!

 

But I'm like you, too, as well as all of my friends who have used OLD. We HATE it when we see pics of the guy with another girl, especially if there is nothing in their profile to indicate who she is. It screams lack of thought.

 

Who cares who she is? It's probably a friend or family member, and they don't owe you an explanation about it. If you want to pass on a guy for a female being in his pictures, you're probably doing him a favor -- insecurity is not attractive.

olivetree Established Member

olivetree

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Who cares who she is? It's probably a friend or family member, and they don't owe you an explanation about it. If you want to pass on a guy for a female being in his pictures, you're probably doing him a favor -- insecurity is not attractive.

 

It's not always about insecurity.

 

For me it's kind of a humbleness thing.

 

If a man has his arm around an attractive woman in his photos, unless he clearly labels it as a family member, it looks egotistical.

I skipped those guys along with guys with their shirts off.

I would do the same if a guy had mentioned all of his awards and achievements.

 

Some things are just better found out for yourself.

 

And another thing is if it is an ex, it looks like he's still hung up on her.

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vanhalenfan Established Member

vanhalenfan

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So, after all this, did he get back to you yet??? :D

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SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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The guy could read into this as insecurity / jealousy as innocuous as the inquiry was made. People say you should have pics with other people on your old profile because it shows you are social. Others say it should only be of you.

 

What escapes most people who are bothered by a pic with the opposite gender is this: WHO DO YOU THINK TOOK ALL THEIR SOLO SHOTS??

 

Yes, most are taken by the person they were sleeping with at the time. I dated another girl who had a gorgeous pic of her blowing out a birthday candle at a nice restaurant. Guess who took it? Yep, the guy she was banging st the time.

 

Although I would never put a pic of an ex up (that's strange), I might put a pic with a woman if it was a good one. I would block her face though as she likely wouldn't want to be on a dating site.

 

And cropped pics are even worse - that other half of your arm was around someone you used to have sex with.

 

Some food for thought :)

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Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
refrence to deleted post removed ~T
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Okay, maybe friends and family is a bit much but you should always crop out exes.

Seriously... don't care how good that picture of you is, you just ruined it w/ your exes mug.

 

We should never have pictures of us with our ex, even if the ex i cut out, it's so tacky.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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I heard back from him. He's half way across the country on a business trip this week

 

She's not his sister or an ex....

 

"No, thats a girl I used to work with. I just dont have many pics of myself so I had to use whatever I could find. My sister is actually really pretty though. A little too pretty for her own good, she gets whatever she wants. Shes a little spoiled. I'm glad you can come out. Does Sunday work for you?"

 

I'm glad I asked and did so in a polite, casual way

 

Yay! :D

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