Mstaken315 Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 I dont know what his intentions are. He broke up with me because I got drunk and came to his house and embarrased him. Its a long story but I got drunk because we were fighting and he dumped me, then i went to my cuzzins for someone to talk to, and we ended up drinking all weekend, and I finally realized that I wasnt going to be able to leave her house because she was using my car for work and kept bringing alcohol home for me, I know Im an adult and I should have declined, and I am usually just an occasional drinker, but I was so low that I felt like I wanted to numb myself, thank God im left her house because I felt kind of stuck there. I drove to his house because he has always been there for me as a friend even if we are fighting, but anyways, he broke up with me and since then I have been working and staying away from alcohol altogether. He blocked me that day because i was calling and texting him to come get me alot. Since then we have spoken on the phone but mostly me just apologizing and graveling and him calling me a piece of **** for doing that. I stopped calling him and he texted me he was thinking of me a week later, and now he has my checks that have been mailed to his house and a few of my things and he contacted my mom to let me know because he wasnt sure i was getting his texts and wanted me to know. He then said this morning to call him, and when I did i said asked if he wanted to mail them to me, and he got all huffy like he was upset that I didnt want to see him in person, and I do, i want to get back with him, but im just taking care of myself right now and every time i talk to him he keeps reliving the horrible experience because he is completely mortified of what i did. And when i said ok well I can come get them then, he accused me of wanting to see his neighbor because apparently i asked his neighbor to use his phone when i showed up to his house. His neighbor who turned out to be a dirtbag told him i was trying to hit on him, which is not true, and he totally misunderstood me asking to use his phone as me being flirty. I was just trying to get a hold of my boyfriend. any ways, he is now talking **** to me so i just hung up and told him to leave me alone, and now hes texting me that he thinks i cheated on him during the relationship, what is his deal? I feel like he is just playing mind games with me.
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 I don't think your BF is playing mind games. He broke up with you. Feeling down you got drunk. Ok, maybe not the smartest reaction but understandable. Then like many drunks you had no self control & made a pest out of yourself. Having drunken you incessantly call, text then come over, solidified your BF's prior decision to end things. Accept that & move on. Now for the more important piece: . He broke up with me because I got drunk and came to his house and embarrased him. . I drove to his house Drunk driving is dangerous & a crime. Forget what could have happened to you -- loss of license, fines, jail etc. YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEBODY! How would you have felt then? The end of this romance would have been the least of your problems. If you pick up a drink put down your car keys & do not pick them back up again until you are sober. 3
Author Mstaken315 Posted February 7, 2017 Author Posted February 7, 2017 i agree with you completely and i take it very seriously what happened that day, I could have killed someone and that scared the crap out of me. That is why i have just stayed away from alcohol altogether until i feel like i can make responsible drinking decisions. That being said, my question is about why he is still calling and texting me. If he blocked me and said he wants nothing to do with me. Why wont he give back my clothes, and why is he texting me that hes thinking of me and when we talk its all chaos and blame game. I want to be adults about this whole thing, but i know i messed up and he has a right to be mad, so I feel torn to let him vent on me and talk crap to me because i feel i owe him that, but how much is enough and how do i know if he is trying to get back together and resolve this or if hes just texting cuz hes lonely and misses my company. I think he attempted to resolve this morning but his version of it is not very constructive. What the hell does he want from me?
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 Only he can answer that. Text back that you are willing to listen to what he has to say but you would like some clarity from him. Then meet him, listen & make decisions -- to stay together or break up. If you pick break up make arrangements to get your stuff. However, if the stuff isn't particularly valuable or sentimental, let it go. It's only stuff.
marky00 Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 This is ridiculous. If this guy genuinely cared, he wouldn't dump you for your drunken behaviour (in one fowl swoop). Just go hard NC and stop all the games. If he did care, pretty soon he will realise he broke up with you as some sort of tool of manipulation that almost always backfires. If he doesn't contact you, then all he was doing was "gas lighting". In other words, waited for one moment where you screwed up and jumped on it because he was looking for an exit anyway. Hard NC will reveal the truth.
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2017 Posted February 7, 2017 This is ridiculous. If this guy genuinely cared, he wouldn't dump you for your drunken behaviour (in one fowl swoop). He broke up with her before she got drunk. Him dumping her is WHY she got drunk. While drunk she made a pest of herself but now he's back talking to her. Hence the confusion. 2
marky00 Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 He broke up with me because I got drunk and came to his. Whatever. My point still stands. I have read nothing that states a valid reason for a breakup. What happens after the breakup is irrelevant.
spiderowl Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 Drunken behaviour aside (and assuming you have learned from that episode), it sounds like he wants to talk to you to vent and tell you off. If he did break up with you in the beginning, then I would take it as a break up and not contact him (or accept contact) unless it is essential. It sounds like you have to make some arrangement with him if he is receiving your mail, but keep it businesslike. I would just say to him that you are sorry for the fighting and drunkenness but that his venting at you is not helping. Tell him either he wants to get back together or he doesn't - in which case he should leave you in peace. This has all the makings of a drama relationship where each bounces from one argument and break-up to another. Both of you need to find less volatile ways of resolving problems between you. Blaming tends to get each others' backs up, however much it lets off tension at the time. Maybe you could both go to some crisis resolution training or something if you do get back together again.
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